"I love you"

[md3sign]

Just curious what your thoughts are on this. Although I've [foolishly] thrown it out in the past, it's not something I've done or intend to do anytime soon. I have found it's better to show a girl how you feel about her rather than telling her. However, if involved in an LTR there will inevitably come a point when she says those words. And when she does, if you don't reciprocate, how do you proceed? The same as before?

A lesser version of this is a girl telling you she likes you. I learned not to say "I like you too" but rather show it through actions (depending on the setting/situation) and if they bug me about it like "why don't you tell me you like me" I just kiss em or give a little grin or something. Anyway, I'm curious about your thoughts on the subject, particularly those 3 words. Do you EVER say them??

 

[Vulpine]

I've never been a fan of vocalizing that crap. When women just spew that randomly, I've found that most often I respond with a smile, perhaps a hug, and a "Thank You." I pretty much leave it at that. Of course, I've gotten the "don't you love me, too?" and all that, but to that I reply: "You see me sitting here (laying here) with you, don't you? There's not much more to say."

"I love you." is a stupid sentance. It implies "I love AT you." as if they think their love is an arrow like cupid's that they can shoot at targets and render them theirs. It's a superficial love that's spoken, and far too many people don't recognize that love doesn't have much to do with words.

All those suck: "I respect you." "I trust you." "I like you." They are all hurled at you like a spear to have some sort of effect. "I respect at you." "I trust at you." "I like at you." They are aggressive just like "I spit on you."

To me, "I love you" just seems like fishing for compliments, or demanding compliance or validation. The sound of those words vocalized is irritating to me.

When worded differently, the effect is so much better. "I am in love with you." implies sharing something - I like that idea better than "getting loved at".

A woman told me: "I think I am in like with you." ...she got bonus points with me for that.

 

[Latinoman]

Te amo = I love you (as the love you feel for your wife or a woman that you truly love)


Te quiero = I "love" you (but in this case it relates more to the "I care for you" but "I'm not in love yet" type scenario).

That's why I love Spanish. Very clear and to the point.

Have I told women that I love them? Only to two people in my life I have done it. My wife and a 1+ year LTR. And only to 3 women (the two previously mentioned and my daughter).

 

[Vulpine]

Te amo = I love you (as the love you feel for your wife or a woman that you truly love)


Te quiero = I "love" you (but in this case it relates more to the "I care for you" but "I'm not in love yet" type scenario).

Really? I think translated, it's different than your translation, Latinoman.

"Amo" is the verb in "I" form, and it's subject is "Te". Again, it's really "I love (at) you."

Quiero, directly translated, is "I want". As in "Yo quiero Taco Bell". Now, I understand that "Te quiero" is an expression, but the way it was put to me was that it implied "wanting" or "yearning". Example: "I want you." implying "I want to be in love with you" or "I want more of you". But, my spanish teacher just told us to use it as you would "I like you a lot."

Blah... some things just don't translate well. Even in the same language.... "I love you." doesn't always seem to translate to just "I love you."

 

[lee36044]

Yup .... I have foolishly thrown those words around in the past! My opinion is it's a lot like an Eddie Murphy routine from raw! "when you fvck that woman so good that you hear that loud drawn out wheeeeeew ... you know you can do anything and she'll let you get away with it!"

When a man tells a woman loudly and often that he loves her, he's really saying "I give you permission to commmit any transgression you want because you mean more to me than my own self respect!"

Showing it on the other hand is never cause for disaster.

 

[Latinoman]

Really? I think translated, it's different than your translation, Latinoman.

"Amo" is the verb in "I" form, and it's subject is "Te". Again, it's really "I love (at) you."

Quiero, directly translated, is "I want". As in "Yo quiero Taco Bell". Now, I understand that "Te quiero" is an expression, but the way it was put to me was that it implied "wanting" or "yearning". Example: "I want you." implying "I want to be in love with you" or "I want more of you". But, my spanish teacher just told us to use it as you would "I like you a lot."

Blah... some things just don't translate well. Even in the same language.... "I love you." doesn't always seem to translate to just "I love you."

The "I want you" is a different context and in Spanish it translates to "Te deseo".

 

[Vulpine]

The "I want you" is a different context and in Spanish it translates to "Te deseo".

I see, thanks.

It's no small wonder they are referred to as "the feminine languages" or "the romantic languages". :crazy:

 

[azanon]

Showing it on the other hand is never cause for disaster.

I cant say i agree with this either in a lot of cases. That'd be the equilivant of showing her your hand in a game of poker.

I wouldnt show them much more than they show me. If you do, you're giving away power. I'm not a big fan of the "I love you" in any form, unless you're right on the brink of a definite LTR/marriage.

 

[Latinoman]

I cant say i agree with this either in a lot of cases. That'd be the equilivant of showing her your hand in a game of poker.

I wouldnt show them much more than they show me. If you do, you're giving away power. I'm not a big fan of the "I love you" in any form, unless you're right on the brink of a definite LTR/marriage.

I agree with you.

 

[Freddy1]

Same here. I agree too.

 

[lee36044]

I cant say i agree with this either in a lot of cases. That'd be the equilivant of showing her your hand in a game of poker.

I wouldnt show them much more than they show me. If you do, you're giving away power. I'm not a big fan of the "I love you" in any form, unless you're right on the brink of a definite LTR/marriage.

But that's not what was meant by showing your love is never a disaster! Never or rarely say it, show it only when deserved and reciprocated. And above all only show it if you really feel it strongly enough to go forward in a relationship. We are all supposed to be progressing as DJ's and one of the basic tenets is keep things in balance! So let me qualify the statement. If deserved, in keeping with DJ attitudes, and appropriate for the situation, showing your love is never a disaster.

Jeeeez! What did you guys think I meant? Show your love by showering her with gifts, attention, and neediness regardless of how she treats you just like any other AFC would?

 

[jophil28]

Hey Latinoman- How do you say( in a masculine DJ way) in Spanish, " I want you in my life " ??

 

[Aaron B]

I never, ever say it back.

I never, ever say it to end a phone conversation.

I have said it a few times to my wife, but only when I truly felt it at the time and it wasn't expected.

 

[azanon]

Jeeeez! What did you guys think I meant? Show your love by showering her with gifts, attention, and neediness regardless of how she treats you just like any other AFC would?

I didn't even focus on the "how", because I think its irrelevant. As already stated, if we're talking about those big three words (I love you), i'm against saying it or showing it in most every case. If you mean some more generic use of the word, then that's off topic.

 

[lee36044]

I didn't even focus on the "how", because I think its irrelevant. As already stated, if we're talking about those big three words (I love you), i'm against saying it or showing it in most every case. If you mean some more generic use of the word, then that's off topic.

Point taken! Some things are not easy to quantify no matter how many words you write so I'll leave it as it lies now.

 

[djbr]

That's why I love Spanish. Very clear and to the point.

I find it very funny. Plus the fact that native spanish speakers talk WAY too fast :crackup:

 

[white cloud 8]

each person is different in expressing their love for another, there is no "right" time, only when you feel it is time.