I KISS CLOSED! ...and Nick's new reason for being here

[Nicholas Hill]

"An example to aspiring British DJs"

I forgot who said that oh so long ago, but I surely am greatful for that comment. After this past week, I think I'm a little closer to becoming a full DJ.

So I'm going to give you guys a report about the events from last Friday to today (Friday 16th May, 2003).

Last Friday I met an American (North Carolina) girl called Allison and I noticed she was a bubbly girl. I was near a pub at the time with some friends and my friends knew her but I didn't so I took the liberty of doing so.

She was interested in learning the Welsh language so I gave her a quick lesson and she asked me for my phone number at the end, and my email address etc, which took its place inside a book she was keeping, that had about a million other email addresses and phone numbers.

No problems.

Tuesday came, when we were having a Christian Union meeting in the Univerisity and she arrived (although a little late) and after the meeting I encouraged her to come with us to the pub, and she did.

I wrote a message in her book this time, the "Nick page" where I described events that she did on Friday, Saturday...etc up until WEDNESDAY, which would be "tommorow" since at this time it is Tuesday night. In it I wrote

"Wednesday: You meet me at 2:45 on FHS for a walk along the seafront"

She smiled and said "sure!". I knew at this point one of her main objectives is to see as much of Wales as she could before she left for her home town in America, which would be on the coming MONDAY. Remember: it's TUESDAY, I've made a date for WEDNESDAY, and she leaves on MONDAY.

(By the way, FHS means Fulton House Steps, the large steps to the main university building and is a common place)

What concerns me is this: She went up to some other guys she didn't know and asked them out in front of me! Although I should have expected this maybe because of her personality, I did get a pen and write on the back of a piece of paper the words "Stop being so stupid, Nick" just to remind myself this is all weird.

But, still no problems yet.

I calculated that I would give her the curtosey date and I met her more or less on time by the steps, and we went on a boat in a pond that is next to the Pub, that is next to the University and we talked for a while.

When we finished that, we started walking. Things started getting interesting when we were on a pavement (about 5 minutes after the boat trip) and I placed my hand down to her side and she enveloped hers within mine, and I showed no resistance of course and we started holding hands.

Isn't it the most amazing thing when that happens? That single moment you realise that this attraction is going both ways?

I loved how suave I was throughout the day (but only up to a certain point, and I'll tell you all about that very soon).

I'd like to cut a long segment of this story short and just get to the point where, after about two hours of walking a one-hour journey, we stopped where it was relatively quiet.

On the way there, I did stop once before but didn't think that this was the right moment to go for anything big. Just didn't feel it.

I also met the girl I REALLY wanted to kiss, Bethan (you can read about her in one of my recent previous threads). She warmed up to me quite incredibly when she saw us holding hands... She was on a bike and just passing but we talked for a while. Allison (remember, she's the girl I'm with!) knew Bethan too.

So, we're alone, we've stopped, and we turn to look at the ocean tide that has come in to its fullness. I love my timing skills.

It was warm and I put my arm around her and held her, she did exactly the same. I put my head onto hers and just looked at the ocean.

I was looking for the right way to go about kissing a girl in this situation, because I had only kissed TWO GIRLS before this (all in the past year!! Thank you sosuave).

She said this was a nice moment, because she realised she was going to go home from a nice place after so long, and she said she was about to cry. I encouraged her not to do so and she then said I have really nice eyes. They're blue. I asked her to let me look at hers and I said "yours are blue too". I then went in for the kiss, and liked it when she approved and obliged.

Went for an ice cream, and this is the normal time I would end the date but I decided to let her come with me and my friends because my friends were out tonight and my original plan was to go with them. We finished our ice cream, got on a bus, and arrived in the town centre to meet my friends.

I introduced my girl Allison to the friends and she blended in really well and got to know them.

Everything went well up to this point. Remember that.

We all went bowling, but I was terrible at it and kept making that particular comment. I forgot Allisons' last name (she didn't like that!) and birthdate. There was the odd one or two bits that were good. I applied kino throughout the night. We all ended up back at the university pub.

We had significant problems at the very end. My friends had gone home and I needed to get home too by alternate means, so I asked Allison for a kiss just before she got on the bus and she whispered "I'm not comfortable kissing in public", I of course was confused but mumbled "OK" and she gave me a quick one on the lips and got on her bus home while I started to make my own way.

Things didn't look good for me that night and I thought things were over.

Nonetheless, we already made plans to meet the next day (THURSDAY, which from my perspective of writing this is YESTERDAY) at 2:45 again. I went into university to get Ball tickets for the midsummer ball and saw her, hugged her (thats all) and went inside. Didn't talk to her much, got the tickets and met her, again, more or less on time.

She said she could only spend about fifteen minutes with me, but we ended up spending 25 having coffee and hot chocolate (I had the coffee) in the coffee shop in Taliesin in University.

Extremely limited kino this time. Almost nothing, but we did have a nice conversation. She mentions something about being worried that all my previous girlfriends were not my friends after all and she was concerned that the same would happen to us. Previously, we had told each other about ex-girlfriends and boyfriends and I slipped out that I had had three in the past year, she had had only one other in her life. I have no problem with that.

However, you may want to consider the fact that she has her last exam today, and she had to work a lot to finish it as it was a takeaway exam. This may have contributed to her less-than-bubbly attitude that day, which, if you remember, was THURSDAY (Yesterday from my writing perspective).

So, what day is it today? It's Friday.

I will see her tonight as we have made plans to go to a play but not together. Me and my friends are all together but Allison got her tickets a lot sooner, and we just happen to be seeing the play on the same day.

Are we still girlfriend and boyfriend? I don't think so but I really don't know to be honest. This would be the third time in a row, and only three girls as well, in which I've had ONE DAY RELATIONSHIPS. It ticks me off, so my new reason for being here at sosuave is not to learn how to attract girls, because I seem to be able to do that quite well by now, but I really need to know HOW TO KEEP THEM.

Please guys, you've read this. Any insight?

Seven and a half thousand letters. Wow.

Nick

 

[Cesare Cardinali]

It is very hard to keep women when you are not f*cking them. I would say it is impossible, quite frankly. You can have all the game in the world, but they will walk away unless they are getting plowed regularly.

I know that this advice is falling on deaf ears Nicholas because you are intent on remaining a virgin. However, you should consider that by the time you are in your mid to late twenties, and still a virgin, the women you will be dating would have had sex hundreds of times (even if it was just with one or two LTR people) and they will not put up with this virgin stuff at all, and you won't be able to keep any of them. Also, when you do finally have sex with a woman, you'll suck in bed. And you'll have to work on that for a very long time until you are up to par with what chicks have been used to.

Finally, it is very hard to give off a sexual aura, which is what women respond to, when you are not a sexual person.

IMO, you've got to be going in for the kill if you want to keep women satisfied and happy for as long as you want.

 

[Oscar Wilde]

Wow.

Nick, you seem like a really nice guy!

Oscar.

 

[whoami]

if u don't want to be Lover then don't act as one...
Nice Guy.... hmmm i think oscar is right on this... u already met like 4 times with her n No sex not even make out??
you can delay the things but.....
WhoAmI

 

[Quick]

She's leaving on Monday, and you don't even want to bang her? What do you expect to get out of being with her then? There's a limit to how emotionally attached two people can get in a week. You're not going to have sex, you're not going to have a relationship, and you're not even sure of where you two stand. Forget about it, it's a lost cause. In a real 1 week fling, you would know exactly where you stand, would be ****ing every night, and would be spending all your time together.

The two of you were never boyfriend and girlfriend. You spent a little time together and had a kiss. A relationship cannot happen in one day. You would have been better off to tell her that you've had no girlfriends, because that would have been more accurate, and she would have understood that you weren't still friends because you guys were never that close.

On a positive note, this episode should help you to get Bethan if you play your cards right.

 

[Matt Rogers]

If this girl is Christian, as Nicholas is, then I do not think this is the limiting factor. She is going back to America, and probably is not thinking about relationships, and just wants some fun while she is in Wales.

 

[Oscar Wilde]

Originally posted by Matt Rogers
If this girl is Christian, as Nicholas is, then I do not think this is the limiting factor. She is going back to America, and probably is not thinking about relationships, and just wants some fun while she is in Wales.

Now that's more to the point.

She wants a man.

Sorry Nick, it's harsh.

 

[TheCloser]

Okay man, you aren't girlfriend/boyfriend. I would do a little experiment since you seem like such a nice guy. Ignore her on Friday and don't go out with her...see what that does to the attraction level and you might learn more for next time.

 

[Nicholas Hill]

Guys I don't understand why all these harsh responses?

Allison is a Christian like me, so sexuality isn't part of the equation here! Can you accept that fact for JUST THIS ONE GIRL?

I'm reading "harsh" stuff without knowing what I did wrong, nor knowing what (more importantly) I did right.

Tsk tsk!

Nick

 

[thissucks003]

Cesare:It is very hard to keep women when you are not f*cking them. I would say it is impossible, quite frankly. You can have all the game in the world, but they will walk away unless they are getting plowed regularly


Right on!

Another thing Nick, no matter what you try to do: touch, kiss, feel up, f*ck, etc... always take it a step further. You will be surprised how far you can get if you go for it. So if you think that a kiss is too much, it's not. Go for more. Always go for more.

TS

 

[Oscar Wilde]

ok, I said "harsh", cos I think she wanted to have more of a fling than you are prepared to give her, therefore she aint gonna be picking you.

However, I didn't realise she was a serious Christian too, so I guess that puts the balls up in the air again.

Still, I believe that you are being naive and too much of a Nice Guy here.

There's some good comments here, particularly Quicks last.

I do hope you've realised that you need to start forgetting about Girl A, and working on Girl B(ethan). If you havent realised that yet then maybe one of the other guys can verbalise it better than Quick could, I know I can't.

Give us more info, maybe we can help more.

 

[BGMan]

Hey Nick,

Congrats! And rats, buddy, you beat me to it (the kiss close)! I don't think it will get anywhere, since long distance relationships are pretty much pointless in my estimation, but hey, you got some practice and you had a nice little "fling"! Way to go!

And as to Cesare Cardinali, yeah, I'm like Nick here in that I want to remain a virgin until marriage, and as far as I'm concerned, it's much better than being roasted in an eternal blowtorch after death. And, if a girl dumps me because I refuse to have sex with her, then I don't want her anyway.

I also suspect you're arguing from total ignorance. You probably have never said no to sex to any girl you found attractive. However, saying no to sex is also the ultimate neg hit, the ultimate challenge. "What? I know this guy is abstinent, but I thought it was because he never had the chance. But he actually turned me down?! I thought he was into me!" I thought women were most into a guy when they don't know that they "have him"? I suppose with sex these rules go totally out the door!

In addition to which, this is the #1 reason I don't believe in "committed relationships" except engagement and marriage, and will be seeing multiple women right up to the time I decide to pick one to marry. A "girlfriend" is nothing more than an illegitimate wife.

Croikes!

BGMan

 

[Oscar Wilde]

Originally posted by BGMan
And as to Cesare Cardinali, yeah, I'm like Nick here in that I want to remain a virgin until marriage, and as far as I'm concerned, it's much better than being roasted in an eternal blowtorch after death. And, if a girl dumps me because I refuse to have sex with her, then I don't want her anyway.

I also suspect you're arguing from total ignorance. You probably have never said no to sex to any girl you found attractive. However, saying no to sex is also the ultimate neg hit, the ultimate challenge. "What? I know this guy is abstinent, but I thought it was because he never had the chance. But he actually turned me down?! I thought he was into me!" I thought women were most into a guy when they don't know that they "have him"? I suppose with sex these rules go totally out the door!

In addition to which, this is the #1 reason I don't believe in "committed relationships" except engagement and marriage, and will be seeing multiple women right up to the time I decide to pick one to marry. A "girlfriend" is nothing more than an illegitimate wife.

Croikes!

BGMan

Your argument to remain a virgin is your fear of punishment? If true, that in itself is very sad, and speaks volumes about your religion.

I agree with your actions, if not your religious motivation for those actions - damn right you don't have to sleep with the girls, and you're correct in that they shouldn't not want to "date" you because of that. Just don't expect a girlfriend who is not of the same fundamentalist belief system as you (I don't mean the term "fundamentalist in any offensive way, the dictionary definition is: "fundamentalism : a movement or attitude stressing strict and literal adherence to a set of basic principles")

Best wishes.

Osc.

 

[BGMan]

Originally posted by Oscar Wilde
Your argument to remain a virgin is your fear of punishment? If true, that in itself is very sad, and speaks volumes about your religion.

If you're going to jump all over that, then I should say that this is only part of it. It's also doing something that offends God that I just don't like. I could of course confess my sins to a priest and do a penance and then I'm all fine and dandy, but I still am not going to have premarital sex.

But that wasn't the point of my post. My intent was not to turn this into a thread on religion and instead emphasize how withholding sex to women makes a man more desired and respected, rather than the opposite which is what Cesare Cardinali claims.

BGMan

 

[Oscar Wilde]

Originally posted by BGMan

But that wasn't the point of my post. My intent was not to turn this into a thread on religion and

Yes, and I apologise for taking it off topic.

Originally posted by BGMan

instead emphasize how withholding sex to women makes a man more desired and respected, rather than the opposite which is what Cesare Cardinali claims.

Respectfully, I disagree - your argument is flawed.

You say that "withholding sex makes a man more desired". This is admitting that sex is one of the desired things in a man.

But if you withhold that desire from the woman she will evenually become frustrated and seek to fulfill her desire elsewhere which is why your argument fails in the real world.

I see your point - you are weeding out the ones who don't pass this test. Fair enough, send them on to me.

Yes, one part of your argument is correct - it does make you more respected.

I hope you enjoy the respect, because that's all you'll receive from a girl who leaves you to go and find a man who can satisfy her desires.

I believe that you're a Nice Guy (the same of Nick above), you gotta be careful you don't get LJBFd.


Edited to avoid bumping the thread once more

Osc.

 

[gt95ab]

I just wanted to reply and tell Nick and BGman to forget the negative comments and LIVE YOUR OWN life according to your own rules and don't listen to other people who are telling you that it would be better for YOU to live YOUR life some other way.

Most people in life don't own up to there OWN TRUE sexual identity, which abstinence is a perfectly valid form of. Gentlemen, you should always live your life according to what you think will fufill it, and if that is no sex until marriage, or boning as many women as possible, then more power to both of you. So all you virgin haters can go and get a life, your own life that is.

The ethical DJ - gt95ab

 

[Oscar Wilde]

Yeah, I guess it's a little pointless getting into this discussions in the first place.

gt, don't assume that because someone has different opinions that automatically they "hate" those with that opinion.

 

[BGMan]

Originally posted by Oscar Wilde
But if you withhold that desire from the woman she will evenually become frustrated and seek to fulfill her desire elsewhere which is why your argument fails in the real world.

I see your point - you are weeding out the ones who don't pass this test. Fair enough, send them on to me.

Yes, one part of your argument is correct - it does make you more respected.

I hope you enjoy the respect, because that's all you'll receive from a girl who leaves you to go and find a Man who can satisfy her desires.

You're a Nice Guy.

Osc.

Except for that last little ad hominem attack at the end, I think we're square. However, there are some women out there who can control themselves, and it is they whom I'm aiming for.

If refusing to have sex makes me a "Nice Guy" in your book, then so be it. However, in my definition of "Nice Guy", you're being wildly inaccurate.

BGMan

 

[Nicholas Hill]

T

Originally posted by gt95ab
I just wanted to reply and tell Nick and BGman to forget the negative comments and LIVE YOUR OWN life according to your own rules and don't listen to other people who are telling you that it would be better for YOU to live YOUR life some other way.

Most people in life don't own up to there OWN TRUE sexual identity, which abstinence is a perfectly valid form of. Gentlemen, you should always live your life according to what you think will fufill it, and if that is no sex until marriage, or boning as many women as possible, then more power to both of you. So all you virgin haters can go and get a life, your own life that is.

The ethical DJ - gt95ab

Thanks man!

What is my plan? To attract women successfully, not primarily for sex.

In school I struggled quite a bit with friends, girls and confidence, and this is why I'm working on those aspects.

I'm ten times more confident, I have hundreds of friends and am getting more successful with attracting women.

We get what we aim for, aye?

 

[Cesare Cardinali]

First of all, Nicholas Hill was asking how to keep women attracted to him. Hence, I replied with the way I know best. To keep women attracted, you've got to be sexual and have game. You've got to exude sexuality and you've got to satisfy them sexually. If you plow them often, they will fall in love and you'll be able to keep them around.

I don't give a f*ck about fundamentalist Christian stuff, nor do I care about people's fears of roasting over hot coals because they take pleasure in having a healthy and ACTIVE sex life. This is a website for meeting, attracting, seducing, and having relationships with women, if I want to learn about roasting over hot coals, then I'll go to some Christian site.

However, since I'm going to burn in the eternal blowtoarch ANYWAY, then I met as well have some fun on the way down....so, away we go....

Originally posted by BGMan:

And as to Cesare Cardinali, yeah, I'm like Nick here in that I want to remain a virgin until marriage, and as far as I'm concerned, it's much better than being roasted in an eternal blowtorch after death.

Dude, then you're at the wrong website and discussion group. If you want to attract women which is not the same as "being respected by them", then telling them crap like the above will not help. And quite frankly, not many women will respect a guy who won't want to make love to them because of such a fear.

Also, what does that say about your feelings towards the woman?

BGMan: "Sorry honey, I can't have sex with you because I'll roast in flames with you for an eternity if we do it, I don't care if YOU roast in flames you perverted sick animal, but I certianly don't want to. But I know you'll respect me so much now, because I gave you the ultimate neg hit".

Is this how you attract and keep women?

Nicholas Hill wants to know HOW TO KEEP THE WOMEN ATTRACTED. Can you help him with that?

Originally posted by BGMan:

I also suspect you're arguing from total ignorance. You probably have never said no to sex to any girl you found attractive. However, saying no to sex is also the ultimate neg hit, the ultimate challenge.

Do you even know what a neg hit is? Because what you describe above certainly isn't one. Please clarify how telling a woman who wants to have sex with you, that you are abstinent because of a fear that you will roast over hot coals is a Neg Hit. She will think you are closed minded and she will be annoyed that you think SHE will roast over hot coals while you go home and jerk off.

Also, have YOU ever had a woman even want to have sex with you let alone you turning her down because of your fear of the eternal blowtorch? If so, then please tell us HOW you have attracted her to the point of her wanting to have sex with you, and making her intentions explicitely known, and tell us how YOU were able to turn her down and still keep her attracted in you. This would certainly help Nicholas. Do tell...

Originally posted by BGMan:

My intent was.... to emphasize how withholding sex to women makes a man more desired and respected, rather than the opposite which is what Cesare Cardinali claims.

Have you actually experienced this? Please share the experiences if you have. Also, how long do you think this would work for?

Yes, I have withheld sex before and the chicks like it alot, if you are on the first few dates and say that it's still too soon for sex, they will swoon. But this only works for about 2 weeks and then they need to start getting plowed regularly.

If you think that a chick over nineteen years old will stick around after 6 months of you holding out then you're even more deluded than I thought.

Women are sexual! You can't fight it. Women are sexual first, religious second or third or whatever.

If you have experience keeping women around while not having sex with them, then please share it since this is what Nicholas wants to learn. If not, then don't jump down my throat and claim that I'll burn in hell just because I'm suggesting something that doesn't fit with your viewpoint of the world. And BTW, just because a woman SAYS she is a fundamentalist Christian, it doesn't mean she doesn't enjoy getting plowed by guys like Oscar Wild and myself. She won't tell you and Nicholas Hill about it on the honeymoon night because you guys won't even know the difference between a tight virgin and a wild sex kitten, so she'll be able to keep her dirty little secrets...hehehehe.

Originally posted by Oscar Wild:

if you withhold that desire from the woman she will evenually become frustrated and seek to fulfill her desire elsewhere which is why your argument fails in the real world.

Exactly right dude.

Originally posted by Oscar Wild:

I hope you enjoy the respect, because that's all you'll receive from a girl who leaves you to go and find a man who can satisfy her desires.

Right on again Oscar. In fact, I would go so far as to say that respect does not really have much to do with attraction. Women can respect the nerdy guy who studies and does well in school and not respect the bad boy party animal guy. But which one gets her panties wet, which one will she want to be sleeping with?

Respect is fine and ideally you want everyone to respect you for who you are and what you do, however, when it comes to attracting chicks and keeping them attracted, I don't see how not fulfilling their sexual desires will attract them.

Also, do any of you guys have any idea how SH*T you will be in bed once you do finally have sex at like 28 years old?

Pleasing a woman sexually is not something that can be learned over night, and you'll have a tremendous amount of work to do when your women have been used to being f*cked hard and good for 10 years by dudes like myself and Oscar Wild before settling down and marrying you.

-Cesare Cardinali