I keep waking up at night

[Swashbuckler]

I don't even know what to do. There's a girl who, like tonight, keeps up at night and makes me feel terrible because she isn't mine. I've felt this way for over a year, and I can't stop it.

We've been on countless dates and spent a lot of time together, but we're both in this mindset of we don't need relationships, and she has a boyfriend who she hardly sees and doesn't have sex with; he was just there for her when her father died.

Last May, she asked me to move in with her, and I initially accepted, but it ultimately fell through from her funding from grants, while I was in France none the less, and I had to move out of my current place a week after I returned to the US.

I've tried to move on. I've dated other women. I'm about to go to France with another girl for 18 days, but I can't stop thinking about this one girl. It's been like this every night for a year. I wake up, pissed and hurt.

She talked to me a month ago about how she could see us together in 3-5 years, but she didn't indulge as she turned bright red and quit talking. She diverts my every attempt to categorize us as friends or more. She accidentally sent me a text while I was with her that she intended to send to her friend, telling her friend that she was out with me. Apparently, her friend has a thing for me. However, her friend is a little annoying.

I haven't seen her since because of finals and work. She texted me last Thursday to go play pool, but she canceled because a friend called and was in town. At the bottom of the text was, "How was your turkey day?" I didn't respond because I'm not going to respond to a question my dental hygienist would pose.

I don't know what to do. I'm sick of waking up at night and feeling like this. I've done everything to move on. I mean I'm going to France in two weeks with a beautiful, smart girl who begged me to take her. It's just her and I in France staying at a beautiful hotel in Paris and then at my brother's apartment in a smaller city for 18 days. I've crushed 2 girls hearts when I broke up with them because after a month I realize their not this girl, and I don't want to settle. One of the girls stalked me for about a month after I broke up with her. She sent me texts all day everyday, to no response, but she insisted on continuing.

What should I do? I can't just go to her and be like: I love you. I don't know how to approach this situation. She's flaked on me the last two times, but she always jokes with me about her flaking problems; it's kind of just who she is as much as I hate it and she knows.

Bah, I'm in a pickle.

 

[SchoolBoy]

I don't even know what to do. There's a girl who, like tonight, keeps up at night and makes me feel terrible because she isn't mine. I've felt this way for over a year, and I can't stop it.

It confuses me as to why you didn't make a move on this woman already. You've felt this way about her for a year and haven't done anything about it. That is a fail.

We've been on countless dates and spent a lot of time together, but we're both in this mindset of we don't need relationships, and she has a boyfriend who she hardly sees and doesn't have sex with; he was just there for her when her father died.

On you "countless dates" have you F closed her at all? If you haven't, then why the hell are you going on these "dates" with her if you can even call them "dates". She says she doesn't need a relationship, but yet she has a boyfriend? I think you're in a world of delusion buddy. What she means is she doesn't need a relationship with "you".

Last May, she asked me to move in with her, and I initially accepted, but it ultimately fell through from her funding from grants, while I was in France none the less, and I had to move out of my current place a week after I returned to the US.

I've tried to move on. I've dated other women. I'm about to go to France with another girl for 18 days, but I can't stop thinking about this one girl. It's been like this every night for a year. I wake up, pissed and hurt.

You got a serious case of oneitis. My advise is to forget her, she already has you wrapped around her fingers emotionally. And sounds like you're pretty far up in the friend's zone.

She talked to me a month ago about how she could see us together in 3-5 years, but she didn't indulge as she turned bright red and quit talking. She diverts my every attempt to categorize us as friends or more. She accidentally sent me a text while I was with her that she intended to send to her friend, telling her friend that she was out with me. Apparently, her friend has a thing for me. However, her friend is a little annoying.

Her saying she sees you guys together in 3-5 years doesn't make it true. You can't put a timer on relationships. Her actions already show she's not interested in a relationship with you. To make it simple, if she wanted to be with you, she'll be with you, not later but right now.

I haven't seen her since because of finals and work. She texted me last Thursday to go play pool, but she canceled because a friend called and was in town. At the bottom of the text was, "How was your turkey day?" I didn't respond because I'm not going to respond to a question my dental hygienist would pose.

So she made plans with you AND then cancelled on you? Major IOD and also disrespect.

I don't know what to do. I'm sick of waking up at night and feeling like this. I've done everything to move on. I mean I'm going to France in two weeks with a beautiful, smart girl who begged me to take her. It's just her and I in France staying at a beautiful hotel in Paris and then at my brother's apartment in a smaller city for 18 days. I've crushed 2 girls hearts when I broke up with them because after a month I realize their not this girl, and I don't want to settle. One of the girls stalked me for about a month after I broke up with her. She sent me texts all day everyday, to no response, but she insisted on continuing.

Here's what you SHOULD do, cut contact with her, never talk to her again, and move on with your life. Stop feeling like this girl is the only one for you. Your case of oneitis for her is distrupting your life and it needs to stop.

What should I do? I can't just go to her and be like: I love you. I don't know how to approach this situation. She's flaked on me the last two times, but she always jokes with me about her flaking problems; it's kind of just who she is as much as I hate it and she knows.

There are no excuses for flaking. I don't care if she says she has a flaking problem. Stop trying to defend her by saying "it's kind of who she is". That's AFC talk for giving excuses. She flakes because she has low interest in YOU, as she may not flake with someone who she is interested and attracted to.

You think she'll flake on Brad Pitt??

Bah, I'm in a pickle.

Be a man and move on from this girl. Do no contact and keep it that way.

 

[The Piano Master]

Sounds like a romantic film without a Hollywood ending. Move on, bro.

 

[Swashbuckler]

You guys are f'n right. God, I need to move the **** on. She's just a HB 9 who knows what to say. I fell for her so hard because while I was ending a relationship; she gave me her number. She was the one who wanted to hang out with me. It just came out of no where, and then before I knew it I was with her all the time. Then she wanted to be my roommate.

I'm fairly sure she's gonna text me wanting to do something tonight, but I need to f'n stand tall and decline her. I don't need her.

Her: "You down for some pool?"
Me: "Honestly, I'm flaked out. Sorry."

Then when I go off to France with another girl. She'll have to see all my pics on facebook. That's how it was last time I went in May. She started sending me novels as facebook messages, and then when I got back we hung out all the time. She also did the same thing when I had a girl from France stay with me for two weeks in July. I know she gets jealous of other women who are with me. When I was with the last girlfriend, she said: "I want to hang out with you; as long as, your new girlfriend doesn't mind, and you still want me around."

I am in the friendzone; I knowingly put myself there, and it's time for me to get out or have her get out of my life, which means laying down the law, and if she doesn't like it, she can delete my number.

 

[SchoolBoy]

I am in the friendzone; I knowingly put myself there, and it's time for me to get out or have her get out of my life, which means laying down the law, and if she doesn't like it, she can delete my number.

Words of a true DJ..

 

[DonHo]

WAKE UP is more like it. You, bro, are her doormat. She hangs out with you and wanted to move in with you only by DEFAULT! If she had the guy she really liked you would have been history. She wants to "hang out" with you ..... great. Like you said, it's your fault. There is no "laying down the law", she'll probably just play you along until she has you back under control and you'll be her doormat again. And don't tell her "I'm flaked out". Lose her number ... FOR GOOD. Don't respond to her calls or texts. If she gets a hold of you, be polite and nice, tell her you've been busy and get out of the conversation. You already let this effect you for a year, are you ready for another year of this BS?

 

[Swashbuckler]

I've largely tried to move on; I need to keep my mind focused on leaving for France within a week with a girl who is bragging to her friends about going on a 2 week trip with me.

But the girl who I've had the deepest connection with, this girl who I can't go a day without thinking about, texted me out of the blue today.

She asked me if I was excited for Boondock Saints 2, and then closed the text with "or did I pin you for the wrong man?"

Of course, I was caught off guard, which is her style. I hadn't seen her since November, so I was surprised she texted me while she knew I wasn't in town. I was curious but highly hesitant.

We texted back and forth, but I put gaps in between my replies. I was in the vineyards in the mountains, and I went out tonight.

Anyways, here is what I'm the most curious about. She said, "Oh [Swashbuckler] we are like souls. When will we reunite?"

I didn't give in and told her maybe when I returned from France.

Then she said, "I'll count the days until you return."

WHAT THE FVCK! She's been playin me for a year now. She's got a boyfriend; however, she told me she's still a virgin, and she doesn't have sex with him.

We're friends, but god I can't explain how much i feel compelled to her. I have so many women in my life, but she always has commanded the spotlight. In 5 days, I'm about to spend 18 days with a beautiful girl roaming Paris and France's countryside, yet this girl won't let it be so easy.

Last month, I felt nothing when I turned yet another girl down. She poured her soul into an email, and I felt nothing when I dragged it to the trash.

I'm dying to have some insight. It's impossible to think with ration and logic while my blood is rushing through my heart. I've never felt this way about anyone, and to tell you the truth there isn't a day that goes by that I wish I could just cut it off because it's a wound that will never heal.