Originally posted by The Anti Dr Phil
I've seen you guys post many reasons why it's hard for men to walk away, despite being in horrendous situations, except one very important reason. One of THE most important reasons, in my humble opinion.
Bottom line - Most men don't want to endure the thought of another man invading his territory; another man laying his woman. It doesn't matter if a man's woman is the most evil creature on the planet, a man doesn't want to endure that thought. People (men and women) are territorial, and people find it difficult to walk away because of the aformentioned reason. Many of you may disagree, but really think about it for 11 seconds. Some people would STILL feel a twinge of jealously if they were to see an ex out with someone else years later, so you can imagine what that internal struggle must be like when the wound is still fresh. Fortunately, women endure the same internal battles/demons, so I say do the smart thing and gain the upperhand by leaving the relationship first. Wicked? Perhaps, but thems the breaks.
In my opinion, he who walks away first leaves with the relationship with the most power. And leaving with the most power and dignity is akin to winning the break-up war. But if you really want to get your hands dirty, engage in psychological warfare, and introduce the trifecta into the equation. Leave the relationship 1st, without closure (which is key), and without a trace. This gem of a maneauver is akin to dropping a nuclear or bilogical weapon in the break-up war, and it can take a person years to recover. It's but one in many steps of what I like to call The Anti Dr Phil's "Medeival Torture Methods" - aka extreme psychological warfare. Closure and forgiveness are NOT an option.
So with that being the ugly and smelly facts, I will behoove me to leave first, if I can help it. The person who chooses to ride it out is usually left with the most emotionally baggage/battle scars, and their self esteem takes an even greater hit. Not only will said individual be left with the unnerving feeling that they didn't have the strength to leave first, they are left toiling in emotional uncertainty wondering what you're doing, "who you're doing", and why you didn't attempt to work things out. Their self esteem takes a hit, and it leaves them with a feeling of lowered self worth. A feeling of "he loved me the least because he had the power to walk away first - without a trace". Nothing lowers a persons self esteem quicker than dealing with feelings of rejection. And there is no feeling of rejection worse than being jilted by a former lover. Knowing all of that, a person would be an absolute fool to not leave first.
Not only would I leave, I'd dissappear like Keyser Soza (Usual Suspects), never to be seen or heard from again. And if she did see you again months or years later??? Take that time in between to self improve to ridiculous lengths, which would drive the stake home even further. It's a subconcious way of saying, "not only did I not need you, I didn't respect you enough to say goodbye". And as a kick in the tail on the way out, "I got even better without you".
Is it an @sshole move? Yep. But no one ever said war and breakups weren't ugly.
That said, if a person is married or has children, of course this would be a tad hard-core...but for general relationships??? I am unmerciful
" It was like a dagger went through my heart.
