Hi. I came across this forum while looking for some way to ease and come to terms with what I was feeling. You guys seem really cool, so I was wondering whether you would mind giving me some advice?
I apologize for the long, long post but it's been really strange and I don't know what to cut out.
Ok. So, there is this girl I've liked for a long time. We are seniors and are graduating this year. Truthfully, we didn't start talking frequently until about 9-10 months ago (we've been in the same class for 1 1/2 years this June) and we've talked more and more as time passed. She is confident and outgoing, maybe bit tomboyish but really friendly and sporty too. I'm what you would call the, generally quiet type but not too bad, because I've gotten more comfortable and am not as timid as 2 years ago (she's asked me why I didn't relax sooner so we could've been better friends). I enjoy her company and she seems (seems being keyword) to enjoy mine, we joke and laugh and have a generally good time. Lately, she started getting closer and closer to me physically, punching me on the shoulder, forcing piggy back rides etc. so I thought she may actually like me, even though she's very forward with a lot of her close guy friends and doesn't shy away from physical contact.
One day I accidentally told her that the following week I would ask my date to prom (I was joking at first) Then kept attacking me in the halls and just begging me to tell her. She got even more persistent and one night after a school event, I told her that I would tell her. I thought, it maybe possible (though unlikely because I was a social gimp compared to her because how she acted that night.
The next day, I told her that if she wanted to know, she had to tell me who she was hoping would ask her. I reasoned that if she ever liked me or thought of us in anyway, she would not tell me. But she did.
I panicked and told her that I was going to ask her, but I didn't because I was afraid of making things awkward between us, as I valued her as a friend. To this, she exclaimed and asked me why I didn't ask her and why guys were so chicken to ask her and that that was the reason she was 'forever alone all this time' and asked me whether it was because she was intimidating. I answered no. She didn't let me say everything and said she would save a dance for me and that in the end our class (we have dual programs in our school and our class has only 9 ppl) would probably all go 'forever alone'. I recall now that during my very un-clear explanation, she started hugging herself with one arm. She seemed slightly nervous though her voice didn't show it. I hoped that I could finally move on after this...not the case.
Then I think I made the biggest mistake ever. A text from her led me to calling her and clearly explaining the earlier day again. I cleared up that I liked her, but then I added the bit about how I didn't ask her because of our friendship bit... because I thought it would be worse to go back on it. She kept repeating wow and said that she's never been so complimented in her life before. We ended our conversation and she texted me another thanks.
The next week (I confessed on Saturday and called her on Sunday), she started saying that she's best friends with one other guy, a close friend of mine in our class and is all over him, in a way. It wasn't just me as some other ppl noticed it too. But he wasn't the guy she said she liked. Over that week, she treated me different in school; it felt different at least.
At the end of the week, we had a class dinner to celebrate our break. That night she was extra flirty with the 'best friend'. She spoon fed me some ice-cream before leaving (she did to the 'best friend guy too') I got busted by another girl that night and I had to explain my whole confession event and asked her to keep it quiet. The girl told me (I didn't give up the guy's name) that the guy that my crush liked would probably not ask her to prom because he wasn't the type to. She told me that when the girls were speculating who would go with whom, they had said I would go with the girl I like at one point. I didn't press further.
5 days later the girl I like texts me about some work and we text all the way till late. She invites me to go get ice-cream with her. I was surprised and thought there would be other friends. On the day she turns up wearing a dress (she doesn't wear dresses normally, and casually just jeans and shirt) on her own. So we have our ice-cream, shop, look at a few dresses for prom and have dinner together. We talk about her life before moving here. Half-way through the evening she even invited me to try a coffee at another place some other time, and said she'd treat.
During the time, she was a lot calmer and less charged as she is in school normally. Funny thing, we've talked about her 'quiet' side that is noticed rarely, according to her. Before she left, I got her a pendant on the promise of the coffee (playfully) and she seemed happy. We left after spending a bit over 5 hours out together. Probably the most time we've had alone.
2 days later, I invited everyone over to my place for dinner (long time planned). She comes earlier (wearing the pendant) than everyone else, and when 'the best friend' arrives she comments how she's neither seen nor contacted him since the break started. During the dinner, every time someone mentioned a topic or joke we talked about the other day, she would start giggling, punching and slapping me and we would go in a mini laughing fit.
When I let everyone in my room, she jumps on my bed lays on my pillow. When they found my gloves (kickboxing gloves), she mock fought with others. Forcing me to join, she hit harder and more than with any of the others. I pick her up (can't hit a girl now can I?) and mock slam her on the bed. She comments that she would feel no guilt and found hitting me the easiest. Before we leave to go out, she jokes about how my bed would now smell like her and teases me how comfortable my bed was.
Then things go a bit sideways. A bit later I learn that she was missing a study session our class had planned because she was talking and apparently meeting with this one guy she met at a club (her friends don't approve because it was happening 'again' I don't know the details) for a 'picnic' to mark a month 'meeting' anniversary. According to her, from what I've heard, she was talking to the club guy 'again' because she was just being friendly.
Soon I learnt that she even had a 'boyfriend', someone from our school for about a month whom with she doesn't spend time with anymore, and this is while talking/(dating?) with the guy from the club and -neither- one of these guys is the guy she told me (and her friends) that she liked.
Later after clearing my head, I playfully suggested she wear a dress to the picnic should it be 'romantic' (I didn't know who it was with at the time of the text or about the 2 guys etc.) because she looked cuter in a different way. She texted me really late on the day of the picnic and said she took my advice in a way and wore a dress with jeans.
It hasn't even been a month since I told her I liked her. From what I know now, at the time I told her she had a guy, maybe 2 (school 'boyfriend' and club guy) already and liked another 3rd. This was the time when she exclaimed that she was 'forever alone for so long'.
What does this mean? I don't understand her. The 'best friend guy' told me later (he's a good friend of mine) that he liked her at one point too, did everything for her and then she just became touchy-feely with other guys in front of him. She knew he liked her because someone went behind his back and told her. She supposedly said that she wished he didn't like her to her other friend. The guy eventually thought it too complicated and became a bit distant from her and was just as surprised, when she started being 'best friends' with him all of a sudden. But they never had a confrontation and had remained friends all throughout everything, the difference was that the guy stopped trying to do everything for her and this was nearly an year ago. He was surprised when I told him about the ice-cream get together.
On the time we were out, I didn't spend on her(my friend did a lot when he liked her; too nice guy maybe?), except for the pendant which was cheap.
Most of the text conversation we have are initiated 50/50, but 99/100 start about work and then progresses to something else, if it does. Post-confession, I've noticed we've talked more frequently and, when we do about more substantial things and not just work every time.
It's like she is two different girls. One outgoing, outdoorsy, fun girl and another quieter, reading type. She's shown interest in games I play and even has asked me to show her how to play sometime, and we do share some interests and it seems she values my suggestions about books and comics, some of which she's eagerly read after my suggestion and she didn't seem to be the reading type at first.
But from what I know about her during our time out, she was considered a bit of a 'nerdy' girl before moving here, getting contacts, removing braces etc. in middle school and early high school. Now, she doesn't drink often and even then lightly on special events and in the gatherings I've been to, it's been this girl and I who don't drink. (I don't drink, nothing against people who do though).
I'm really sorry for the really long post, but I couldn't think of what to cut out. What do you think? Would you mind giving me some advice about what I can do?
I was thinking about asking her to meet me and just hang out and do something before our break ends, or should I just forget about her and move on? Any input would be greatly appreciated, this is the first time I've told someone I like and ever gone this far (if this is anything at all!).
I apologize for the long, long post but it's been really strange and I don't know what to cut out.
Ok. So, there is this girl I've liked for a long time. We are seniors and are graduating this year. Truthfully, we didn't start talking frequently until about 9-10 months ago (we've been in the same class for 1 1/2 years this June) and we've talked more and more as time passed. She is confident and outgoing, maybe bit tomboyish but really friendly and sporty too. I'm what you would call the, generally quiet type but not too bad, because I've gotten more comfortable and am not as timid as 2 years ago (she's asked me why I didn't relax sooner so we could've been better friends). I enjoy her company and she seems (seems being keyword) to enjoy mine, we joke and laugh and have a generally good time. Lately, she started getting closer and closer to me physically, punching me on the shoulder, forcing piggy back rides etc. so I thought she may actually like me, even though she's very forward with a lot of her close guy friends and doesn't shy away from physical contact.
One day I accidentally told her that the following week I would ask my date to prom (I was joking at first) Then kept attacking me in the halls and just begging me to tell her. She got even more persistent and one night after a school event, I told her that I would tell her. I thought, it maybe possible (though unlikely because I was a social gimp compared to her because how she acted that night.
The next day, I told her that if she wanted to know, she had to tell me who she was hoping would ask her. I reasoned that if she ever liked me or thought of us in anyway, she would not tell me. But she did.
I panicked and told her that I was going to ask her, but I didn't because I was afraid of making things awkward between us, as I valued her as a friend. To this, she exclaimed and asked me why I didn't ask her and why guys were so chicken to ask her and that that was the reason she was 'forever alone all this time' and asked me whether it was because she was intimidating. I answered no. She didn't let me say everything and said she would save a dance for me and that in the end our class (we have dual programs in our school and our class has only 9 ppl) would probably all go 'forever alone'. I recall now that during my very un-clear explanation, she started hugging herself with one arm. She seemed slightly nervous though her voice didn't show it. I hoped that I could finally move on after this...not the case.
Then I think I made the biggest mistake ever. A text from her led me to calling her and clearly explaining the earlier day again. I cleared up that I liked her, but then I added the bit about how I didn't ask her because of our friendship bit... because I thought it would be worse to go back on it. She kept repeating wow and said that she's never been so complimented in her life before. We ended our conversation and she texted me another thanks.
The next week (I confessed on Saturday and called her on Sunday), she started saying that she's best friends with one other guy, a close friend of mine in our class and is all over him, in a way. It wasn't just me as some other ppl noticed it too. But he wasn't the guy she said she liked. Over that week, she treated me different in school; it felt different at least.
At the end of the week, we had a class dinner to celebrate our break. That night she was extra flirty with the 'best friend'. She spoon fed me some ice-cream before leaving (she did to the 'best friend guy too') I got busted by another girl that night and I had to explain my whole confession event and asked her to keep it quiet. The girl told me (I didn't give up the guy's name) that the guy that my crush liked would probably not ask her to prom because he wasn't the type to. She told me that when the girls were speculating who would go with whom, they had said I would go with the girl I like at one point. I didn't press further.
5 days later the girl I like texts me about some work and we text all the way till late. She invites me to go get ice-cream with her. I was surprised and thought there would be other friends. On the day she turns up wearing a dress (she doesn't wear dresses normally, and casually just jeans and shirt) on her own. So we have our ice-cream, shop, look at a few dresses for prom and have dinner together. We talk about her life before moving here. Half-way through the evening she even invited me to try a coffee at another place some other time, and said she'd treat.
During the time, she was a lot calmer and less charged as she is in school normally. Funny thing, we've talked about her 'quiet' side that is noticed rarely, according to her. Before she left, I got her a pendant on the promise of the coffee (playfully) and she seemed happy. We left after spending a bit over 5 hours out together. Probably the most time we've had alone.
2 days later, I invited everyone over to my place for dinner (long time planned). She comes earlier (wearing the pendant) than everyone else, and when 'the best friend' arrives she comments how she's neither seen nor contacted him since the break started. During the dinner, every time someone mentioned a topic or joke we talked about the other day, she would start giggling, punching and slapping me and we would go in a mini laughing fit.
When I let everyone in my room, she jumps on my bed lays on my pillow. When they found my gloves (kickboxing gloves), she mock fought with others. Forcing me to join, she hit harder and more than with any of the others. I pick her up (can't hit a girl now can I?) and mock slam her on the bed. She comments that she would feel no guilt and found hitting me the easiest. Before we leave to go out, she jokes about how my bed would now smell like her and teases me how comfortable my bed was.
Then things go a bit sideways. A bit later I learn that she was missing a study session our class had planned because she was talking and apparently meeting with this one guy she met at a club (her friends don't approve because it was happening 'again' I don't know the details) for a 'picnic' to mark a month 'meeting' anniversary. According to her, from what I've heard, she was talking to the club guy 'again' because she was just being friendly.
Soon I learnt that she even had a 'boyfriend', someone from our school for about a month whom with she doesn't spend time with anymore, and this is while talking/(dating?) with the guy from the club and -neither- one of these guys is the guy she told me (and her friends) that she liked.
Later after clearing my head, I playfully suggested she wear a dress to the picnic should it be 'romantic' (I didn't know who it was with at the time of the text or about the 2 guys etc.) because she looked cuter in a different way. She texted me really late on the day of the picnic and said she took my advice in a way and wore a dress with jeans.
It hasn't even been a month since I told her I liked her. From what I know now, at the time I told her she had a guy, maybe 2 (school 'boyfriend' and club guy) already and liked another 3rd. This was the time when she exclaimed that she was 'forever alone for so long'.
What does this mean? I don't understand her. The 'best friend guy' told me later (he's a good friend of mine) that he liked her at one point too, did everything for her and then she just became touchy-feely with other guys in front of him. She knew he liked her because someone went behind his back and told her. She supposedly said that she wished he didn't like her to her other friend. The guy eventually thought it too complicated and became a bit distant from her and was just as surprised, when she started being 'best friends' with him all of a sudden. But they never had a confrontation and had remained friends all throughout everything, the difference was that the guy stopped trying to do everything for her and this was nearly an year ago. He was surprised when I told him about the ice-cream get together.
On the time we were out, I didn't spend on her(my friend did a lot when he liked her; too nice guy maybe?), except for the pendant which was cheap.
Most of the text conversation we have are initiated 50/50, but 99/100 start about work and then progresses to something else, if it does. Post-confession, I've noticed we've talked more frequently and, when we do about more substantial things and not just work every time.
It's like she is two different girls. One outgoing, outdoorsy, fun girl and another quieter, reading type. She's shown interest in games I play and even has asked me to show her how to play sometime, and we do share some interests and it seems she values my suggestions about books and comics, some of which she's eagerly read after my suggestion and she didn't seem to be the reading type at first.
But from what I know about her during our time out, she was considered a bit of a 'nerdy' girl before moving here, getting contacts, removing braces etc. in middle school and early high school. Now, she doesn't drink often and even then lightly on special events and in the gatherings I've been to, it's been this girl and I who don't drink. (I don't drink, nothing against people who do though).
I'm really sorry for the really long post, but I couldn't think of what to cut out. What do you think? Would you mind giving me some advice about what I can do?
I was thinking about asking her to meet me and just hang out and do something before our break ends, or should I just forget about her and move on? Any input would be greatly appreciated, this is the first time I've told someone I like and ever gone this far (if this is anything at all!).
