Hi brothers. YOUR opinion will be much appreciated.
I recently got married. Like 4 months ago. Knowing each other only roughly for a year. Being red pill aware. For about last 2 years (man I had really fun times with different women, while traveling mainly, and living abroad). Yeah, I know. We both are from different cultures and countries. We met while both living abroad for awhile. (She's from South America, Im from Eastern Europe). But, we are planning to move to Canada in a year or two.
(The good thing though is that I DO NOT have any assets to loose, neither has she). I am broke at the moment. (Because of lockdowns and my choice to returning to studying full time). The idea is to build everything together from scratch..
This might be a bit odd to share it with this community, but most of the guys in my circle are either heavily blue pilled or rather few PUA's with "fuk everything that moves" mentality, so I have nobody really to ask for a genuine opinion.
The main reason why I got married, was because I always wanted to have kids, and a happy family of my own, to teach them those things my parents and grandparents didnt thought me, to raise them as great human beings, to let them achieve their dreams, and help others, like I have done most of my life. But lately, with all this bs that is now happening around the world, I have so many doubts if I actually want to bring my own children to this fckd up world. Also being red pill aware, I dont believe in a fairy tale, and happily ever after. Although my wife has most of the qualities I see in a mother of my kids, which I never saw in any other woman I was dating with.
Being red pill aware, I can not fully believe that she will never ever cheat on me. Although we had some very though discussions about this and me making her cry, she promising me that she would never do anything like that to me. Is that even possible ? I mean, I make her cry and laugh in bed and give a lot of pleasure and orgasms. I have a good package and she desires it. Im quite good looking, strong, with a solid sports history, but rather skinny/fit, have no big muscles (which I would still like to work on and achieve my genetical potential). Although she says she likes my body, I would not like her to see some big alphas to trying to get in her panties, and her being vulnerable falling for that, just because she could not see it in me.
My biggest problem is that I haven't achieved my potential, and at the moment am quite broke. She is doing a bit better, and willing to help me financially while I finish my studies (I returned to those after many years), and keep working and progressing professionally herself. It scares the **** out of me to being aware that Im kind of loosing my freedom, and starting to build something new when I haven't really fixed myself, and so should she. It will take me some years to get back stability financial wise, and to be ready to even start planning the kids. I am 33 and she is 31. I still have time, but does she?!
I have sacrificed myself moving to a different country at this moment, and quitting my job just to finish my studies, for both of us, not only myself. Its not like I am filthy rich and she has got the winner at the finish line. She has chosen to stick with me and build everything together, from zero. Which is surprising, and not usual at all. We are both good people, that I know. But it would hurt me so bad if she would loose the patience along the way. Or even worse change her mind in 10-15 years with 2 kids, under our belt, just because of something related to female nature and thinking along the journey.
What are your thoughts? Am I making my life more difficult as always, or I might have won the lottery of 2% ?
Another quote that hit me hard yesterday (although I haven't yet become the king I would like to be, but:
"What's the point of becoming a king, if you don't raise a prince who will take the throne after you die ?"
