First off let me say, I know how you are feeling right now. It sucks. Let me guess. All you can do is think about her. Like literally thats all thats on your mind. No matter what people say to you, tell you to do. No matter what you do, or where you go. I know how it is, and really there is nothing you can consciously do about it. My situation is obviously different than yours, hell i dont think many people EVER go through with your situation because you are so off course here its unbelievable. Like I said there isnt anything you can do to get over her, except truly 100% LETTING GO! That was my problem also.
I think everyday about the mistakes i made, but there is nothing i can do about it now. yeah when we first broke up, I allowed it to get the best of me and my mind was completely ****ed. And I was harping on everything, wondering wtf happend. Then I realized, that although I was trying really hard to stick to the DJ path and way of life, that thinking back, I really wasnt doing so. Yeah at first I was and it went fxcking great. But thinking back im like holy **** I over analyzed things way too much, I started caring too much, I didnt put ME first or what I wanted first. I wasnt being decisive anymore or acting in control. AND I DIDNT EVEN REALIZE IT. I started to change my behaviour, even though I tried my hardest not to.
So after thinking about it for a few weeks I finally realized something. over the last 8 months, I have changed a hell of a lot. Im not the wuss I used to be, but it isnt completely gone. Im much happier with myself than I used to be, but ive seen over time that some of my values and good behaviours I used to have, have gone dormant. I worked hard on my OUTER GAME, but that just wasnt enough. Am I more confident, hell yeah I am. Have I rid myself of securities? Id like to think so, but im not perfect, I still need to work. Like DavenJuan said above, its the INNER GAME that is truly important. If your inner game is down, than naturally your outer game should improve as well. So I took a step back and evaluated myself. Over the last 8 months my success with women has increased 10 fold. Overall, Id say im much better off. But ive seen that what made me ME has seemed to have gone in hiding.
Coinsidently over the past 8 months I started smoking weed regularly. It was once a week, but summer came around it was more and more,until it was everyday. In the summer, theres no problem with that. I had the best summer ever. But summer ended, and I kept up the habbit. Never do I not want to smoke up. It makes everything better, everything. I was never bored, it made everything and anything more enjoyable. But recently ive assessed myself. While i love herb, I love myself more. My best interest is most important. So im taking a bit of a break, it sucks because im bored as **** sometimes, but I need to see what its like again. I feel that what made me a great person before, is kind of no longer there. I failed to manage myself properly and have recognized that I need to change. I know people who are high at ALL times, and i DO NOT want to be like them. they dont see how ****ed they are. over the past 8 months ive put my fitness first and will continue to do so as it makes me feel great, look great and gives me confidence. I am working on being the always positive, out going, kind person I used to be. I am working on my INNER GAME. Making me, a better me. Taking all ive learned, and bringing it together with what me such a likeable person with a solid ground. the best of both worlds. Im not going to stop what works, im just going to work on ME. Weed has also opened up my mind and has changed me forever, in a GOOD way. But ive seen that ive temporally changed in a few BAD ways. I will work on bettering myself, and will smoke weed again, but I wont let it get the best of me. I am not addicted to it, its just something that makes me feel good, and why would i not want to feel good all the time? But why cant I feel good all the time without it? Thats what im working on, getting to a state of enlightenment i guess youd call it.
I think you NEED to work on your INNER GAME, big time. Not to be mean, but after reading your posts, I really cant come up for a word for it. Simply put, YOU DO NOT GET IT.
You said in your OP that you are sorry for not listening to all the advice on the forum, that all the advice was right and you were wrong. So why are you not listening to people now. I wish I had stuck more to my guns along the way, and I wish i would have listened a little more to the advice i got on the forum. THIS SH1T WORKS. IT IS RIGHT. Do not let other people tell you otherwise. I love getting both sides to everything, but I realize that YOU WILL HEAR WANT YOU WANT TO HEAR. AND DO WHAT YOU WANT TO DO AT HEART EVEN IF YOU KNOW IT ISNT RIGHT. You will think what you want. You must step back and consider things man. Youre being absolutely rediculous about this. Step in her shoes. Its totally creepy dude. Maybe you havent ever had someone interested in you that you have NO interest in. Its a great feeling when someone likes you and you know that they like you. Its even better when the feeling is mutual. But when you arent attracted to them for whatever reason and someone just cant take a hint, it sucks big time. I dont like hurting feelings, and id like to think most people dont either. But some people like the feeling of someone so interested them that they dont do what is best for both parties. It comes down to selfishness really. Sometimes the right thing to do and have to do, is to be blunt. but not in a bad way, thats just plain immature, disrespectful and something I wont tolerate. Be real, thats my motto and how I try and live. Be you, dont let anything stop you from doing what you want, girls want a guy who dosnt compromise themselves. At the same time, you need to rationalize this, and all your actions really. Think of what outcome you want, and think what the best path is to get there. You need better judgement, and the only way to get it is with experience. the only way to get experience is to work on yourself. INNER GAME.
What you need to do is SERIOUSLY listen to the advice you are given. And think about it. And think about it some more. and some more. you want to know what you need to do? You need to LET GO COMPLETELY. MOVE ON. FIND SOMEONE ELSE. You need to learn how to control yourself, your emotions and your thought process. You are drowning in the deep end and people are trying to pull you out, but you seem to prefer to drown.
You sound like a good guy man. DONT LET ANYTHING GET YOU DOWN. People like being around positive and happy people. Dont be negative. Just forget about her. Let her do what she wants, and DO WHAT IS BEST FOR YOU. As for her not appologizing:
Back in the early summer, met this girl I knew of at a bar. We end up dancing, leads to furious making out and intense grinding. I get her number, we text etc. Next thing I know, this monster of a human, who is her ex, is apparently looking for me. Ive heard stories of this man, things hes done to people you dont ever want to happen to you. i dont know if they are still seeing each, still talking, still dating, or if she just wanted to make him jealous. Regardless I didnt want any part of it. She kept trying to talk to me, but enough was enough. I told her to stop contacting me, that she was trouble and I dont want any part of it. She appologizes for the bfs behaviour.Shed always try and text me etc. but I never responded. A month later I see her again somewhere and shes like im so sorry blah blah blah. Im like i dont need to hear it. This made this chick dig me so hard.She promised me the ex was out of the equation. I ease the impossible challenge a bit and so we start seeing each other for a bit. I was still learning, and didnt do the best. I dont remember cuz it was so long ago, but it didnt work out, and so we just stopped talking.whatever learning experience man. To cut to the chase, a month ago ( like 5 months later) I run into her in the mall. Talk to her very briefly, with 0 hard feelings. I forgot about her actually. After seeing her, like a week or 2 later she IM's me out of the blue. Im like wtf does this broad want. Turns out, its been eating her alive. Shes like I know it may be weird, but I couldnt take it anymore. After I saw you at the mall, I thought back to when we were seeing each other, and I feel so bad what happend. Im so sorry, youre such an awesome guy, I had to tell to you that. Your great, but I wasnt feeling it. I was totally taken back, like holy sh1t. I had to ask her exactly what she was appologizing for, cuz i really wasnt even sure. But the point of it is man, girls often make NO SENSE WHAT SO EVER. Their actions,words, thinking just make 0 sense sometimes. Thats why its up to YOU to work on YOURSELF, so you can diffuse the silly things girls do and handle them.
So in your case theres a few options:
A) You are so wrong here, you dont know whats going on.
B)She just wants to get rid of you right now.
C)She is so oblivious of her actions she dosnt realize what a cvnt shes being.
Whatever it is, does it really matter? Put yourself first. For whatever reason she does not want to be with you right now. So move on and find someone who does.
