I have no problem with her wanting to screw my best friend

[Luthor Rex]

I was reading Roissy today and ran across this link:

http://www.reddit.com/r/MensRights/comments/aha51/i_have_no_problem_with_her_wanting_to_screw_my/

Basically it's a story of a married man who got divorced and his wife raped him in family court. He paints the picture many men do: he didn't see it coming.

While I know it's true that we can't always see it coming, there are signs if you look for them and know what to look for. One of those signs is how the woman's family acts. In one of the comments the married man leaves he says:

The mother's mother is a wacky alcoholic and her father is old and distant (they're divorced). She has 2 siblings, neither of whom are parent material. They both have personal problems. (Brother, younger by 14 years, suffers psychosis (really), and the sister, 2 years older, is a heavy drinker. In other words the entire family has significant mental problems. I don't say that to be critical. It's just true.

This is one of those red flags I think a lot of us overlook. I know I have. Because of human nature you CAN judge a person in part by the company they keep and the family they have. Personality is largely heritable. Which means you get it through your family.

Yes I realize that just because your father & mother are nuts don't mean you will necessarily be... it just means you probably will be. Only in retrospect did he see it as a problem:

Going Waaaaaay back. She was a child of divorce. Happens a lot these days, and no disrespect to children of divorce. But right there, she is more likely to divorce. Also her parents were not on good terms. Another huge red flag that I just ignored, because I was in love. Since she was 6 years old, she never lived with her father. This is another bad sign in retrospect. She had no idea what a male head-of-household would be like. None whatsoever. She once told me that she watched her father punch her mother. I can imagine that must have been traumatic. She would have been six years old. Huge warning sign. She knows fathers strike mothers.

Even if she recognizes her family is nuts, the girls I have known have tended to be... no I'm sorry they have ALWAYS been unaware of their own craziness even if they can spot crazy in others.

So DJ's, judge her family and don't expect the apple to fall far from the tree.

 

[wjh]

I would find it very difficult not to murder her and gladly go to jail. I know that sounds extreme, but holy sh1t is this story terrible.

Taking your kids away - check.
Fvcking other men - check.
Ruining your life - check.
No sex - check.
Financial ruin - check.

and on and on.

But to add, I do agree with you, you could have probably seen a lot of this coming. It doesn't alter the fact that the system is screwed up and he was still a victim here though (assuming he's not lying or leaving out critical info).

 

[jophil28]

While I know it's true that we can't always see it coming, there are signs if you look for them and know what to look for. One of those signs is how the woman's family acts.

This is one of those red flags I think a lot of us overlook. I know I have. Because of human nature you CAN judge a person in part by the company they keep and the family they have.
So DJ's, judge her family and don't expect the apple to fall far from the tree.

This is truth ^^.
When you enter an LTR or a marriage, you forming a triumvirate with her family pathology as the third partner.
Never over estimate your game against the influence of her family's ' nurture'.

Crazy trumps game every time.