I made a move on a female friend and she said it was awkward and I was creepy

[Deicide]

I had a rough part of my day. And the bad thing is I really thought this girl was into me.
I had known her for a few years, which included my phase of life where I never made moves on girls, nor had girlfriends or sex. So, that's what she remembered me as, I hadn't talked to her in a year or so. I thought that I was definitely getting a makeout or maybe even some sex. I was wrong.

First off, she invites me over, and her mom is there with her kid. These logistics suck! I don't feel as comfortable as I normally would because of it. I even told her we could go back to my place, but that didn't work out due to the circumstances. So, I just have conversation and do little touches on her here and there. No problems since I've known her for so long. One thing is I'm really nervous about making a move on this girl, cause it's someone I was good friends with in another phase of life. She doesn't seem interested in me for some reason. But I igure it's time to make the move and that'll boost her attraction for me. Oh well, made the move anyways.

I got her on the couch, my favorite place to be for msking out. Held her hand, got close, did the staring thing before people kiss for sexual tension. She said that was creepy. I told her that I didn't care, I get laid anyways. And here we go, I start hearing nonsense about how I shouldn't kiss her because my friend is into her. She rejects my kiss attempts a couple times. I do give things a brief break after the rejects, and go back to work though. I do finally kiss her, but she doesn't kiss back.
Later, she sent me a text saying what I did was awkward.
Now how could what I did be thought of as being creepy or awkward?
This sucks, I was almost sure I was going to have another girl to bang, and instead it's a rejection that could mess up my reputation(I don't care much for rep, but I'd rather not be the creepy guy). But she had always thought of me as this nice innocent kid that never got laid and always watched porn. And now I'm out to get laid, and she didn't accept it.
Maybe I should rethink trying to bang girls from my former high school.

What could I have done better in this situation?

 

[Krueg]

I onl read the title. Fvck it, who cares? Thats part of being a Man. You take risks and chances and learn from it. Dont be afraid to fail, in fact be willing to fail. Now, you can say " Hey, I grabbed my balls and went for something I wanted to do."

 

[EvilAgenda]

I figure it's time to make the move and that'll boost her attraction for me

Making a move is what would be called seduction, not attraction, my friend.

What could I have done better in this situation?

You were friends with her for years. It's like, imagine your guy friend suddenly trying to kiss you. Yea, pretty fking awkward.

In any case, if I were you, I wouldn't sweat it. It seems like you don't even really care about females.

 

[Ihateinitiatingalot7]

I onl read the title. Fvck it, who cares? Thats part of being a Man. You take risks and chances and learn from it. Dont be afraid to fail, in fact be willing to fail. Now, you can say " Hey, I grabbed my balls and went for something I wanted to do."

the hardest part is learning from mistakes, after all, Albert Einstein said "defininition of insanity: trying the same thing over and over and expecting different results" so i guess we just keep changing and alternating our approaches?

 

[sstype]

You weren't being awkward....she just wasn't into you. Her problem..not yours.

Don't let her mess with your head like that.
Just play it off like nothing happened and say "cool, well I had fun we should hang out again sometime" It only becomes awkward if you accept her reality and letting her control the narrative of "my friend creeped me out"

Thats bullsh1t.....you grabbed your balls and went for what you want.
She should be flattered that you made the moves on her. Don't say that to her, but that's how YOU should reframe it mentally. If that bothers her and she refuses to continue being friends, then she wasn't really a true "friend" but just another typical AW and you were her orbiter that stepped out of line.

You did fine man...now go find other girls to mack on.

 

[Krueg]

the hardest part is learning from mistakes, after all, Albert Einstein said "defininition of insanity: trying the same thing over and over and expecting different results" so i guess we just keep changing and alternating our approaches?

Dating isnt rocket science! Its a mans nature to be agressive, dominate and conquer. If you dont go out and take ACTION and never try then you will never know or gain experience.

Every girl and situation is different. If you went up to 50 girls and said; WHATS YOUR NUMBER? I Bet you'll get more than ONE response.

 

[nismo-4]

Judge nismo on the case very quickly.

Understand that not every girl will be receptive to you. This kind of thing happens. Just don't dwell on this situation too hard. You're gonna take falls on the floor and kicks in the rear. It happens.

Move forward and go after more girls. So ordered.

Case closed.

 

[MisterD]

You weren't being awkward....she just wasn't into you. Her problem..not yours.

Don't let her mess with your head like that.
Just play it off like nothing happened and say "cool, well I had fun we should hang out again sometime" It only becomes awkward if you accept her reality and letting her control the narrative of "my friend creeped me out"

That bullsh1t.....you grabbed your balls and went for what you want.
She should be flattered that you made the moves on her. Don't say that to her, but that's how YOU should reframe it mentally. If that bothers her and she refuses to continue being friends, then she wasn't really a true "friend" but just another typical AW and you were her orbiter that stepped out of line.

You did fine man...now go find other girls to mack on.

you murdered it bro

he's exactly right. every single one of us lives in our own reality. what you want to do is have the chick become part of your reality. don't become part of hers

don't let her shame you into this reality where single heterosexual guys who try to put the moves on attractive females is frowned upon and friendships between a woman and a man who is sexually attracted to that woman is the norm

i'm not saying to lunge at every girl you meet but don't let them shame you into hiding your wants and desires. a man takes risks and goes after what he wants. heterosexual men want pu$$y and make it known.

do not be ashamed

 

[SoldMySoul]

You weren't being awkward....she just wasn't into you. Her problem..not yours.

Don't let her mess with your head like that.
Just play it off like nothing happened and say "cool, well I had fun we should hang out again sometime" It only becomes awkward if you accept her reality and letting her control the narrative of "my friend creeped me out"

That bullsh1t.....you grabbed your balls and went for what you want.
She should be flattered that you made the moves on her. Don't say that to her, but that's how YOU should reframe it mentally. If that bothers her and she refuses to continue being friends, then she wasn't really a true "friend" but just another typical AW and you were her orbiter that stepped out of line.

You did fine man...now go find other girls to mack on.

well said from my home town!! Never make apologies for being a man. Just like SS said, if she does not want to friend anymore...pi$$ on her!!!

 

[Jariel]

Yep, that's very creepy. If a girl rejects your kiss attempt, then trying again and again is hardly going to increase her attraction. Imagine if the situation was reversed and someone you weren't attracted to tried making out with you and wouldn't take the hint.

It's great you made your move and that's something you should never be afraid of or apologise for. But if you get knocked back, you need to bail out. It sounds like she was being very polite and forgiving because you were friends and didn't want to hurt you, otherwise you may have got a slap across the face.

This is one thing I really hate about the pick up community. It convinces guys that they can somehow control attraction and pushes them into a state of delusion where they perceive rejection as a game or "sh!t test".

My advice would be accept that some girls just won't be into you and there's nothing you can do to change that. Learn to accept rejection with dignity, brush it off and move on to the next.

 

[coochieman]

If you had this same scenario setting with different women, you would obtain difference in results so @Ihateinitiatingalot7: the concern isn't the approach or chance he took, it's the particular woman here. This is not algebra, this is real-life so twists, turns and inconsistencies must occur. Fact is: it's most likely she's uninterested.

Thank yourself for making that move. Now, remember that nothing's awkward so no apologies OK? Now, downplay the importance of that moment and play it cool onward. Do not become wussy around her! Way better to even try again than becoming a nervous wreck around her. Be a big boy.

 

[SoldMySoul]

I just saw where you attempted to kiss her repeatedly.. Whoa Cowboy.... One time should be enough unless you guys are engaging in playfulness. Now I see why she said"Creepy"

One time I wanted to see a woman's attraction level...years ago... I tried to kiss, and she kissed back but with NO feeling.. That right there told me what I needed to know. Move on.

If you had an unattractive female friend trying to kiss you and you was not feeling it, how would you feel/ react?

 

[K2000kidd]

Attraction has to be there first. No attraction NO DICE. live and learn man

 

[SgtSplacker]

I make it a point not to "go for it" unless i'm pretty sure she's into me first. I'll usually start some sexual talk. Maybe talk about kissing, ask her if she's a good kisser. Tell her something like "if your mom wasn't here I would love to see how you kiss" or "I read this article about kissing, do you know what a biter is? lol" and feel her out like that, just don't be gross or too sexual think disney channel teen romance. If I don't see i'm turning her on i'm done. Girls throw too many mixed signals, if she's not even willing to talk kissing with me then forget it.

 

[sstype]

I just saw where you attempted to kiss her repeatedly.. Whoa Cowboy.... One time should be enough unless you guys are engaging in playfulness. Now I see why she said"Creepy"

One time I wanted to see a woman's attraction level...years ago... I tried to kiss, and she kissed back but with NO feeling.. That right there told me what I needed to know. Move on.

If you had an unattractive female friend trying to kiss you and you was not feeling it, how would you feel/ react?

Hey nothing wrong with making sure. Sometimes, in this game, you have to take it that point where she may get uncomfortable....its not really your fault that she wasn't honest enough to just say "stop kissing me" or "i'm not interested in you" or just get up and leave. Persistence is gold to your game, I've converted enough women from "no" to "f*ck me" to know that it works.

To me the word "creepy" has no weight whatsoever, given how overused and carelessly its thrown around these days. Some girls will call an unattractive guy "creepy" and "awkward" just for asking them out or looking at them.
I'm sure the OP could have done the same thing with another girl with high IL but put up LMR and thought he was the biggest alpha for being so "confident" and plowing through.

Let's not get caught up in the semantics here. OP made some moves, she wasn't interested...so at least he knows where he stands with her. Overcomplicating with "what he should have done instead" is just an ego preservation tactic.

 

[TillTheEndOfTime]

When a guy a girl finds attractive suddenly goes in for the kiss, it is "romantic".

When a guy a girl does not find attractive suddenly goes in for the kiss, it is "awkward/creepy".

 

[FairShake]

Honestly deicide, you should really only make moves on girls who are giving you signals.

A more politically correct term than "creepy" would be "socially awkward plus." Trying to kiss a girl who doesn't like you or want to be kissed one time is "socially akward." Trying to kiss her 3 (or more?) times is "socially creepy."

 

[DJDamage]

She doesn't seem interested in me for some reason. But I igure it's time to make the move and that'll boost her attraction for me. Oh well, made the move anyways.

Don't get me wrong, that is a good attitude to have but if a woman doesn't seem interested in you, its probably not a good idea to make a move.

Attraction needs to be slowly raised/build not forced.

Also you were already in a bad position to begin with. You were a chump back in the day and now that you are not anymore you assume that she will see you as the new you, however she still sees you as that chump back of the day because of your past. As the saying goes "A friend you'll be, a friend she will see".

You are in a much better position to hit on women you don't have a bad history with. Also dont fret if she calls you creepy, because back in the day where she used you as an emotional tampon by flirting with you and giving you false hope it eventually backfired on her. At least now she doesn't think she can take your balls and put it in her purse. So in the end its better to be called creepy and be rebuffed then being that chump she cries in front of when her a$$hole of a boyfriend hurts her. Now that's creepy.

 

[vatoloco]

Next time, don't kiss women who don't find you physically attractive.

 

[PrettyBoyAJ]

To the OP.

Either a girl is going to be interested in you or she ain't. Its that plain and simple. You made your move and she wasn't interested..... and that's that. Don't read into too much of what this girl has to say. F*ck what she has to say and just make your move to the next girl.