Very quick summary for lazy people who can't be bothered to read the details, girl I've been friends with for a while, getting on very well recently but I don't really think she's interested, then out of the blue I get a slow deliberate "I love you" followed by an awkward pause where I say nothing and she starts talking about what a great friend I am.. all a bit of a head f*ck for me.. I need to work out whether I actually want her.. and if I do, work out the best way to restart that conversation and conclude in the right way 
Anyway the details, in my usual boring long rambling style..
This is all related to a post from a few weeks back here: http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?threadid=79707, quick summary of it, girl I used to go to uni with, didn't know that well, then she moved to my city and we started hanging out alot, she started saying how much she loved hanging out with me and stuff leading me to think maybe I can get something going.
Anyway, there were no developments, then last week she started telling me about some guy she'd met, and asking me advice about where she should take him and stuff, at first I was a bit pissed off, then I thought screw it, she obviously only wants to be friends and decided I'd forget trying to sort something out with her. I went out on friday and chatted to a couple of girls and hooked up with one on the dancefloor, "there we go" I thought, I don't need her, and I was pretty happy with things. Then on saturday me and my flatmate met up with her to go to this club, before we got there she started talking about how this guy she's started seeing wasn't actually that great, and she was put off by him saying "I never believed in love at first sight, till now" after the first time they slept together...Still, I was still not really worrying about trying to get on with her or anything. The evening carried on, we were all on the dancefloor for a bit then we got bored and decided to go back to the bar, my flatmate got seperated from us and me and this girl ended up alone in the clubs outdoor garden area. We weren't really talking about anything much, just what we thought of the club, then there was a lull in the conversation, and she turns to me and says "I love you tom". No one outside of my family has ever said that to me, not like that, it was slow and deliberate.. there was a pause, long enough for it to be obvious that I wasn't going to say it back and in fact that I didn't have a f*ck*ng clue what to say.. and she started talking about, you're one of my best friends, I'm glad we're getting on so well etc. I mumble something about how I like what a good friend she is (my brain is still trying to take stock of what she said) and then a bouncer shows up to try and move us inside.
So bollocks, I thought she wasn't interested and decided I wouldn't bother, then she comes out with that and it gets me wondering again. I thought about all the reasons any girl says something like that without meaning it properly..
1) Was I being pathetic and whiny and self pitying and she was trying to make me feel better? No.
2) Was she upset or being neurotic and I'd been saying stuff to her to make her feel better? No.
3) Had she done something wrong and was trying to apologise and get back in my good books? No.
4) Was it part of a friendly hello/goodbye or jokey conversation? No.
Which leads me to the conclusion that it was planned and premeditated, there was a long enough silence before she said it for her to think, "Do I want to say this? yes I do." So she definitely means it. But in what context?... We have been getting on really well lately so maybe she does feel something and was trying to get me to reveal what I'm thinking or make a move, If I hadn't been so shocked I'd have made a move probably.. But alot of her behaviour doesn't fit with a girl who fancies me, she was talking about this guy and asking for advice.. and there are a couple of times when I've suggested meeting up and she's not taken the bait despite not being busy, plus times when we've been out and about and she's paid me noticably less attention than other people present..
I think the thing is neither of us is really sure what we want, and we're both seeing large chunks of what we want in the opposeite sex in each other, just not the whole picture.. I know she is a little too needy and neurotic than I'd like, and I think I'm not quite alpha male enough for her, but I dunno maybe I'm just being paranoid...
Anyway, when we were back inside the club she apologised for being tired and suggested she come over saturday evening for a quiet night in.. I know you're all thinking wahey you're in! But my flatmate (who is friends with her too) will be in, and she knows that.. so why didn't she just invite me over to hers? I dunno. Anyway this is the next time I'll be seeing her so we'll see what happens.
Anyway the details, in my usual boring long rambling style..This is all related to a post from a few weeks back here: http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?threadid=79707, quick summary of it, girl I used to go to uni with, didn't know that well, then she moved to my city and we started hanging out alot, she started saying how much she loved hanging out with me and stuff leading me to think maybe I can get something going.
Anyway, there were no developments, then last week she started telling me about some guy she'd met, and asking me advice about where she should take him and stuff, at first I was a bit pissed off, then I thought screw it, she obviously only wants to be friends and decided I'd forget trying to sort something out with her. I went out on friday and chatted to a couple of girls and hooked up with one on the dancefloor, "there we go" I thought, I don't need her, and I was pretty happy with things. Then on saturday me and my flatmate met up with her to go to this club, before we got there she started talking about how this guy she's started seeing wasn't actually that great, and she was put off by him saying "I never believed in love at first sight, till now" after the first time they slept together...Still, I was still not really worrying about trying to get on with her or anything. The evening carried on, we were all on the dancefloor for a bit then we got bored and decided to go back to the bar, my flatmate got seperated from us and me and this girl ended up alone in the clubs outdoor garden area. We weren't really talking about anything much, just what we thought of the club, then there was a lull in the conversation, and she turns to me and says "I love you tom". No one outside of my family has ever said that to me, not like that, it was slow and deliberate.. there was a pause, long enough for it to be obvious that I wasn't going to say it back and in fact that I didn't have a f*ck*ng clue what to say.. and she started talking about, you're one of my best friends, I'm glad we're getting on so well etc. I mumble something about how I like what a good friend she is (my brain is still trying to take stock of what she said) and then a bouncer shows up to try and move us inside.
So bollocks, I thought she wasn't interested and decided I wouldn't bother, then she comes out with that and it gets me wondering again. I thought about all the reasons any girl says something like that without meaning it properly..
1) Was I being pathetic and whiny and self pitying and she was trying to make me feel better? No.
2) Was she upset or being neurotic and I'd been saying stuff to her to make her feel better? No.
3) Had she done something wrong and was trying to apologise and get back in my good books? No.
4) Was it part of a friendly hello/goodbye or jokey conversation? No.
Which leads me to the conclusion that it was planned and premeditated, there was a long enough silence before she said it for her to think, "Do I want to say this? yes I do." So she definitely means it. But in what context?... We have been getting on really well lately so maybe she does feel something and was trying to get me to reveal what I'm thinking or make a move, If I hadn't been so shocked I'd have made a move probably.. But alot of her behaviour doesn't fit with a girl who fancies me, she was talking about this guy and asking for advice.. and there are a couple of times when I've suggested meeting up and she's not taken the bait despite not being busy, plus times when we've been out and about and she's paid me noticably less attention than other people present..
I think the thing is neither of us is really sure what we want, and we're both seeing large chunks of what we want in the opposeite sex in each other, just not the whole picture.. I know she is a little too needy and neurotic than I'd like, and I think I'm not quite alpha male enough for her, but I dunno maybe I'm just being paranoid...
Anyway, when we were back inside the club she apologised for being tired and suggested she come over saturday evening for a quiet night in.. I know you're all thinking wahey you're in! But my flatmate (who is friends with her too) will be in, and she knows that.. so why didn't she just invite me over to hers? I dunno. Anyway this is the next time I'll be seeing her so we'll see what happens.