I messed up, twice!

[Nutz]

Met up with HB Friday for dinner and drinks. It should have been we meet, hang out for a bit, then hook up. However, I choaded out and didn't pull the trigger. I think she was as disappointed as I was that I was off my game and wasn't like the week before when we nearly hooked up.

I sent her the following text and got her interacting again:

"How's my 3rd favorite cat lady, I mean cat lover doing?"
(She's a vet and has a couple cats)

She said I hurt her feelings (joking) and some other stuff. I replied with:

"Do you have a good imagination?"

Instead of a yes or no, I got this instead:

"Im not sure i want to know where you're headed with this"

I didn't know what to do with that kind of **** test, so I plowed and pulled the trigger:

"I'll take that as a yes. Lets imagine Friday night ended with us passed out and too exhausted to move."

Now it's the downward spiral and I can't get out. Here was her response:

"im confused, r u saying that's what happened 2 u?? Or that's what you wanted to happen 2 us?"

To which I replied:
"you'll just have to wait until we hang out again. Which reminds me, I have a cool surprise for you."

/facepalm

Naturally it's been dead air ever since.

By the way, the "surprise" was going to be a series of BT spikes, followed by going caveman. Think 'throw her against the wall and make out, break off, and walk to the bedroom' kinda deal.

I think I may need to do some push-pull and generate some feelings in her that will want to see me again. I thought holding that stuff over her head until we hang out again would get that going, but I guess not after reading the above. Perhaps I could toss out a non-sequitor and send:

"Sorry, surprise expired. It required a good imagination and I'm not so sure about yours."

At some point I'd like to work back to it with:
"Maybe I'll make an exception though. Are you adventurous?"
Yes
"I'll come over and give it to you."


What's funny to me is that I'm spinning another plate right now and when I think about the other girl coming back to this one gives me a clearer mind. I can see I was getting pretty choady. I think a good course of bait, hook, reel, release & old fashioned push-pull is in order.

So what do you guys recommend?

 

[Nutz]

Texting is only to be used for delivering orders like "wear that sexy little white outfit tonight" or "I'm going to tear that pusssy up after dinner." Make her smile; make her blush! But for fvcks sake never try to "game" or hold a conversation via text. You lose every single time.

As for this:



Bro, put down the shovel and stop digging this hole. When you take a girl out and show her a good time, as you know, you need to man the **** up and pin her against the wall and kiss her. Then nail her to the matress and nail her again in the morning before kicking her out so you can can get about your day. Instead, as you said was your mistake, you wussed out and started sending AFC text messages.

I used to do the exact same thing, but ever since I turned txts into nothing more than a tool to dominate a woman, it has been valuable.

Great job getting this quality woman to go out with you; just learn from this.

Werd. Cutting off texts for a day or so. Just going to give her orders. She needs a guy that is in control and takes charge. Texting should be the same. Makes perfect sense! Man, thanks. That's the kind of realization I needed.

 

[Nutz]

How about this, sent say, tomorrow to give it a day to clear the air? Also, this was the advice I got from another forum, paraphrased for brevity:

Nutz: Got some fun **** going down this weekend, I'll let u know what's up later tonight

The purpose is to get her wondering (the possibility of something more fun than what I have planned?) and isn't try hard. It also lets her know that I'll be in contact later one, so it's not just sprung on her. Once I get back to her, offer up a couple of things that are going on, but only invite her along to the last one... i.e.

Nutz: Hitting up a house party with some people this Sat. at 8, gonna be there for a couple of hours, then we're hitting up xxxxxxx for xxxxxxxx. U gonna be good to hang out by 10?

The purpose is not trying so hard to hang out w/ her, and are doing something most guys would want her to do w/ them without inviting her. Once I get back to hanging out w/ her I basically need to start over w/ this girl on a clean slate.

 

[Nutz]

That wasn't my idea. Just a paraphrased repost from another forum. I like your advice of being more direct then. How's this?

"We're hanging out Friday. Dress sexy and meet me at xyz at 10."

Hell man, just give me some examples of what you'd send.

 

[DJDamage]

That wasn't my idea. Just a paraphrased repost from another forum. I like your advice of being more direct then. How's this?

"We're hanging out Friday. Dress sexy and meet me at xyz at 10."

Hell man, just give me some examples of what you'd send.

Dude is it true that you are 32??!! WHY Don't YOU JUST CALL HER!!???

 

[Nutz]

Dude is it true that you are 32??!! WHY Don't YOU JUST CALL HER!!???

I have stuff to do and can't be spending all my time on the phone. I fire off a text when I get a chance and that's that. The problem is I have NO text game whatsoever.

 

[DJDamage]

I have stuff to do and can't be spending all my time on the phone. I fire off a text when I get a chance and that's that. The problem is I have NO text game whatsoever.

Last time I checked it takes about 2-3 mins to text a long ass sentence then calling and saying it in 2-3 seconds.

You are just making excuses.

Fixed:

The problem is I have a weak game.

 

[Nutz]

Last time I checked it takes about 2-3 mins to text a long ass sentence then calling and saying it in 2-3 seconds.

Great, so what ADVICE do you have to offer? Just toss texting out all together and only call from now on?

 

[DJDamage]

Great, so what ADVICE do you have to offer? Just toss texting out all together and only call from now on?

No, but you need to call this chick on the phone to hear her voice and reaction to your proposal. You were trying unsuccessfully to guage her interest in you through texting and by the sounds of things, she wasn't really digging you. You couldn't tell if she was serious, hurt, miffed or amused, those kind of information texting do not give you.

Texting is good for one liner's throwbacks and should be stopped as soon as it enters a serious conversation zone which it did in your case.

 

[Nutz]

Cool. Thanks. I see what you're saying about it heading into trouble when it went beyond discussing logistics and one liners. The moment she said I "hurt her feelings" I probably should have stopped with the texting and called. Not because she was serious, but because she was playful and receptive to keeping in touch.

 

[Ollie]

Are you sure she was being playful when she said you hurt her feelings? I actually text a bit more than most guys but it works for me most of the time as I only text when I already have things wrapped up and IL is high. However, the problem I run into sometimes is I'm an obnoxious assho!e most of the time which works for me in person and on the phone due to the way I say it, but it doesn't covert properly to text. On more than one occasion I've thought the girl knew I was fvcking with her and wasn't upset, but in actuality she was. It's hard to pick up her tone over a text so be careful.

 

[Nutz]

Yeah, it was smiley faced and all that happy sunshine crap.

 

[Nutz]

Sometimes...man...sometimes I just have to laugh.

Guess who just called me to hang out tomorrow. /facepalm

 

[Nutz]

Update:
Last friday was a disaster as I choaded out. Didn't hear from here until Monday, set up to go out Tuesday, but she flaked for a happy hour with a meetup group.

Went cold since then so this morning I sent her the following:

"Just saw a bird fly into a window. made me think of you ;p"

She replied about me getting her sick in a **** testy way. I replied with:

"Awww... lucky for you kissing is great for your health. I'm pretty busy or id be over to fix you up Free l8r?"

She replied with:

"Hold your breath on that. Just talked to [her friend] and we're going bowling at dave & busters at 530 with a singles group she's a part of. You want to come with us?"

I sense being friend zoned so I haven't replied. Was thinking about just plowing through with the following but it's weak and I'm at a loss for a solid reply:

"already have plans until later tonight"


And the truth is I already do have stuff to do and wasn't thinking about seeing her until like 10 or 11 anyway.


Any suggestions?

 

[MisterMcGee]

"Went cold since then so this morning I sent her the following:"
Wait, you went "cold" for 3 days?
That's not going 'cold', that's 'not talking to her for a couple days'.
Going cold is not contacting her or being receptive for at least a week or two.
Geeze, you dont talk to a girl for like 3 days and you think you're going cold on her?

 

[hover411]

Is the bowling alley the environment you wanna be with her in? with a possible c-ckblocking friend?

if you already had plans, i would stick with them.

if you were gonna be out later that night, i would say, "have fun, i'll let you know where i'll be afterwards if you two wanna come through for some drinks."

if she is gonna be busy all night, don't try to set up another date quite yet and just wish her a good time.

then let a couple days go and then hit her up for a date.

 

[The_Scotman]

when she acted confused she wasnt confused at all she was just being cold

 

[Nutz]

Okay. More updates. She texted me saying she's doing that bowling thing with a friend, I replied I already have plans but maybe later, and then she called and left this longwinded voicemail wanting me to go.

I think I see what's happening which is the more I act disinterested the more she chases. I think Decibel is right that I need to get her face to face and hard core game other women and drive her nuts. Only then will she have attraction enough to get sexual instead of keeping up this stupid frame game she likes to play.