the post is well written, and generally i find pook insightful, but i think this particular post is way off in left
field - FOUL BALL!
pook, for whatever the reason, is trying to be a broker between the sexes in this post (as a result i think this
post is more rhetoric than substance). he's over extending logic via a well written analogy to create false points
of common experience - ie. men and women are truly equal just that we operate in different spheres that cause us to
misunderstand each other.
i mean, really its just the "men are from mars and women are from venus argument", although written more eloquently.
an argument which, i believe, is 100% bullsh*t.
but first let me tell you why the argument is appealing - why it 'feels' like it makes sense.
it feels like it makes sense because men desperately want to find a way to 'understand' women (becuase they want
women in their lives). so this paradigm of framing 'emotion' as just another form of 'logic' seems appealing. women
aren't 'irrational', its simply a different 'perspective' - a sphere if you will.
but the REALITY is that there is NOT two spheres based on gender. there is a spectrum based on rationality.
MANY women - as a result of behavior and societal conditioning, and potentially due to hormonal factors as well -
tend to occupy the less rational end of the spectrum - the emotive end.
many men occupy this area as well! criminals, rapists, AFCs, etc. - these are all men who are ruled first by their emotions and secondly by the rational thought.
there are also women who occupy the higher end of the spectrum and are rational thinkers - these are typically quality women.
now erroneously people will assume that if you are highly rational that you therefore unemotive. which is completely
false. you are APPROPRIATELY emotive. which means you don't make mountains out of mole hills, you seek balance in
your relationships and you don't take every little thing someone says or does as a negative judgement of you.
in this paradigm i advise men to BETTER themselves - learn to control your emotive responses nad learn to think
rationally.
men who are able to do so (as well as women) drastically increase their odds of 1) being able to spot a high quality
woman 2) enjoying their life even when the going gets tough 3) figuring out what they really want in life and 4)
staying the course and successfully growing their careers and relationships.
nothing will do as much damage to your life as the inability to focus as a result of being unable to control your
emotions.
but anyway, back to the main topic.
the other reason pooks posts feels like it makes sense is the POWER behind being unreasonable! think about that for
a second.
theres a reason kids throw temper tantrums when they dont get what they want. because it helps them get it! its the
only tactic they can apply against a stronger advisary - its the victim / *****ing / annoy you to death tactic.
"i'll become such a pain in your *ss that you'll give me what i want just to shut me up - no matter how unreasonable
it is."
theres a reason terrorists suicide bomb places, because it makes people afraid and gives them power - and in the
long-term game sometimes gets them what they want. [theres also a reason why governments never give in to terrorists. becuase if you do it only encourages more terrorists to attack you).
you see, being unreasonable is a VERY common tactic in life. its NOT logic though. its anti-logic. its craftiness.
its manipulation. its bullying. its most often what i call creating a LOSE LOSE scenario and hoping that your opponent will cave.
now pooks post feels like it makes sense because most guys don't want to accept that things can really be this bad.
that the tactic most used against them is this LOSE LOSE one - after all, who wants to face a lose lose scenario,
you CANT win!
wouldn't it just be easier to reframe it as you simply have a different frame of reference from this other person?
and that the key to common ground is each better understanding each others frame of reference?
in a perfect world yes, this would be great. in the real world though, your only options in a LOSE LOSE scenario is
to either give in and live to fight another day, or walk away.
women know this and women use non-logical / emotive tactics for this exact reason!
but notice hwo they tend NOT to use it during the initial phases of the relationship. in the beginning they serve up
all the p*ssy you can eat. they get you hooked. THEN they lay the smack down on you. THEN they start pulling out the
emotional tactics - throwing tantrums, criticizing you that you dont care enough, etc.
sure, this two spheres theory will help you cope with your woman's irrational behavior. kind of like saying 'oh
timmy is just going through his terrible twos, just ignore him' - have a frame of reference helps you ignore or
excuse bad behavior. but it doesn't make your life better.
what makes your life better is learnign and understanding what APPROPRIATE and ACCEPTABLE behavior is for BOTH
genders!
what worries me about pook's sphere theories is that any AFC reading that is going to start thinking 'oh wait, maybe
Sally isn't being a b*tch. i just don't understand her frame of reference."
Bullsh*T.
if you're getting treated poorly it has nothing to do with you not understanding the female sphere. the only thing
it has to do with is that another human being, male or female, is treating you like crap because you are letting
them!
lastly, i'll say this much as well...
most women reading pook's post would agree with what he's said. their response woudl be 'EXACTLY! we are just as
smart and logical as men, we just express it differently. we aren't being irrational, we're just valuing emotion
more than they do and they just dont get it."
ya ya ya, blah blah blah. that sh*t comes out of 90% of women now a days.
and you know why i don't buy it one bit?
i've known a number of women in my life who were decent women, who thought JUST like this. and no matter what you ever said to them, they would always brush off any different views as men simply not understanding emotion.
but then life hit them like a ton of bricks. they had various hardships befall them and couldn't cope. thats when they were willing to listen. and when they did listen, and STOPPED trying to deal with their problems using emotion, but rather dealt with things reasonably, rationally, etc. - they got through.
woman 'logic' if you want to call it that, doesnt work. it works as long as a man is in the picture or nothing too stressful in life happens.
moreover, i know a number of high quality women who are 10x as critical of your average woman that i am! they trasht hem for being manipulative, irrational, etc. and cut them NO slack. I at least factor in social conditioning and hormones - whereas their peers don't cut them any slack!
and the number one reason we have this f*cking mess on our hands out there in the world is because men, out of part ignorance part just wanting to get laid regularly, have bought in to this idiotic notion that emotion is the same as logic.
thats why so many guys are completely blind to the fact that they are dealing with a compelely irrational woman and try to be captain save a ho - and get nothing but a knife in the back for all their efforts.
assess ALL humans, men and women, based on how reasonable, rational and in control of their emotions they are. its how you'll find good friends, good jobs and good women.
like i say, i think this two spheres stuff is off in left field. but hey, if it helps you feel 'better' about women, and therefore more apt to let women in to your life - i suppose that's something. To me its almost like using AFC traits to get women though - it will work, but the long term outcome won't be very good.
