I love my LTR but have constant urges to fool around.

[Miles28]

Very interesting stuff.

Just to clarify - I do agree with those that have said men seek to pair bond. While it's great having the freedom of being single it can be lonely at times and I miss having a partner to talk to, share things with, etc.

However I was thinking in binary before - single and free to **** around or LTR and monogamous. It didn't even really occur to me that you could have the best of both worlds. I know for sure that with my last LTR there was no way I could have lead her on the kind of journey that Effort describes. But maybe the key to happiness is to find a woman that would be open to it. It's the only way to solve the conundrum of LTR and bored or single and lonely (to paraphrase Chris Rock).

Sir Psycho Sexy - when I said he had years to settle down I meant he still had years to find someone, eventually if that's what he chooses to do. Do you think a 36 or 37 year old guy would not be able to find a young, attractive girl to settle down with? I'd go much further and say I know guys in their 40's or even older who have hot, young girlfriends. The situation of course is different with the ticking of the biological clock, best before date, etc.

 

[Laszlo]

This is a good thread - I'm in the same situation as the author of this thread, however we've only been together for 1 year (6 months of those she was abroad).

This thread has answered some questions, but some new ones also arose. I've never cheated on my girlfriend, and frankly, I've never even been tempted to. I'm constantly attracted to all sorts of other women, every day, and it bugs me in a way - but I would never go and cheat on her. My way to cope with my lust is to go home and jerk it off, literally. And that helps - to some extent, but at the same time it still makes me feel guilty about it. A lot of times I've just been waiting for my GF to leave my apt, just so that I can jerk off and fantasize about some woman I saw earlier that day. Sh*t, just putting it down to words brings a lot of heavy guilt upon me.

Out relationship would be fine if she was ok with us having a sex lot less now, than when we met, but she's not, and I fear we're in the middle of a break up because of that. What I fear however, is not the breakup itself, but the fact that she actually is a great person, and an awesome girlfriend, and that those people don't come around very often - not in todays society. And that's what I'm so afraid of losing. And what's even worse is that most of the HBs out there are just so plain and fvcking stupid and ignorant, that I actually just prefer fantasizing about them, instead of having sex with them. In that way, I can at least picture them to be whatever I want them to, because when most of them open their mouths IRL, I just want to bang my head against a wall.

I don't know, maybe I'm just not going to the right places, but from my experience, the chances of hooking up with a smart girl, even just above average girl, is slim to non at night clubs and other social places. And the bottom line is, I don't even want to - the problem is that my attraction is spiking in the wrong direction, towards other girls than my gf - somewhere where I know I would never gain any long term happiness, and that is what is making me feel like I'm going through a really ****ty time right now, because I'm almost certain that the grass will not be greener than it is with this woman. But man, do I feel attracted to it. I don't know what to do.

 

[LegendaryGame]

the best setup is a girl who is down with you and other girls and shell play with the girls but will not do anything with other men. THis way, your relationship has a girl you can bond to and when you need another woman she'll go and find them and u have threesomes but no men. I am not down with a gf im in ltr with to do anything with another man. mentally, i dont want another dude hittin it. I think will smith and jada pinkett have a "swinger" relationship and thats what he attributes to his success whereas other marriages in hollywood flop

 

[Ragin_Asian]

We have agreed to a break. has allowed me to date other girls but she says she is not interested at doing so herself.

I have always been stricken with guilty everytime I pursue my own pleasure.

We have been constantly fighting as she been so busy I felt neglected under the same roof. So I wanted to break up but she wanted a temporary break to work things out.

 

[EFFORT]

We have agreed to a break. has allowed me to date other girls but she says she is not interested at doing so herself.

I have always been stricken with guilty everytime I pursue my own pleasure.

We have been constantly fighting as she been so busy I felt neglected under the same roof. So I wanted to break up but she wanted a temporary break to work things out.

enjoy your freedom don't feel guilty and start being authentic with the new girls that you meet from now on.

 

[Veridin]

Like others have said it is a normal urge. You are young, and it is best to have several sexual partners before you settle down. Now that you are on a break you can solve this problem, I hope.

 

[Ragin_Asian]

yea as of today got 2 numbers, couple of dates hooked up and goin random places etc.

 

[Ragin_Asian]

The problem is i am extremely clingy and require lots of attention. im not a brat, i just love my company.

this usually requires needing 5-6 gals on the side. when i was single its not uncommon for me to date 3 gals in one day. those were the good old days.

my main (and only) gives me most of what i need, but the urge for other puss-tang and a glimpse of sideb**bs gets me hot under the collar very easily