I hit my girlfriend today and broke her nose. Help me!

iCatch

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I hit my girlfriend today.. wow I feel like such ****. I guess im gonna get picked up by the cops tomorrow, so I figured I would tell you guys what happend.

We were having an argument and she went too far. She made a comment along the lines of "your loser father couldn't keep a relationship together and you can't either!". When I was around 11, my parents got divorced and fought for custody. My dad wanted me and my brother because he genuinely loved us. My mom wanted us just to spite my dad. She won, and my dad kinda lost it over the decades.

This was too far for me. I had never, EVER hit a girl before, but it happened so fast I didn't even know I did it.

Basically, I ****ed my fist back, and flew it straight into her nose. I thought it would be like the movies where she would get a little trickle of blood. It wasn't. Her nose EXPLODED. I think I must of broken a bunch of cartilege or something because blood shot out of both her nostrils, got all over me, got all over the floor.

She staggered backwards, hit her head hard enough on the wall to leave a dent, and slumped down.

We were both stunned for about 10 seconds before she started crying hysterically and ran into my room and locked the door. So I went to wash my hands, and while I was in the bathroom I heard her run out of the house and take off in her car. That was about 5 hours ago so I guess she didn't go the cops or anything. So later I went home and broke down in tears..

My mom came in the room and when she heard about the story she got scared and said your moving with your auntie and uncle in bel air. I whistled for a cab and when it came near the license plate said fresh and had a dice in the mirror. If anything I could say that this cab was rare
but I thought now forget it, yo home to bel-air! I pulled up to a house about seven or eight and I yelled to the cabby yo, home smell you later! Looked at my kingdom I was finally there to settle my throne as the prince of bel-air!
 

syemour

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hahaaha wow omg wtf ftw bbq?

Well played Sir.
 

Just because a woman listens to you and acts interested in what you say doesn't mean she really is. She might just be acting polite, while silently wishing that the date would hurry up and end, or that you would go away... and never come back.

Quote taken from The SoSuave Guide to Women and Dating, which you can read for FREE.

DJVladdy

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Ima tell you like my friend told me: never punch women. Use open palm if you have to.

By the way: true story?
 

iCatch

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DJVladdy said:
Ima tell you like my friend told me: never punch women. Use open palm if you have to.

By the way: true story?
lol read the last paragraph
 

Ken785

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stupid...that jokes been done before on here...and done way better i might add.
 

Desert Fox

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AHAHAH I'M LOVIN IT MAN UR THE MANA HAAHAHAHAHAHAH

i gotta rep u for this :)
 

Never try to read a woman's mind. It is a scary place. Ignore her confusing signals and mixed messages. Assume she is interested in you and act accordingly.

Quote taken from The SoSuave Guide to Women and Dating, which you can read for FREE.

drtk

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HolyG said:
did SoSuave just get Bel-Aired????!?!?!?!
OMFG,aparently so. I hate you Icatch. :cuss:
 

CP3WOO

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Bel-Aired FTMFW!

HAHAHAHAHAHA Good jop Icatch, way to keep humor on this board
 

Create self-fulfilling prophecies. Always assume the positive. Assume she likes you. Assume she wants to talk to you. Assume she wants to go out with you. When you think positive, positive things happen.

Quote taken from The SoSuave Guide to Women and Dating, which you can read for FREE.

verysuave

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omg, now she's gona wana hump u. U are a jerk, alpahman taking in charge. This his how bad boys do it. Damn, she totally has the hots for you now
 

thefonz

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hahahaha...you just made my day.
 

You essentially upped your VALUE in her eyes by showing her that, if she wants you, she has to at times do things that you like to do. You are SOMETHING after all. You are NOT FREE. If she wants to hang with you, it's going to cost her something — time, effort, money.

Quote taken from The SoSuave Guide to Women and Dating, which you can read for FREE.

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