I moved out and on...but I still dream about her. So help

[_sideways_]

It was the girl.
She had jealous tendencies, but also...I felt loved. She would cook for me....buy me workout shirts.
Speak with my mom about how to make me a better person. And vice versa.

I have a new apartment and new girls ... but I have dreams with her.
I changed my phone number and I don't have her number memorized so there's no way of contacting her.
It just sucks that two people who were obviously into each other can't work together.
I had a date last night.... whatever...I'm still thinking of her.
I don't know how to forget her.
I listen to music, jog, talk to the girls at the mall.
But I still have dreams about her.

 

[Stuffnu]

I periodically dream about an ex from 10 years ago that I totally F’d up with.
Sounds recent and you’re still healing. The only solution is time and to keep busy.
Eventually she’ll become a distant memory..

 

[Jack22]

If you've got time to think, it means you've got time to kill. Get a hobby, devote yourself 100% to it, and realize that soul mates don't exist, and take responsibility for your own happiness. When you're thinking "woe is me, we were perfect for each other! Why oh why didn't things work out the way I expected?" realize that this is your emotional brain. F*ck your emotions, they're feminine. Look at it from the logically masculine perspective. "Okay, our relationship didn't work out. Was it because I put the p*ssy on a pedestal? Was I passive aggressive, needy, overly emotional? How can I change things in the future so I'll have a higher chance of success?"

 

[Black Widow Void]

It's been a long time, but I've been there. It's no fun.

Chances are, part of you doesn't want to let go entirely because once you do, she's "gone for good." There was a time when the ghost of an ex seemed like better company that letting go for good.

It's sort of like when someone dies (we tend to forget their bad qualities and only remember the good).

My suggestion is to write down any flaw of hers when it comes to mind. Keep a list and allow that list to grow. The more you do this, the quicker the healing process.

 

[BackInTheGame78]

It was the girl.
She had jealous tendencies, but also...I felt loved. She would cook for me....buy me workout shirts.
Speak with my mom about how to make me a better person. And vice versa.

I have a new apartment and new girls ... but I have dreams with her.
I changed my phone number and I don't have her number memorized so there's no way of contacting her.
It just sucks that two people who were obviously into each other can't work together.
I had a date last night.... whatever...I'm still thinking of her.
I don't know how to forget her.
I listen to music, jog, talk to the girls at the mall.
But I still have dreams about her.

It can't work because instead of communicating you ran away. Immature people cannot have mature relationships.

 

[_sideways_]

It's been a long time, but I've been there. It's no fun.

Chances are, part of you doesn't want to let go entirely because once you do, she's "gone for good." There was a time when the ghost of an ex seemed like better company that letting go for good.

It's sort of like when someone dies (we tend to forget their bad qualities and only remember the good).

My suggestion is to write down any flaw of hers when it comes to mind. Keep a list and allow that list to grow. The more you do this, the quicker the healing process.

Thanks.
But.........
Man I miss her.
Obviously I can't call her....and she can't call me either.
She has her flaws ....that's why I'm not knocking on her door.
She's super jealous and.. like possesive.
But I miss her and I can't control my dreams.

My brain is all about her.
I know she loves me too.
But neither one of us has the phone number to call and apologize.
Tomorrow I work out, and find another....but it sucks that a girl I really liked...was super jealous and controlling.

 

[Bokanovsky]

It was the girl.
She had jealous tendencies, but also...I felt loved. She would cook for me....buy me workout shirts.
Speak with my mom about how to make me a better person. And vice versa.

I have a new apartment and new girls ... but I have dreams with her.
I changed my phone number and I don't have her number memorized so there's no way of contacting her.
It just sucks that two people who were obviously into each other can't work together.
I had a date last night.... whatever...I'm still thinking of her.
I don't know how to forget her.
I listen to music, jog, talk to the girls at the mall.
But I still have dreams about her.

You are bound to have those feelings sometimes. It’s called being human. As long as you can keep your melancholy under control, you will forget about her soon enough.

 

[Mike32ct]

Don’t listen to any sad songs, even if it’s tempting to do so. I binged on them recently while I was hurting because of a chick. It (understandably) made it 5X worse.

Only listen to fun, uplifting music. Maybe some club music or 2000s hip hop to get your game/pimp mind more active.

TLDR: There are no easy hacks here. Can’t control your dreams; but during the day, music can affect your mood positively or negatively.

 

[_sideways_]

Thanks boka....I try during the day to go out...dress nice and let another girl have her turn.
It just sucks cuz I had a nice thing going.
And I know I wasn't married to her....but...she was the only girl I gave foot rubs and...I don't think I will ever feel that way.
Not because I'm a simp.
Because, she takes care of herself....
Plus, she took care of my feet too.

I know where she lives....I can go to her house with chocolate and flowers... But I have my ego.
I won't do that.
But at the same time, let the ego aside and love.
I'm going to die one day. Why be so egotistical?

 

[_sideways_]

Mike32....thanks...
I have brothers...but they don't understand that ...I fall in love sometimes.

I'm sure it will pass....but still....it wasn't my fault this time.
I didn't cheat.
It was her that was super jealous and she pushed me away.

Can't win with these girls.

 

[EyeOnThePrize]

@_sideways_
You need to be decisive. You chose to split, and now your mission should be to heal and grow in your own direction. That means when you feel this rose-tinted view of her, that is exactly when you should double down on aggressive positive activities to promote your own independent fulfillment. You had reasons for splitting that violated your core principles, now is the time to stand behind those principles, to yourself, to her, and to the world.

Maybe you shouldn't date for a bit and simply focus on surrounding yourself with friends.

Remember that if you go back and apologize/talk to her, the same problems will resurface. If you think they are problems worth tolerating then go for it, but typically if you've split and are spending time apart you should learn to enjoy that time.

If she pushed you away then you should respect her decision and stay away. Coming back to beg/plead would be disrespectful to her since you're ignoring her decision and would be undermining your dignity. Chasing a person that doesn't want you is expressing to them and to the world that you deserve such treatment, that you crave to be treated like trash, is that how you really feel about yourself?

 

[BackInTheGame78]

Clearly you haven't moved on, or you wouldn't be posting about her. Grow up and stop playing childish games.

 

[metalwater]

what is different about that one girl from the others?

 

[Mike32ct]

Also get plenty of sleep. You’ll have a more rough time (during the day) when you are overtired.

 

[Modern Man Advice]

It was the girl.
She had jealous tendencies, but also...I felt loved. She would cook for me....buy me workout shirts.
Speak with my mom about how to make me a better person. And vice versa.

I have a new apartment and new girls ... but I have dreams with her.
I changed my phone number and I don't have her number memorized so there's no way of contacting her.
It just sucks that two people who were obviously into each other can't work together.
I had a date last night.... whatever...I'm still thinking of her.
I don't know how to forget her.
I listen to music, jog, talk to the girls at the mall.
But I still have dreams about her.

Embrace it. It's okay to remember those who made an impact and left an imprint. With time it will be less and less but it will be there until the day you die so embrace it.

The only mistake you would make is to stop living your life and growing because of it. You can still think about her and walk your path.


Modern Man Advice

 

[_sideways_]

Summed up beautifully in 1 simple question. Always ask yourself this question OP

It felt like home.
Other girls felt like a nice day, or a nice long vacation.
This one felt more permanent.

 

[_sideways_]

Ok but at some point you must realize that man creates pictures of her in his mind that depart from many angles of what her true nature is like. If a guy does not want to get out of this and find truth no one can really help him

.....don't you think that every man builds up a woman he likes?

Obviously.

Even your mom...you love her.
You build her up.
Nobody is perfect

 

[_sideways_]

We love Tom brady.
We don't know how he truly is

 

[_sideways_]

Point was.....
Tired of this alpha you're not.
Next.

I wrote this thinking I would get a real response.....of....it's ok.
You think I'm not better than you?
Or equal?

I was hoping to hear.

It's ok.
You still da man.
Give it time.
Apparently this site.
If u ain't crushing models....you're doing something wrong.


I liked her. My bad.

 

[corrector]

I thought only I had this issue because I cant get women that easily so I was stuck with good orphaned memories and rejection. But hearing from someone else who has got women but still feels for an ex does not make me feel as crappy about this department of life.

A song for orphan memory of exes: