I just can't break my old habbits....

[nestea16]

Helllo fellow don juans and welcome to my life.

I just turned 18 and im in my final year of high school. I have always been a shy person around girls and pretty much only girls and i can't seem to break this habbit. I am a good looking guy so im told and when i wander the halls at school, i catch girls looking my way all the time.

I've read everything there is needed to know about dj'ing but i just cant seem to meet new girls at school. Its like i know how to but im just ... afraid?

No matter what i think to myself, i just always seem to think if i approached some random girl at school, she would be confused at was i was doing and totally shut me down. I have even bet $20 to my friend and told him not to give it to me until i approach one girl that day and i STILL DIDNT!!!!

I dont know whats wrong with me, it seems i have no confidence in myself and its starting to get me depressed by every passing day...

Thats just half of it.

Everyone knows in high school there is the cool kids, the kinda cool kids and the dorks. I fall in the category as "kinda cool", but for some reason ive always wanted to be with the in crowd, it seems like i would do anything to be in that crowd... it seems shallow but thats the way i think. Because of this, i have lots of trouble even looking at the popular girls because i put them ahead of me on the social ladder and think, "what would they want with me??"

Anyways thats my life...

Any advice ?

 

[WishIWas]

Yes. Stop thinking. Seriously.

If not thinking and just going up and talking to these girls who look your way isn't working for you, then give yourself some physical motivation. By this, I mean withdraw from physical stimulation (ie masturbating) until you get over your fears and approach a girl. The best way to appeal to a guy is through his horniness...appeal to yourself in the same way.

This will motivate you fast.

 

[SuSHI]

WishIwas has a good point. Some might disagree, but I don't. You are still not confident enough to motivate yourself (I was there).

And if you're anything like me, after your first approach, you will have broken the ice into the world of Djing. Sure it will not be easy from that point on, but it will be easier.

I also would recommand reading Photo 1's post "Are you a guy that jsut can't approach?"


This post did it for me! I was just like you, but after I read this post, it changed my perspective of things. Just remember, if you get rejected your first time, its ok! You are still learning, don't expect too much of yourself yet. But believe in yourself to be the mack, maybe not now...But one day...

It's all about IMPROVEMENT. Always and always!

SuSHI.

 

[Engetsu]

I could also go on and on, rambling about improvement and self-motivation and all those philosophical ways of changing your mindset.

However, for you, I have something much much simpler. I'm sure you have at least *one* friend that's 100% natural, i.e. isn't scared of what other people think of him, wouldn't hesitate to approach ANYONE casually, has a great sense of humor or is just fun to be around.

If that's the case, try to spend as much time as possible with that person, without being a doormat for your friend as well. Learn from him, see how he works with other people, then when he's not around, say his lines or imitate him.

It's much easier if he's not around, trust me, and it'll work better because you won't have your friend, that does everything so smoothly, watching you and judging you.

Just some friendly advice.

 

[Nocturnal]

Hey there. You seem to be how I was at first, strongly caged in the world of AFCdom. You seem to have, and you’re going to have to admit it sooner or later, at least a portion of social anxiety. It is my opinion that you can be introverted and not shy etc, so that means you can change yourself without changing your personality. You’re going to need to start at a little more gradual pace and slower than normal, but that’s ok. Once you realize the potential you may skyrocket forward. So where to start? Be social. Those two words are going to matter a lot, everytime you think to yourself “I need to approach more women” or “I’m to shy” go back to those two words. Now obviously being social on the level of approaching women is very difficult right now, so take it down a notch. You do have friends, judging from your post above. Do stuff with them outside of school, do things with them and meet new people. After you get comfortable with meeting new people through your friends, it will be easier to talk to people in class etc (at least guys). Just start up conversations, once you begin meeting new people this will come. Basically, you’re going to practice your social skills on whatever level your brain will let you. Why not force yourself to just go start approaching girls? Because this is the internet, and no matter what I say to you it will not be as strong as if someone told it to you in person. You have to convince yourself. So do what you’re capable of, and push your limits. Practice conversation, even if you don’t have to. Being social requires a learned skill just as much as anything else, so get to work. Good luck.