I lose all skills in person! HELP!!!

Rint

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I dont know wat it is, but when i get in person i'm terrible at socializing and getting girls, but on internet people think i'm really good, but in person i'm terrible. I watched myself as i worked and i noticed online i could like think it up really fast and easilly and sometimes i said wat i typed out loud to get a hang of it, but in person i lose it all. I act like it's my first time talking to someone. More women then guys. So in retaliation i pull out this fake me that acts really retarded. I have no clue wat to do. I'm not scared or anything i even try to be the real me, but it dousn't work. HELP!!!! I'm really close to DJism, but this is a big border in the way.
 

Ace of Flames

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How about everyone stop being so literal? I think chickenlegs was being sarcastic. He still could have said something helpful though.

On-topic: The more you do something, the better you get at it. You might be starting off pretty badly in person right now, but you have to keep trying, forcing yourself thru it. Eventually, you'll get better at it. There aren't any shortcuts or quick fixes for this, so don't look for one.
 

Randomer

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edited to keep the focus on the reason of this thread :)
 
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midas

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Rint - Start by talking to unattractive women and then work your way up when you think you've improved... And when these wankers stop with thier ego battles maybe they can put in a good word or two to help you out....Midas out!
 

Rint

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no offense, but i dont care whose a troll. Midas thank u for the advice, and could someone just help ME. I'm not trying to b greedy, but i did start this thread to get some help not to prove each other wrong and call people trolls.
 

Randomer

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Rint, not much to say if you have the stuff in your head, just gotta get out and practice man! No big secrets! You must know someone who you could hang out with and learn from for some real world experience... I'm sure that'd help way more than any post on here for you right now, seeing as how you know what to do but don't do it, it still seems you have doubts in your mind about stuff working for you. Basically I think the best thing for you to do would really be just seeing everything in action in real life right now
 
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I have the same problem. I've c&b two people I meet online where we had a stellar rapport online before we meet. You'd think that a 'relationship' would have even occured 'online' before we meet, but when we did meet it c&b badly. I have one girl I meet online that appears to have bonded with me.

The first c&b online date I was 'myself', had a 4 hour date with someone from out of town who came to visited me at a nice Hotel. She described it as a virtual boring time for her and said I made a couple of offensive comments. Since that time, an 'internal revolution' has occurred where structured dating and scripts would now be the norm on future online dates.

I've studied books to have memorised scripts/routines on first dates - but what I have conceretly done is to set brief coffee dates for people that I have meet online. For example, ALL first dates will now be at the cheapest coffee shop and not exceed 30-45 minutes, and at least half of the date would be scripted, the other half by the with convo aids.

Some of my own personal date conversation aids is to bring a good book to a date and read it before the date comes. Bring a book that's likely going to lead to a discussion - perhaps a book on an interesting issue, and it works wonders of helping to start a convo. You have normal fluff talk about weather, how she got there, stuff like that. After 15 minutes have passed then I jump to scripted routines and convo. Purpose of scripted convo is to get her thinking romantically or sexually by bring up romantic/sexual subjects of convo.

The second 'new' online meeting date I had from the internet, I used lines and stuff and had a 45 minute date. This girl complained she never got to knew me during this time, but compared to the last c&b, it was a success. She had an open door for a future date, or even to call her, but I just c&b it after with some nasty email correspondence anyway as I just folded on myself.

But, now I feel confident, that I can hold a first-date confidentally without putting my foot in my mouth, and by having some form of convo going up, and escalating to a romantic/sexual potential. The 'bondability' is missing sometimes with a 'scripted date', but at least I can hold my ground for a half hour or forty five minutes.
 

Ace of Flames

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Luke, I can't help but disagree with everything you are doing with those girls, yet I don't have an alternative to offer you. I guess the strict rules might be neccisary for you to get in the flow, per se, but as soon as possible, you want to get away from that. Its just so fake, it sickens me to hear you're even doing it. Please grow some confidence and develop better conversation skills quickly, so you can replace that disgusting routine you're using now.
 
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