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I have to apologize to my girl..ideas?
- Thread starter frivolousz21
- Start date
frivolousz21
Master Don Juan
you are 100 percent right...thats just like them telling me how to be me
thefonz
Master Don Juan
friv, you're my boy and everything but I gotta side with the sosuave guys........In your first post you talked about how much guilt you felt by making her cry and how you were asking us for ways to apologize to her (if this site is useless in terms of love WHY ASK US?) then you went on to say that the next time you talked to her she had already gotten over it
......I wasn't there to hear the specifics of the conversation but you also said that it wasn't even that big an issue that you would even think about breaking up..........so you were basically gonna go AFC because of some petty riff that eventually woulda worked itself out. my concern right for you right now is your vulnerability, this girl has you hooked. If she was to turn bad (by either cheating, becoming mean, getting fat, lazy, arguementative etc.) you wouldn't have the will to walk away. A DJ MUST ALWAYS HAVE THE POWER TO WALK AWAY............on the other hand I'm a righteous proponent of intuition over reason. If you can listen to everything everyone here is telling you and just hear it go in one ear out the other without any feelings of anger, defensiveness, self-contemptment than follow that concept. You asked so we answered, do what you will with it.
......I wasn't there to hear the specifics of the conversation but you also said that it wasn't even that big an issue that you would even think about breaking up..........so you were basically gonna go AFC because of some petty riff that eventually woulda worked itself out. my concern right for you right now is your vulnerability, this girl has you hooked. If she was to turn bad (by either cheating, becoming mean, getting fat, lazy, arguementative etc.) you wouldn't have the will to walk away. A DJ MUST ALWAYS HAVE THE POWER TO WALK AWAY............on the other hand I'm a righteous proponent of intuition over reason. If you can listen to everything everyone here is telling you and just hear it go in one ear out the other without any feelings of anger, defensiveness, self-contemptment than follow that concept. You asked so we answered, do what you will with it.MindOverMatter
Master Don Juan
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I'm not talking about the bible at all here (and for the record, I think the bible has some of the best and worst advice on sosuave, so I don't take it seriously either).
The fact you are in love is irrelavent. You can be in love and still retain your masculinity. What's amusing here is that you assume anyone who does not act feminine has probably never been in love.
Here's a little of my story. I've been in a LTR for ages now, with an amazing girl (the blonde girl in my sig). She cooks for me, cleans my appt, when I'm sick she comes over and brings me soup, etc. She calls me at least once or twice a day (and this is after almost a year of dating), and I'm always on her mind. She's completly loyal, amazing in bed, and we have a great connection. Like the same things, listen to the same music, and basically think the same way. And she's completly in love with me. She fell for me way before I started feeling that way towards her, but yes, I do love the girl. She is way better then any of my previous girlfriends, and is a total keeper.
That being said, I have yet to act feminine with her. What that means is, I can have a deep conversation with her without being an emotional mess that's on the verge of crying. If I act like an a$shole and make her cry, I don't freak out and panic, then "have" to apologize numerous times. If I'm in the wrong, an honest apology followed by physical intimacy is all it takes to make a girlfriend forget there was an incident.
But it's ok tho. Its very common for guys in north america to act feminine once they fall in love with a girl they think is "the one". And usually when they do, they always seem to have it in their head that what they have is more special then anything someone else has, or that no one is quite aware of the experiance they're going through. Because of that, they wont listen to people who have been there, and done that, and will keep doing what they're doing. Eventually, they learn it the hard way, on their own. So, just keep on doing what you are doing, and best of luck.
Peace.
The fact you are in love is irrelavent. You can be in love and still retain your masculinity. What's amusing here is that you assume anyone who does not act feminine has probably never been in love.
Here's a little of my story. I've been in a LTR for ages now, with an amazing girl (the blonde girl in my sig). She cooks for me, cleans my appt, when I'm sick she comes over and brings me soup, etc. She calls me at least once or twice a day (and this is after almost a year of dating), and I'm always on her mind. She's completly loyal, amazing in bed, and we have a great connection. Like the same things, listen to the same music, and basically think the same way. And she's completly in love with me. She fell for me way before I started feeling that way towards her, but yes, I do love the girl. She is way better then any of my previous girlfriends, and is a total keeper.
That being said, I have yet to act feminine with her. What that means is, I can have a deep conversation with her without being an emotional mess that's on the verge of crying. If I act like an a$shole and make her cry, I don't freak out and panic, then "have" to apologize numerous times. If I'm in the wrong, an honest apology followed by physical intimacy is all it takes to make a girlfriend forget there was an incident.
But it's ok tho. Its very common for guys in north america to act feminine once they fall in love with a girl they think is "the one". And usually when they do, they always seem to have it in their head that what they have is more special then anything someone else has, or that no one is quite aware of the experiance they're going through. Because of that, they wont listen to people who have been there, and done that, and will keep doing what they're doing. Eventually, they learn it the hard way, on their own. So, just keep on doing what you are doing, and best of luck.
Peace.
frivolousz21
Master Don Juan
alright Tough guy
frivolousz21
Master Don Juan
this is an email I got from her this morning:
Good morning my preciousness,
This morning i arose with a pleasant thought in mind. It poured inside my head,
just before I woke and sprinkled a comforting sensation that evenly distributed
itself to the very tips of my toes-This thought was of you. I miss you
sweetheart. And words cannot properly describe this deep affection I've
developed for you. You're smart, passionate, affectionate, SEXY, caring, strong.
All these things that make up you, are all the things I thought I could never
fall in love with, but here you are. Now. And i am so happy that we are we.
Here. Right now. You're in my head today, you were there yesturday. In all the
months ahead and years behind, you're here-chillin-inside my mind; my thoughts;
my heart...Because what we share is so amazing! And love is nothing until you
give it to or share it with another! I just adore believing that we're real.
Your eyes, your gentle touch has proved you true in all you say and do. Have a
wonderful day today. I know this email is more SAP from our love tree, but you
can't blame me!....Your sap has finally be stickin on me! Don't work too hard,
baby. And i don't ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever want this to
go away! Te-he! Now i wont say "love you" or "luv u" or I.L.Y. So hear me
out.....
I LOVE YOU!!!
We are good.
Love,
Janice
P.S.-Call me when your work day is through.
"I dont understand why I am a pyssy and being feminem?" because i show emotion!
so tell me how this email shows im hooked? or im afc?
Good morning my preciousness,
This morning i arose with a pleasant thought in mind. It poured inside my head,
just before I woke and sprinkled a comforting sensation that evenly distributed
itself to the very tips of my toes-This thought was of you. I miss you
sweetheart. And words cannot properly describe this deep affection I've
developed for you. You're smart, passionate, affectionate, SEXY, caring, strong.
All these things that make up you, are all the things I thought I could never
fall in love with, but here you are. Now. And i am so happy that we are we.
Here. Right now. You're in my head today, you were there yesturday. In all the
months ahead and years behind, you're here-chillin-inside my mind; my thoughts;
my heart...Because what we share is so amazing! And love is nothing until you
give it to or share it with another! I just adore believing that we're real.
Your eyes, your gentle touch has proved you true in all you say and do. Have a
wonderful day today. I know this email is more SAP from our love tree, but you
can't blame me!....Your sap has finally be stickin on me! Don't work too hard,
baby. And i don't ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever want this to
go away! Te-he! Now i wont say "love you" or "luv u" or I.L.Y. So hear me
out.....
I LOVE YOU!!!
We are good.
Love,
Janice
P.S.-Call me when your work day is through.
"I dont understand why I am a pyssy and being feminem?" because i show emotion!
so tell me how this email shows im hooked? or im afc?
MindOverMatter
Master Don Juan
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Bro, girls get infatuated as much as guys. Especially if they are inexperianced with relationships. Sooner or later though, everyone evolves from an inexperianced infatuated individual to a more independant mature person. It's great that this girl loves you and all, but you can get this same reaction out of her without being feminine, and it will prolong your relationship.
My 2c.
My 2c.
frivolousz21
Master Don Juan
how am I feminem?
do u know who **** Vermial is?
if u think that of me..u must think he needs to have a sex change?
yet he is a beloved repsected man by millions?
do u know who **** Vermial is?
if u think that of me..u must think he needs to have a sex change?
yet he is a beloved repsected man by millions?
frivolousz21
Master Don Juan
why did it end?
MindOverMatter
Master Don Juan
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if you are gonna model your behaviour after a nfl coach, at least pick one whose team will go all the way this season man.
i don't mean the feminine thing as an insult man, i'm on your side and am trying to help. but the fact is, saying "im in love, im in love, lalala", being on the verge of tears, and panicing everytime you think you have offended her is very feminine behaviour man. it's ok to have deep conversations, it's ok to care for the girl and let her know how you see her, but you are way past all that, and are living in infatuation land. it's like a drug almost, you know you may be heading into bad times getting so emotionally infatuated, but at the same time you are on such a high that you don't care whether or not it happens. the higher you go up, the longer the fall is gonna be.
i don't mean the feminine thing as an insult man, i'm on your side and am trying to help. but the fact is, saying "im in love, im in love, lalala", being on the verge of tears, and panicing everytime you think you have offended her is very feminine behaviour man. it's ok to have deep conversations, it's ok to care for the girl and let her know how you see her, but you are way past all that, and are living in infatuation land. it's like a drug almost, you know you may be heading into bad times getting so emotionally infatuated, but at the same time you are on such a high that you don't care whether or not it happens. the higher you go up, the longer the fall is gonna be.
frivolousz21
Master Don Juan
wait wwait!
you got me wrong
1. i didtn cry over that....i almost cried over other things(pasionate view of mine)..and that passion is what makes her and other women ive dated think im so strong..(im like vermial) i cant help that.
2. i was just wondering if a rose was in order..or a simple im sorry
3. and i didnt panic..this is blown out of proportion.
so in all im wondering how im so womenlike?
frivolousz21
Master Don Juan
and I wont...i told her i was sorry 1 time.i wont say it again....
I just think im getting a bad rep here..I mean i love her..im not blinded..ive been around the block...i hurt her feelings..shyt i just wanted to make it good.
friv: dont worry about it... you are not doing anything wrong. All you need to do is be careful not to become TOO emotional etc, and u'll be fine. As much as a woman loves an emotional man and a man that is sensitive etc, they also like it when a man is hard-ass at times, and all you need to do is level the 2 out
Laterz...
Laterz...
frivolousz21
Master Don Juan
friv: dont worry about it... you are not doing anything wrong. All you need to do is be careful not to become TOO emotional etc, and u'll be fine. As much as a woman loves an emotional man and a man that is sensitive etc, they also like it when a man is hard-ass at times, and all you need to do is level the 2 out
[/QUOTE]
thanks....thats about what I am..im not near as emotional directly towards her as it appears I am on here.
but I am passionatte like Vermial
[/QUOTE]
thanks....thats about what I am..im not near as emotional directly towards her as it appears I am on here.
but I am passionatte like Vermial
Desdinova
Master Don Juan
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It's always with the best of intentions. However, it's not your job to make your woman happy. That's her job. You're going to experience times when your woman is pissed off for no reason. There's nothing you can do but let her go through the motions. Leave her to soak in her pissy emotions. She'll get tired of it sooner or later and come out.
Ever hear this conversation?
Him: What's wrong
Her: (frowning) Nothing.
Trying to make it better is only going to get on her nerves. Walking away saying "Allright, if you need to talk, let me know" will suffice. When she's tired of soaking in piss, she'll come and talk.