I I F*cked Up with my Female DJ I'm dating

[darkmenace]

Alright this week is my last week in the States, since I'm going on a family trip to Central America, so I been trying to leave things cool for when I get back.

The girl I'm dating (The female DJ I mentioned in my 2 previous posts) and I decided to see each other on Wednsday of this week. She told me she kinda wanted to see that movie "Dirty Pretty Things", so I suggested we go and see it. We had a date for later that day.
I got to the theaters and just chilled and waited for her. She calls me and tells me shes there, and I tell her to come to the bookstore since I'm there. She gets there and we walk to the theater, she then asks me if I bought the tickets, I didnt. I tell her to go first (I guess she assumed I was gonna pay for her too), she goes and then I pay for mine. Right then I could tell she was kinda mad at the fact I didnt pay for her, she hits me with some c+f, I hit her back with it too.
We go and sit down, and I could feel that kinda tension. We start to watch the movie and I move in to get real close to her, but she just tells me "no, stop" and moves her hand away. So I just say "f*ck it" and chill back, the movie goes on. Later on, I try again but once again she just says no.
Anyway movie finishes and we walk out, I go for her hand and she pulls away, I'm like "WTF". She tells me shes gonna buy something for her dad and I tell her "sure go ahead". As were walking, I ask her "whats wrong, we seem out of it today", she goes acting like if nothings wrong. Now right here, I had no idea if it was about me not paying for her and acting like a jackass.
So she tells me nothings wrong, I can see it in her actions shes mad, so I just drop it. We go on and buy the thing for her dad at the food court, we then suggest eating something, then shes like "are you sure your gonna have enough money", I tell her "well I got money for me, I dont know about you" (mistake, I suggested but didnt offer to pay)
She then goes, "you know what, I gotta buy some things for my mom anyway, so forget it"
We start to walk to the Gap, when I ask if shes gonna give me a ride home and she just looks at me like I'm crazy. she tells me "oh so you invite me out cuz you wanna see me, you dont pay for both of us, and now you want a ride home"
So I say, "oh so thats what this is about", she says its not, So then we start to argue, she starts getting mad, I start getting mad, I keep asking her then whats wrong, because It cant be like this, she gets mad cuz I keep asking, I get mad because she doesnt say anything. Then I finally just say "what are we even arguing about" She says "I dont know what were arguing about, so then lets just drop it."
We walk into the Gap pissed as hell, I call my dad to pick me up. We walk out pissed off, I tell her goodbye as we walk to the parking lot, she starts to walk off saying bye. I tell her "hey wait" And I try to give her a kiss goodbye and she just moves aways, I just say "alright, well talk" and turn and leave.

Now after that I'm pissed the hell off, Im pacing just saying "f*ckit, I dont need that sh*t, This is it, no more" So I was seriously pissed off. My dad picks me up finally, and he knows somethings wrong, So he goes on and asks me. I start to ramble on about how I dont need that sh*t, so f*ckit no more. He still doesnt know what I'm talkin about, so finally I relax and tell him what happened, It takes me a while to tell him the whole thing, when I finally ask him what should I do. (my dad is a DJ, so any advice I take it) He tells me he agrees with the girl for getting mad at me. He tells me all this about how sh*t like this shouldnt happen so early on if you want something to happen, now shes taking this as a negative thing and if I keep it up she might not wanna date me anymore.
So basically my dad told me not to act like a jackass or cheap bastard, He made me realize my mistake. And I agree I did make a mistake. Now Im tripping cuz my girl was looking so good for me and I didnt f*ckin appreciate it

But anyway, today is the day after and I'm thinkin of calling her today and just setting things straight before I leave (I leave on Saturday)
What do you guys think???

 

[AC/DC]

Whoa I finished.

Anyways, your dad is correct. You should have paid for her.

You have to be a gentleman. Not a DJ "trying" out some DJ principles.

By the way, when a woman says "Nothing's wrong", it means "everything's wrong!"

So you should have pressed harder for the truth.

Better luck next time.

 

[SuSHI]

I sorta have a problem when it comes to paying too. I don't wanna come off as a jackass/cheap bastard, but I practically have to pay for the whole date. And sometimes thats up to like $40 bucks.

I know there are cheap things and such, but sometimes you gotta go to the fun things that cost $ too. And the girls almost never wants to help you out paying.

So, if that was your case, and you've been out with her many times and she expects you to pay everytime, then F*ck it!.

But if thats not the case, then I guess your dad is right. I am still really confuesd when it comes to paying and dating.

I think you should call her, but DO NOT APOLOGIZE!

just try and make it up to her non-verbally. Like take her out for a quick ice cream and talk a bit.


SuSHI. (oh and never take your girl to a sushi place, unless you want to pay a "+ $35" bill)

 

[oreo_renegade]

haha, aw dude

shes a chick DJ, do you not see what she just did?

She just got you pvssy whipped.

She throws a little fit, and your an AFC again.

WTF?

You dont pay for her in the movies, so what!?

the only mistake you made was buging her to tell you whats wrong.

Nothing is ever wrong. She just threw a litle fit to surprise you and get you off balance, you go on and keep botehring her about it, then she probably really did get mad.

You dont solve problems by sitting there and dredging them up. Think about what happens in her mind.



**inside her mind**
"ha, he didnt pay for me! what a bastard, ill make him pay for that!"
*throws hissy fit C+F sh1t*
---
later on

"oh hes trying to put his arm around me, nu uh, im going to make him sorry for what he did, I have got the upper hand, and he better recognize who is the dominant one!"
--later on

"dammit why the hell does he keep asking me whats wrong, im just playing around, but this guy is really starting to piss me off"

--later on

"dammit shut the hell up!!!!! I ned some time away from this dude, to cool off"


**end**




Now, the smart thing to do would have been to completely SHIFT her minds direction.



She gets mad at you for not paying, she gets embarrassed, etc, you LAUGH AT HER!

push her around a bit, kino her, "ohh im sorryyy, hahahahah, come here, ill give you a hug and make it all better "

then KEEP TEASING HER.

through out the movie, dont sit there and go "whats wrong, whats wrong?"

DO somethign about it. tickle the **** outa her, poke her in the ribs, pinch her arms, brush her hair, then completely ignore her.


then ask her if she wants a drink, and go get one for her and yourself (in case you really felt bad for not paying for her)

by the time the movie was over you should have had her laughing and kinoing you back, not still trying to reign control over you.


Never let a ho knock you down, stay 5seps ahead, and remember that she is playing you just as much as you play her.


But thats what makes the game hella fun

 

[Superman X]

All you people who think that you should pay for girl's sh!t have me feeling like the only sane person in a psycho ward.

The tradition of being a gentlemen came before the women's rights movement. Like, when girls couldn't work and therefore didn't have money. Now they can work, and do have money. Doesn't anyone else but me see something very wrong with the fact that women are legally in every way equal to men, but we still have to treat them special?

Not only that, but paying for girls has never produced results. Back in the 50s it got you dates, but it didn't get you lays.

Oreo's right, the way to handle when a girl wants you to pay for something is to be c+f about it. Like in your case, you should be like, if you buy a movie ticket for me you might get lucky tonight. When she says that you should buy something for her, crack up, choke on your drink, etc. make a big show of being shocked.

If she keeps insisting, call her scam and say her golddigging is pissing you off. And if she keeps insisting at this point, walk out on the date, because she is a scam artist.

As for the advice your dad gave you: Undoubtedly it was good advice, when he was growing up. Back then, chivalry and being gentlemanly was a must. Now, chivalry is dead. Holding doors and buying girls stuff are ridiculously outmoded kiss-a$$ tactics.

In your case, now you especially can't but her stuff because she told you to. This is what's known as a sh!t test: she tries to make you do stuff to see if you are a wuss or if you will stand up for yourself and not do it. Don't supplicate. Say that you don't pay for girls and if she doesn't like it she can leave.

 

[darkmenace]

LOL, oreo_renegade great advice. Thanx, I could have used it yesterday.

Well anyway, as much as a DJ I am, this girl has been the only one whos gotten to me. For the past 4 weeks that we've been dating, shes been trying to make my inner AFC come back out. Although its been resisting, little by little its been pulled out. I havent been AFC all out, its just some instances it comes out and you could say its messed me up in the long run.

First off, last nights hissy fit stemed from many other things.
I've made her lose attraction towards me, not good.
I havent been making her excited
First date was amazing, but I didnt go for kiss close, I held back on my sexuality.
I've been acting AFC on certain things, and its all because I took out the excitement of it than when we first started talking.

I'm not gonna deny it, I f*cked up, so what. Its cool, I was blinded like my old AFC self and messed up.

We talked today, I tried to settle it and get the truth out and I managed to. It was just that, she lost attraction. I recognized my error, but never did anything to change it up, simple as that.

Thing was, with this girl I tried with her when I was a full on AFC, but never got her. Now she got attracted to me, and me afraid to lose her again, I let the AFC take over. Not good.

So what happens now, we talked for a good while taking everything out. She told me that she didnt see anything anymore, she didnt feel it. She said the reasons why, took a while for it. Me, I told her my reasons. The day before I had LJBF'd her, and today she brought it back and I told her that I was mad when I said it.
I mean we talked a good deal, she kept saying that she didnt feel it anymore, and she kept assuming I was feeling a certain way, I honestly told her straight out that no I wasnt even worrying about it, she said the same.

Throughout the conversation I actually suggested that we should give this a chance and see what happens because she was jumping too soon to conclusions. She would say she didnt want it, but she think about it. So basically she was unsure if that was what she meant. Anyway, we take everything out, she tells me that she's in some love triangle and wants to get me out of the equation. I tell her that she shouldnt assume shes the only one I'm talking to, she keeps asking me if I am talkin to anyone.

So I say, that we should give this a chance, take some time and see whats up, I'm gonna be out for about 3 weeks so that'll give me some time just clear my head about other things, not just you. She says, "that alright, but if were gonna be doing this, expect me to talk to other guys." I told her "hey same for you, expect me to talk to other girls" alright, bye "CLICK"

After that long convo, I couldnt help but feel relieved. I'm surprisingly relieved. I didnt supplicate, I was calm as hell, I mean I was happy. I laughed it off. I'm not gonna deny it, I want her, and I want her to be my next girlfriend, but shes not gonna be my oneitis once again. I got plenty other potential girls. This is a nice challenge for me though, my DJ skills are really gonna shine here, because I'm gonna get her.

Like Tyler Durden says in Fight Club, "Its not until you've lost everything, that your free to do anything"

thanx alot guys, and I'll keep you posted, till then I'm taking off for a 3 week trip to Central America and getting me some foreign "tang"

 

[Ronny_Neumonic II]

For some reason, that story made me laugh my áss off. Seriously it was so funny.


Anyways that's some of the BEST advice I've seen for a long time oreo. Spot on


That phone convo had me worried for a bit. The way you were asking her about the relationship and stuff. TBH that was very unnessecary- asking HER if you guys should keep up the relationship, however you did redeem yourself with that comment that she wasn't the only one that you're talking to. When you get back start getting with other chicks. If she doesn't call you in the first 2 weeks then call her after the 2 weeks are up just to see whats happenin. Feel around for any interest and then make your decision. No point in running after her like a dog for a bone

 

[Escalade]

Girls are looking for a gentlemen. For many reason that have already been posted, a lot of guys don't do things like open doors for them anymore, so those guys who do have higher value. Should you bend over backwards to do all this? Hell no, but paying for a date should not be a big deal, now if she's like "go buy me some food" when she's over your house or some stupid crap like that, then she's a golddigger, but if it's the occasional date then why not pay for her?

This is not AFC, AFC is when you buy a girls lunch everyday at school, AFC is when she wants something she gets it. Paying for a girl when you go to the movies is nothing, like $10 thats it.

It's all about setting limits, sometimes you have to bend a little, but never break(going back to AFC). You both go to the movies together, pay for the ticket, if she wants a jumbo popcorn, coke, and bon bons, don't pay.

 

[cant think of a user name]

Spot on oreo and Superman X, spot on... put the hoes in their place!

posted by Superman X:
Doesn't anyone else but me see something very wrong with the fact that women are legally in every way equal to men, but we still have to treat them special?

 

[digitalrat]

You should of left right when she started her little fit.

Got up and called your dad to pick you up.