I made a huge mistake with a coworker

[Jimmy316]

Hi guys

I learned about this forum while reading about some pua stuff some time ago.

for the past week I have been so upset and blaming myself for doing this, but I don't know what's wrong with what I did or how to fix it.

I have been working at a company for about 2 years. This woman also joined the team the same time that I did. At first I liked her sexually. But I never said anything and acted normal.

Recently, I realized I don't like her sexually any more. But somehow, I still like her, as a human being. She has somehow stolen my heart. I think she is cute, the way a puppy is cute. maybe I like her because she showed some affection towards me. for example, whenever the company buys lunch and I don't know, she comes to me and tells me to come because there is lunch. it's these little gestures of kindness that made me love her. yeah, I was hurt as a child and I am needy for kindness. I won't deny it.

so 3 weeks ago she comes to the boss while I am there and she says she is tired of this job and if she starts her business, she will leave. I didn't say anything but that night I cried.

Then this past thursday I was sitting at the coffeeshop near the company in the morning. she came to the coffee shop to get something and we just started talking. just normal chat. I asked her "do you have plans to leave?" she said "no, I am happy here, why do you ask?" then I told her couple of weeks ago you came to the boss and said you're leaving. I am going to be completely honest with you, when you said that, I cried. she said "no you didn't" like she didn't believe me. I said "yeah I did" then I couldn't hold it any more and while half-crying I said "you have a special place in my heart" and I might have said some other stuff, the conversation wasn't that short but I don't remember what else I said. but I know my last sentence was "you have a special place in my heart"

ever since then, she won't talk to me. WTF? I am trying to figure out if I said anything bad? is it creepy? How do I fix it? will the passage of time fix this? I just want things to be back to normal. Again, not interested in her sexually and just love her as a human being.

 

[Glassguy]

Wonderful story for your 1st great addition to the forum.

For the love of everything this is one time that I hope you are a troll.

 

[cola]

Confessing your love in tears at a coffee shop when you never even been on a date or hung outside of work is really creepy..

This may sound rude but are you autistic?

No disrespect that is a genuine question ...

 

[DonDraper7]

Woah what the hell dude, you went from 0 to a 100 in a second. Gotta be a troll, worshiping a girl because she said "Yo there's lunch" lol

 

[Atom Smasher]

Troll Meter:

Normal................Caution......TROLL
...................................................^^^...

 

[sph21]

You may be a troll. But this kind of behavior is kind of normal for a nice guy. So, I'm going to answer your questions.

I am going to be completely honest with you, when you said that, I cried. she said "no you didn't" like she didn't believe me. I said "yeah I did" then I couldn't hold it any more and while half-crying I said "you have a special place in my heart" and I might have said some other stuff, the conversation wasn't that short but I don't remember what else I said. but I know my last sentence was "you have a special place in my heart"

It took you 2 years to make a move and your first move is to become feminine towards her?! Girls aren't turned on by feminine guys. Femininity is their default nature. They want a masculine man to step up. Crying or telling her that you have a soft heart won't make her fall for you. What were you thinking?! Were you thinking that by being nice/ having a soft heart then she'll be more attracted to you?! You're too soft as a man. Why would she consider you as her man if you're weaker emotionally than her? It's not going to happen.

You were confessing that you're a weak man and the chase is over before she started anything.Girls love challenge. You offer nothing for her.

ever since then, she won't talk to me. WTF? I am trying to figure out if I said anything bad? is it creepy?

You did and said something creepy. You might think that what you said or did were something sweet but it was a total attraction killer.

How do I fix it?

What do you mean by "fix it"? Fixing the relationship? forget it. it's over. Fixing yourself? Don't act needy/ desperate. Build a mentally strong man. In short, be a man.

will the passage of time fix this? I just want things to be back to normal.

No. You only got one shot with women. And that chance had long gone.

Again, not interested in her sexually and just love her as a human being.

Are you kidding me? Only nice guys have this kind of way of thinking. You're too afraid to objectify her sexually while what she really wants is a sexual man. Women are weaker than men but that doesn't mean that they don't want a man who is (at least mentally) stronger than them.

Only the Sexual Ones get the girls.” ~Pook

She's a sexual being. You're a sexual being. By not accepting your own sexuality and her sexuality, you're turning into a non sexual male. Attraction is a biological and psychological process. Both must be mutual in order for her to be attracted to you. If you eliminate nature (biological process) then you have lost half the advantage. You have a weak inner feelings and that makes you lose half the battle.

You're not in a friendzone right now. You're in a creepyzone. Stop acting creepy as if you don't want to be a manly man. Stop rejecting what nature demands for what men or women roles are. Something like nature is not to be debated. It's to be accepted. After reading Pook's posts, I realized that he has embraced what nature dictates all of us to do. That there is no point in confronting the nature. Look inside you and you'll hear nature's calling. Just listen and do what it says.

You still have lots to learn if you want to play this game. You made a good start by confessing your mistakes here. It's not easy to admit that you were wrong and to ask for help. Now, the next step is to learn how to become a man. You can start that from DJ Bible. You might want to learn how to read body language. It will help a lot. Youtube is a great site to learn everything about body language.

 

[Jimmy316]

sph21

I know all about the nice guy stuff. I know you can't convince a girl to like you. I know you don't win a girl over by spilling your guts. I was not intending to pick her up. I was trying to be as platonic as possible because I have heard from a good source that she has herpes and I don't want to have sex with her because I don't want to catch her herpes. I am not in denial, I am not ashamed of my sexuality. I was VERY careful to not say anything that would imply sexual desire for her. I was trying to be as platonic as possible. I was trying as much as I could to be her "gay friend" if you will. I just felt like I wanted her to know how special she is to me, but it did not work out how I had envisioned at all.

by "fix" I mean I just want her to forget about this. I want things to be the way they were a week ago. It's been almost one week and I thought just the passage of time would fix it, but it hasn't she is still giving me a cold shoulder and avoiding me.

Cola,
I have been told in real life by more than one person that I may have autism. I can't relate to people. I have a lot of trouble seeing things from other people's perspective. Hence why I am asking what I did wrong because I just don't see it.

I am thinking ignoring her and making her feel "you ain't that special to me" could bring her back to normal. maybe I could flirt with other girls in front of her and ignore her? will that fix it?

 

[Dingo]

This can't be real.... LMAO....

If you're for real you're going to be schooled...

 

[MrJack]

Woah what the hell dude, you went from 0 to a 100 in a second. Gotta be a troll, worshiping a girl because she said "Yo there's lunch" lol

Lmao yo there's lunch. Instant love. Thanks for the laugh.

 

[MrJack]

sph21

I am thinking ignoring her and making her feel "you ain't that special to me" could bring her back to normal. maybe I could flirt with other girls in front of her and ignore her? will that fix it?

Lol well you kinda already told her she has a special place in your heart while crying so that's not gonna work.

Honestly this is hilarious and I'm sorry if you're serious but nah you have to be a troll.

But I'll humor you.

This is what was going through her mind..

"What the actual f*ck?"

And that's exactly what's going through my mind right now.

 

[beforeimgone]

Recently, I realized I don't like her sexually any more. But somehow, I still like her, as a human being. She has somehow stolen my heart.

Stopped reading.

You deserved whatever happened.

 

[RangerMIke]

Well... where to start. I don't believe a fvcking thing you typed... no man is this fvcking stupid. I believe this is a bunch of made up sh!t.

On the microscopic chance you are real, and really fvcking stupid beyond anything possible...... you have completely fvcked up with this chick... there really is no coming back from this. Put her out of you mind.... seriously you have to forget about her because you do not have an ice cube's chance in hell of recovering from this.

 

[Fruitbat]

Only one way to remedy this OP. tell her you are getting bullied by some girl scouts and you need her help.

 

[ApolloSunGod]

Definitely a Troll.. if its real you deserved the Beta of the year award, time to man up & hunt the prey cry after you pump & dump the hoe in laughter "you have a special place in my heart" WTF only when they been f**K silly, you have a lot to learn move on NC shell reach out but stop this stuff makes me cringe lmao ..

 

[AJ84]

sph21

I know all about the nice guy stuff. I know you can't convince a girl to like you. I know you don't win a girl over by spilling your guts. I was not intending to pick her up. I was trying to be as platonic as possible because I have heard from a good source that she has herpes and I don't want to have sex with her because I don't want to catch her herpes. I am not in denial, I am not ashamed of my sexuality. I was VERY careful to not say anything that would imply sexual desire for her. I was trying to be as platonic as possible. I was trying as much as I could to be her "gay friend" if you will. I just felt like I wanted her to know how special she is to me, but it did not work out how I had envisioned at all.

by "fix" I mean I just want her to forget about this. I want things to be the way they were a week ago. It's been almost one week and I thought just the passage of time would fix it, but it hasn't she is still giving me a cold shoulder and avoiding me.

Cola,
I have been told in real life by more than one person that I may have autism. I can't relate to people. I have a lot of trouble seeing things from other people's perspective. Hence why I am asking what I did wrong because I just don't see it.

I am thinking ignoring her and making her feel "you ain't that special to me" could bring her back to normal. maybe I could flirt with other girls in front of her and ignore her? will that fix it?

I'm going to assume you are not a troll because my cousin has autism and you sound a bit like him hence everyone's reaction to your op.

If you think you have autism get an assessment. If it's confirmed then you can at least have an answer for why you don't get human behavior etc. Autism is a communication disorder and will affect your ability to pick up girls if you don't get some therapy around learning how to communicate. You can definately learn these things just get an assessment and get help.

As for this girl, you can apologize and say you didn't intend to be weirded out you were just having a bad day (or something along those lines) and LET IT GO. Don't go on and on explaining things to her, talk to her once, leave her be, and focus on your communication concerns.

 

[AJ84]

Autistic people are the only people I have ever met who seek friendships and relationships with no hidden agenda. They are probably the most honest people out there because they don't have the mental capacity to be manipulative, to have alot of back doors etc.

I think that's actually refreshing.

 

[sosousage]

Oh God... why OP why.

@Beke this is very offensive

but its really fun damnit. im sorry for laughing

 

[El Payaso]

If you're going to troll, at least put some effort into it. Closed.