I messed up.. advice please?

[pete101]

yeah i guess you're right. i think in situations like this a positive outlook is not a realistic view of how the situation actually is..

if i do decide that i'd be fine being her friend.. how would i go about contacting her for that? would i just contact when shes back in like a couple of weeks or send her msg saying..?

(in the past i've noticed any future contact equals still pursuing her even if my new intentions were not to..)

 

[pete101]

is it even possible to reconcile after something like this and be friends? i dont really see how you'd even initiate something like that without her thinking your still pursuing her every time you contact in future.. but i'm sure there must be a smart way to do it.

 

[The Nice Guy is Gone]

is it even possible to reconcile after something like this and be friends? i dont really see how you'd even initiate something like that without her thinking your still pursuing her every time you contact in future.. but i'm sure there must be a smart way to do it.

That's why you wait until a couple of weeks after she gets back to contact her--if she answer's, she'll listen to what you have to say. If she doesn't answer, or call back, don't bother.

 

[pete101]

oh yeah you said. thanks.

do i just not mention what happened at all and just pretend it never happened if she picks up?

i assume it be a bad idea to suggest to meet up on that particular call and should leave it for another time?

 

[The Nice Guy is Gone]

just pretend it never happened

That's it.

 

[pete101]

cool. i guess i shouldn't ask to meet up in that conversation should i?

 

[juanita]

look at the bright side: u will learn how to let things go. u will need this experience in your further life WITHOUT THAT GIRL. she is gone, delete her phone number, this will be your first step in mastering "don juanism". and cheer up, u re not 70 years old and she is not your last girl

 

[pete101]

im finding it very difficult to accept coz i still believe i have a glimmer of hope and some breathing space over the next week and a half.. i'm just not sure how that conversation is suppose to go coz i still believe she is/was undecided.. probably isn't now but on the basis of the last 15 mins i ruined a very good night up till then..

it just seems that if i have the patience to wait for the right time to contact her again i stand in a much better chance.. i just dont know how i should play the next contact i have with her..?

 

[pete101]

just an update guys.. i tried leaving it for a few weeks but she never got back to me so i decided to contact her yesterday asking how she was and if she wanted to meet up as friends. i called her first at lunch time but she didn't pick up and followed on with a sms after stating the above and wanted to meet as friends. dont know if she believed me.

didn't hear from her till the night where she texted me apologising for not replying earlier and that she only saw the message just then (i think she was lying but she did text me from a foreign number so may not had her normal phone on her throughout the day) she continued on to say she was going up north and would give me a call next week.

i'm not sure whether she just responded out of guilt and not to be rude but has no intention of calling me next week. cos it seems a bit uncanny that she waited till the night to respond where it would not be feasibly possible to meet up at that time of night.

i assume its a good sign that she responded given the doom and gloom of the responses i've had on this thread.. but maybe its just false hope and wishful thinking that i seem to think its not over now.. am i just imagining it?

i was very surprised that she responded cos even i thought it was pretty much over until yesterday.

 

[StrongBad]

Dude, give it up!!

It sounds like you've got a case of oneitis man, not an attractive trait as it reeks of desperation.

Like many have said previously, just chill out and do nothing. Obsessing over whether or not she responds to your texts and what that means is not worth your time.

If this girl isn't a heartless b***h, she'd have no problem keeping you in the friend zone by staying nice and civil with you. That doesn't mean she's changed her mind regarding her attraction to you.

Go meet other women. You'll look back and laugh at this.