I just left my girlfriend of 3 years, for business. Am I a selfish prick?

[Mr. Focus]

Spend your 20s building up your life, your career, your finances, and your home. Spend your 30s having lots of sex. Settle with an early-20s woman when you're around 40.

When I think about this though, I just imagine the women getting with you for the security, and later, banging some younger dude behind your back once you're 60+ and you basically just die with no true companion. I feel like you'll never have that connection as you had with your high school sweetheart or something.

I don't know, maybe I'm looking at it negatively.

 

[Macaframalama]

Did you talk to her about any of this beforehand?

 

[Mr. Focus]

Did you talk to her about any of this beforehand?

I've broken up with her a couple times before, the break ups obviously didn't last long though. I've usually done it out of frustration, but she knew I was having problem's knowing if I wanted to commit to her or not.

Thinking of marriage and moving in together stressed the **** out of me. I kept thinking about independence, independence, independence. And the fact of, is this really not gonna get stale after 10+ years and I'm gonna regret it all? Am I missing out? And then I would read forums of PUA's and just get jealous and really wonder what to do.

Now that I've broken up with her though, and this feeling of loss is coming over me, I really just feel like contacting her and saying to move in with me, I know I really shouldn't and I won't but my mind is just going crazy. I've always had a problem with letting go, even if I NEED to or WANT to.

 

[Mr. Focus]

Every time that I've broken up with someone, I've felt an immense sense of relief. Like the pressure has been lifted.

If this is the same for you, then just enjoy that for a little while. No need to rush straight back into anything.

I would just suggest enjoying your independence. Before getting back in the game - this time trying to manage keeping that independence intact as much as possible.

I did feel an immense sense of relief, the whole day was joyous for me, I was singing in my car and chit, thinking about the future I opened up for myself.

Two days later though, and I don't know.. I'm not feeling as good as I was.

 

[Macaframalama]

I've broken up with her a couple times before, the break ups obviously didn't last long though. I've usually done it out of frustration, but she knew I was having problem's knowing if I wanted to commit to her or not.

She's likely to grow tired of the wish wash and/or develope a complex or just get sick of it and seek out someone who knows seems like they know what they want.

Thinking of marriage and moving in together stressed the **** out of me.

Was she pushing for this?

And the fact of, is this really not gonna get stale after 10+ years and I'm gonna regret it all? Am I missing out?

The older you get, going out and bagging random chics gets less important, than finding the total package. This is my experience and most of those around my age that I know. I'm not speaking in absolutes here. I felt there was a time in my life that I had to get it out of my system and did. The truth is, is that it is hard to find the total package.

Now that I've broken up with her though, and this feeling of loss is coming over me, I really just feel like contacting her and saying to move in with me, I know I really shouldn't and I won't but my mind is just going crazy.

Life is a gamble bro and the highest stakes come with the biggest risks. The best advice I can give is to follow your intuition. Fvck all the cheesy junk you read on pua forums and all the chicks they claim they are smashing. This is your life, your decisions and yours/hers feelings. At the very least, if you haven't already, you owe it to yourself and her to sit down and lay it all on the table. Don't just bail without letting her know exactly what's going on with you. You can find this with males or females, but either way it's a bich tendency.

 

[beforeimgone]

(I'm new here) Hello everybody!!!! I am going to spend a lot of time on this forum.

So, as the title says, I left my girlfriend this past weekend, the longest relationship I've ever had, so I can focus 100% on my business, and fully experience my 20's (I'm 20).

I met this girl when I was 17, I had recently gotten over another break up, was working out, dressed well, and felt on top of the world and confident. She was the hottest girl that was ever interested in me. I almost didn't want to jump into another relationship right away, but of course I felt pressured and made it official.

The relationship wasn't bad at all, I loved her (still do), but there were times where I just felt like I wanted my independence. I didn't want to waste time. I wanted to hustle 100% and be free to move across country tomorrow if I wanted to, without having to worry about her (being in college). Not only that, but my call to the Sexual Marketplace has been increasing over time, I couldn't help feeling like I was losing out whenever I saw an attractive girl in public, and not being able to do anything. Not just losing out on sex potential either, but losing out on building confidence, the art of talking to people, and just growing in general.

Not to say that I didn't do **** in the relationship, I didn't let myself go, I still had my business goals, worked out, read books... I just felt like I could have done A LOT more if I was alone during those 3 years, she was an excuse for me to procrastinate, and just be comfortable and chill out with her. Whenever I visualized moving out of my parents house, I didn't really like the idea of living with her either, I just wanted to be alone and independent and hustling.

I've ALWAYS had a hard time breaking up with someone, even when things are going bad, I've had a problem with attaching too hard. I attempted to break up with her maybe after the 2nd year, but I felt hopeless and got back with her.

Then I read The Rational Male, I don't know why, but the author really spoke to me, and after just a few chapters in, I got the courage, and I broke up with her the next day for good. She did not take it well at all.

I should be feeling good, but I can't help but feel a little down. There's thoughts in my head that are like, "Maybe I COULD have focused 100% while being with her, maybe it was MY issue, maybe I'm the one who made all the excuses, blablabla".

I guess my plans are just to now work on myself and I really have no plans for a relationship for a very, very long time. I'm entering the non-exclusive dating scene now.

My mother obviously doesn't agree with the break up, and thinks I just broke my poor girlfriends heart for no reason.

What do you guys think? Am I a selfish prick for breaking up with her? Or is my future more important, and this may have been the best decision I could have made for myself?

You are a selfish and filthy prick and I love that about you

 

[Reykhel]

Don't worry, if the shoe was on the other foot I can guarantee you one thing....
she would not be writing a thread about feeling bad about dumping you.