I have the same problem. I've c&b two people I meet online where we had a stellar rapport online before we meet. You'd think that a 'relationship' would have even occured 'online' before we meet, but when we did meet it c&b badly. I have one girl I meet online that appears to have bonded with me.
The first c&b online date I was 'myself', had a 4 hour date with someone from out of town who came to visited me at a nice Hotel. She described it as a virtual boring time for her and said I made a couple of offensive comments. Since that time, an 'internal revolution' has occurred where structured dating and scripts would now be the norm on future online dates.
I've studied books to have memorised scripts/routines on first dates - but what I have conceretly done is to set brief coffee dates for people that I have meet online. For example, ALL first dates will now be at the cheapest coffee shop and not exceed 30-45 minutes, and at least half of the date would be scripted, the other half by the with convo aids.
Some of my own personal date conversation aids is to bring a good book to a date and read it before the date comes. Bring a book that's likely going to lead to a discussion - perhaps a book on an interesting issue, and it works wonders of helping to start a convo. You have normal fluff talk about weather, how she got there, stuff like that. After 15 minutes have passed then I jump to scripted routines and convo. Purpose of scripted convo is to get her thinking romantically or sexually by bring up romantic/sexual subjects of convo.
The second 'new' online meeting date I had from the internet, I used lines and stuff and had a 45 minute date. This girl complained she never got to knew me during this time, but compared to the last c&b, it was a success. She had an open door for a future date, or even to call her, but I just c&b it after with some nasty email correspondence anyway as I just folded on myself.
But, now I feel confident, that I can hold a first-date confidentally without putting my foot in my mouth, and by having some form of convo going up, and escalating to a romantic/sexual potential. The 'bondability' is missing sometimes with a 'scripted date', but at least I can hold my ground for a half hour or forty five minutes.