"I like you"

[Forty0ztoFreedom]

So I was talking to a buddy who is pretty good with getting girls. I mean he's not like super pick-up guy but he seems to do well when he wants to . . He told me he pretty much always tells hem "I like you."

To be honest sometimes if I'm in a good set and we're vibing/being playful . . this seems like a good move to build comfort, but I hold back so as not to lose 'the frame.' Remind me again why its a huge TABOO? I don't think I've ever gotten a girl when I was worried about the girl thinking I'm interested or not.

This other guy pretty much has no game. He just blatantly says whats on his mind concerning a girl. He tells them they're gorgeous, makes sexual comments, keeps pushing and pushing and pushing . . NEVER plays 'no-contact' or hard to get. He just PLOWS. The girl gets mad. Sometimes I CRINGE at what he says . . yet he gets @$$ and these girls do end up sticking around and talking to him.

 

[thecurtainfalls]

There are no hard and fast rules in this game. Stating your interest in a girl is good if done correctly and in a non needy-creepy way, but it's tough to pull off unless you know what you're doing.

 

[The Greek]

A very good PUA I follow says that most naturals seem to have three traits: Confidence, Pre-selection (many women in their life) and the ability to Sexually Escalate.

Being the prize seems like a good principle and mindset, but knowing when to escalate and certainly getting used to doing so is probably even more so.. I've certainly been experimenting with both extremes, and certainly the latter extreme is more succesful for me (expressing interest, sexually escalating, etc etc)

 

[Scars]

Question: How old are you and your friend? Are you both in High School? How old are the girls you are approaching?

In high school, if you are older or have any kind of social status you can get away with this. Most girls that age are a tad bit insecure. They haven't fully developed a defense system until they get older so they are completely vulnerable and running off of pure emotion, so saying cute things to them will work in your favor.

I would say he has good advice. But you will never hear me uttering those words ever, unless the girl said it first and was waiting for a response from me so I could get into her pants. An alternative is to say "I like you" but not verbally, say it with your eyes and body language. Your friend projects a sexual identity, he is flirty, confident, and not afraid to show his sexuality and that's why these girls love him. I would say stick with this guy. He is a natural. I learned a lot just from observing guys like this. You start reading material here and then you can watch it in action right before your eyes. You start to pick up on little things and it will tremendously help your game. You start to understand why things work, what to do in certain situations, how interested a girl is, how to raise attraction, comfort, and after awhile you can even get to the point where you notice when people start slipping up and identify where they went wrong. I've pulled the robbery a few times in my day, and it was all simply from observing some other poor guy fail. You just come in like a romeo.

 

[kingsam]

S
This other guy pretty much has no game. He just blatantly says whats on his mind concerning a girl. He tells them they're gorgeous, makes sexual comments, keeps pushing and pushing and pushing . . NEVER plays 'no-contact' or hard to get. He just PLOWS. The girl gets mad. Sometimes I CRINGE at what he says . . yet he gets @$$ and these girls do end up sticking around and talking to him.

this will often work in the short -term (esp with younger girls) - in the longer term it breeds:
indifference to him,
resentment,
no challenge for her,
no mystery about him
low respect for him, and so on...

 

[Nexus Polaris]

Honestly, the further you develop your own frame, the more you realize that nothing is really taboo as long as you do it from a position of power. All those rules about don't do this or don't do that are pretty much training wheels for someone who hasn't developed the proper mindset yet. They're just basic guidelines to keep you from reverting back to your AFC behavior in the beginning. But just like riding a bike, once you get better at it, you don't need those things anymore. You can get rid of them and you won't fall down.

 

[Forty0ztoFreedom]

Question: How old are you and your friend? Are you both in High School? How old are the girls you are approaching?

We're both mid-20's, the girls range anywhere from early to late 20's.

This guy doesn't "approach" anyone really. He does I guess what you'd call social group game . . meeting people through other people. He actually cannot approach. I've seen him try once and he basically gave up without doing one. But alas, he gets more @$$ than I do right now, and its all COMFORT and there is no fear of loss.

I should also elaborate that I'm referring to a time when you're really vibing with a girl. I wouldn't just tell some girl I have oneitus for that and expect it to work (though maybe its a good idea just to get that sh*t over with . . better to throw a hail mary than sit on the bench sweating?)

this will often work in the short -term (esp with younger girls) - in the longer term it breeds:
indifference to him,
resentment,
no challenge for her,
no mystery about him
low respect for him, and so on...

This guy DOES seem sleazy. But according to him, he can get ANY girl if he keeps this up. Its like eventually they just surrender. You never know if anyone's as good as they say, but if so, I would attribute this to just being completely nonreactive and just HAMMERING through sh*t tests . . Nothing gets to him.

Like what?

Complimenting t*ts, @$$ . . They'll act offended and then he just sheepishly asks "What??" And he keeps going.

The problem I see when it comes to MY game is I'm still playing TOO SAFE .. worried about coming off as AFC showing too much interest. Its hurting. I can't strike that balance with the correct amount of interest and not-giving-a-fvck.

 

[kingsam]

so how long does this guy last with these girls? ons? a few weeks? months? LTR?

 

[backbreaker]

Honestly, the further you develop your own frame, the more you realize that nothing is really taboo as long as you do it from a position of power. All those rules about don't do this or don't do that are pretty much training wheels for someone who hasn't developed the proper mindset yet. They're just basic guidelines to keep you from reverting back to your AFC behavior in the beginning. But just like riding a bike, once you get better at it, you don't need those things anymore. You can get rid of them and you won't fall down.

nail on the head

 

[thecurtainfalls]

The problem I see when it comes to MY game is I'm still playing TOO SAFE .. worried about coming off as AFC showing too much interest. Its hurting. I can't strike that balance with the correct amount of interest and not-giving-a-fvck.

One of the last pins to fall for me before I really started to "get it" was realizing that you don't need to hide your interest like in middle school.

This isn't something that should be confusing/frightening you. Just think about it logically.

There are two ways to show interest: in a way that subcommunicates that you are a socially intelligent person who can be discreet, but also direct and charming; or, in a way where you vomit your feelings everywhere or come off as socially inept or creepy.

As long as you're channeling your interest in the correct way, you can't really show "too much" interest, because the interaction has to come to a head at a certain point. If you're being direct, then sooner than later the interaction will end with one of two things: a date/kiss/fvck of some sort, or a rejection/LJBF.

Recently I've become a big big fan of escalating right off the bat. I used to try and fly in under the radar and stick in the comfort phase too long, but I grew tired of the extra games and effort without knowing where I really stood.

Making flirty comments and being slickly obvious about my intentions has yielded wayyyy better results. My advice is to default to action, because it will save you time and you come off as someone who knows what he wants and is not afraid to steer a course directly for success or bust - none of this friend zone crap.

 

[Forty0ztoFreedom]

That's what I've thought for a while. Maybe the hard-to-get-stuff works for some people, but when I get a girl, I just DON'T CARE. I don't care if she knows I want her or I'm interested. There's no fear. And the sh*t coming out of my mouth is GOLD. But when I start to think "OMG I can't let her know" I go into my head, and I leave her or stop contacting, I get WEIRD and . . Poof. Gone. Every fvcking time.

so how long does this guy last with these girls? ons? a few weeks? months? LTR?

He just gets play, and stays friends with them. He's had LTR's. Most of them are hippies . . and promiscuous (ie, I know of others who've gotten them too), but hell, thats most girls, and I can't say 'I'm' getting them.

Truth is, I think before in my "AFC" days, there was fear. I was afraid of getting blown out or creeping a girl out . . thats why we go 'under-the-radar' as the 'friend' and listen to her problems and supplicate, hoping she some day gets it and turns around. Now, you get into this, and the SYMPTOMS go away, but the CAUSE (the fear) is still there . . and it twists what you learn into just another defense mechanism.

 

[thejerk]

...

 

[thejerk]

But when I start to think "OMG I can't let her know" I go into my head, and I leave her or stop contacting, I get WEIRD and . . Poof. Gone. Every fvcking time.




Truth is, I think think think think

And that is really the problem. You think way too much and it ****s with your ability to just chill out and enjoy the moment.

 

[Forty0ztoFreedom]

True dat, man.

I need to just let it flow and trust myself.