I looking for some feedback, see if anyone else can remotely associate with my problem, or have some insight. First a question: do you have the ultimate goal of finding "the one"? Do you think that you would lose interest in other women if you find her, or will you still have a desire and an interest, but with a struggle, keep it under control?
I can't tell if I'm just a complete loner who can't get so close to a girl, or otherwise a total sexual reprobate who cannot possibly, ever, be satisfied by one woman. I suspect it's partly both. So I really feel condemned to be lonely as I am just now.
My last 3 girlfriends (going back over 10 years) have been beautiful, sexy, interesting, fun, loyal, everything a guy could ask for in a girlfriend. And each time for the first year or so I could reciprocate the feeling. But then I started to get this feeling that
1) they were starting to annoy/bore me
2) we were spending too much time together and I start to feel trapped and wanting some time on my own to 'develop' myself, and
3) hmm other girls start to look mighty interesting.
The final outcome is inevetably a massively painful breakup and broken hearts all round. I lose the girl and suddenly realise that I've let all my friends drift away in the meantime. And here I am again, and here is where the cycle would usually repeat. But I don't want to go through this all again. I really miss my recent ex. I love her. I know she would take me back, but I know it would go through the exact same process again and I don't want to do that to her. I have slept with a few other girls and sex is definitely better within a relationship when you know someone and are more comfortable. But I know points 1, 2 and 3 would come and kick me in the face again.
I know I'm rambling now. Not really sure my point. If I wanted to be in a relationship I would be with her. If I could turn off my libido and not get bored of the same girl I would do that. Instead I am actually seriously thinking about getting involved with the porn industry. I think I may have a problem.
I can't tell if I'm just a complete loner who can't get so close to a girl, or otherwise a total sexual reprobate who cannot possibly, ever, be satisfied by one woman. I suspect it's partly both. So I really feel condemned to be lonely as I am just now.
My last 3 girlfriends (going back over 10 years) have been beautiful, sexy, interesting, fun, loyal, everything a guy could ask for in a girlfriend. And each time for the first year or so I could reciprocate the feeling. But then I started to get this feeling that
1) they were starting to annoy/bore me
2) we were spending too much time together and I start to feel trapped and wanting some time on my own to 'develop' myself, and
3) hmm other girls start to look mighty interesting.
The final outcome is inevetably a massively painful breakup and broken hearts all round. I lose the girl and suddenly realise that I've let all my friends drift away in the meantime. And here I am again, and here is where the cycle would usually repeat. But I don't want to go through this all again. I really miss my recent ex. I love her. I know she would take me back, but I know it would go through the exact same process again and I don't want to do that to her. I have slept with a few other girls and sex is definitely better within a relationship when you know someone and are more comfortable. But I know points 1, 2 and 3 would come and kick me in the face again.
I know I'm rambling now. Not really sure my point. If I wanted to be in a relationship I would be with her. If I could turn off my libido and not get bored of the same girl I would do that. Instead I am actually seriously thinking about getting involved with the porn industry. I think I may have a problem.