I have no fuc k ing idea how to get a social life going.

[thewarrior]

I'm twenty-four and live in a big city. All of my HS buddies moved on. I never went to college, and there's not many people I can interact with on my job that's in my peer group. I don't have any friends. I'm starting from scratch.

Based on the information I've given, how do I go about meeting people and developing a social life? I want to interact with males and females. I just don't know where to start. I gave up cold approaching. I need to be in situations where girls are relaxed and I'm relaxed. Most people who go to bars and clubs have friends. I don't have any friends and DON'T want to go into these environments by myself.

Can someone help me? I'm thinking about trying MeetUp.com but what else should I do? I've tried Craigslist. There were some ads with people looking for basketball partners, or board game groups... but I never get a response back after my initial email.

I'd like to volunteer (especially anything to do with animals), but again... don't know how or where to begin. Volunteering is a great place to meet women, or so I've been told.

I just need a push in the right direction. I know once I make a couple friends, it will snowball and the next thing I know, I'm meeting all kinds of people and best of all, I'll be meeting women.

Thanks!

P.S. If anyone lives in SE Pennsylvania and looking for a wingman or a new friend, PM me.

 

[Warrior74]

What is it that you like to do? List your hobbies/interest and find groups that are into that and join them.

What business are you in? Are there organizational groups in that business?

What young professionals groups are in your town?

 

[trent81]

I am moving into a big city soon, I have no idea how I'm going to meet people either. If you figure it out, let me know dude, the advantage is that you are younger than me.

 

[thewarrior]

What is it that you like to do? List your hobbies/interest and find groups that are into that and join them.

What business are you in? Are there organizational groups in that business?

What young professionals groups are in your town?

Okay...how do I find groups? Internet/newspaper/word of mouth?

My question sounds stupid but I really don't know where to begin.

 

[Nutz]

A) check out meetup.com groups

B) check out AFC Adam's videos from last years under 21 convention. great info there.

 

[Cinamon]

Have you thought about taking up an evening class. Something creative, anything from art to dance? You might meet people there.

 

[Jazzman19]

Oh crap...I knew I forgot to send someone a PM. I am sorry man, work got in the way. I will shoot you one later today. As for ideas, have you tried softball leagues? It sounds funny, but I have meet a lot of cool people by playing softball once a week with my cousins.

 

[newbie221]

If you want to voluntter then do it but don't do it just to pick up women. Do it at a place that you think you will enjoy. Join gym classes or martial arts or salsa dance or something... Decide what you think you'll enjoy doing and then try it out in a social setting...

 

[Alle_Gory]

If you find someone interesting to talk to, offer to hang out. Doesn't matter where you meet them.

I hang out with a couple of people from work, people from college, friends of friends... etc. Doesn't matter.

 

[daygameguy]

I'm twenty-four and live in a big city. All of my HS buddies moved on. I never went to college, and there's not many people I can interact with on my job that's in my peer group. I don't have any friends. I'm starting from scratch.

Based on the information I've given, how do I go about meeting people and developing a social life? I want to interact with males and females. I just don't know where to start. I gave up cold approaching. I need to be in situations where girls are relaxed and I'm relaxed. Most people who go to bars and clubs have friends. I don't have any friends and DON'T want to go into these environments by myself.

Can someone help me? I'm thinking about trying MeetUp.com but what else should I do? I've tried Craigslist. There were some ads with people looking for basketball partners, or board game groups... but I never get a response back after my initial email.

I'd like to volunteer (especially anything to do with animals), but again... don't know how or where to begin. Volunteering is a great place to meet women, or so I've been told.

I just need a push in the right direction. I know once I make a couple friends, it will snowball and the next thing I know, I'm meeting all kinds of people and best of all, I'll be meeting women.

Thanks!

P.S. If anyone lives in SE Pennsylvania and looking for a wingman or a new friend, PM me.

This the exact situation I am in right now.

You have an advantage that you are in a big city where you can do some day time street sarging. For me, day game is pretty much out of the question because I live outside the main city.

Well, joining clubs seems nice, but you know, if you work all day and then go to the gym for 2 hrs, it already has occupied your entire day, and you really won't have the energy or the time to go to a salsa class!

In my opinion, you should work hard, improve your current situation, and try to go to a college.

If that's not possible for you, then start cold approaching, and go out during the weekends, and talk to all the women on the streets, retail stores, bookstores, coffee shops, work places, etc. Again, you are in a big city, so you can do this.

Listen to AFC Adam's speech at the Under 21 Convention. Send me a PM if you ever wanna talk for some moral support. - I live in long island, NY.

 

[nightcrawler]

In the very same boat. The thing is that I am terribly shy and will absolutely not talk to people unless they address me first

does anybody have the adam video?

 

[Alle_Gory]

In the very same boat. The thing is that I am terribly shy and will absolutely not talk to people unless they address me first

You need to get over that. Most people are the same way and you're missing out IMO.

 

[Maxtro]

In the very same boat. The thing is that I am terribly shy and will absolutely not talk to people unless they address me first

does anybody have the adam video?

Here you go

 

[countermart]

Well for a start stop swearing so much it’s uncultured and so cuts you out of ever getting invited to up market things!

So shut the f... up and listen.

1. Start with this alright, it seems AFC and uncool but who cares: Go to ballroom dancing classes. It takes guts to actually turn up, but you will find its great fun and where else do you get to dance with 20 - 30 women a night from 18 – 80! It’s about the only thing I can find where they are always looking for more guys ('cept for gay bars, and the army) and most of the girls are on the market, and believe me they do not see you as AFC if you can dance. They see you as AFC if you can’t.

2. Years ago when I was just out of school I was in the same boat as you and my sister gave me some great advice. Go to everything you are invited to, every invitation that lands on your desk, or you see on a noticeboard. Everything. No matter how bad you think it will be. Even if you have to go alone, even if it takes guts.

3. When I did this, even when I went to something that was not much fun, half the time I would meet someone else and away it went to a fun thing in future. Often also the things I thought would be boring turned out to be great fun. I went from staying home every night, to going out every night of the week. I went from having no girlfriend to having two at the same time, which was darn complicated because the place I live is not that large and because I was out and about I lived in dread of meeting one when I was out with the other, or just seeing the two of them at the same thing...ah the stresses of life! Going to everything works.

The bottom line is if you are not going out a lot you are not putting in the effort. Yes, you are too f...ing lazy; or you are being too f...ing picky ( a Prince waiting for Cinderella to invite you to the f...ing Royal Ball and nothing less), it’ not going to happen....especially if you go on swearing so much.....Cinderella really hates that as much as a crack in her glass slipper.

So I look forward to seeing you at the “Save the Whales Convention” this week, and “How to Cook Whale Meat Course” next week, that way there should not be too much chance of crossing up on the same f...ing girls.

It was about being a f...ing "Yes Man", way before the movie.

Oh yeh, and not swearing so much..that will help you too.

Countermart

 

[thewarrior]

Well for a start stop swearing so much it’s uncultured and so cuts you out of ever getting invited to up market things!

So shut the f... up and listen.

1. Start with this alright, it seems AFC and uncool but who cares: Go to ballroom dancing classes. It takes guts to actually turn up, but you will find its great fun and where else do you get to dance with 20 - 30 women a night from 18 – 80! It’s about the only thing I can find where they are always looking for more guys ('cept for gay bars, and the army) and most of the girls are on the market, and believe me they do not see you as AFC if you can dance. They see you as AFC if you can’t.

2. Years ago when I was just out of school I was in the same boat as you and my sister gave me some great advice. Go to everything you are invited to, every invitation that lands on your desk, or you see on a noticeboard. Everything. No matter how bad you think it will be. Even if you have to go alone, even if it takes guts.

3. When I did this, even when I went to something that was not much fun, half the time I would meet someone else and away it went to a fun thing in future. Often also the things I thought would be boring turned out to be great fun. I went from staying home every night, to going out every night of the week. I went from having no girlfriend to having two at the same time, which was darn complicated because the place I live is not that large and because I was out and about I lived in dread of meeting one when I was out with the other, or just seeing the two of them at the same thing...ah the stresses of life! Going to everything works.

The bottom line is if you are not going out a lot you are not putting in the effort. Yes, you are too f...ing lazy; or you are being too f...ing picky ( a Prince waiting for Cinderella to invite you to the f...ing Royal Ball and nothing less), it’ not going to happen....especially if you go on swearing so much.....Cinderella really hates that as much as a crack in her glass slipper.

So I look forward to seeing you at the “Save the Whales Convention” this week, and “How to Cook Whale Meat Course” next week, that way there should not be too much chance of crossing up on the same f...ing girls.

It was about being a f...ing "Yes Man", way before the movie.

Oh yeh, and not swearing so much..that will help you too.

Countermart

I don't swear offline like I do online.

Ballroom dancing, huh?

 

[jophil28]

I don't swear offline like I do online.

Ballroom dancing, huh?

Yep, Ballroom Dancing is where the women are. Usually way more women that men.
Just go to a class and see for yourself.

OH, and like Countermutt said, women see you as an AFC if you cannot dance.
They love dance dudes.

BTW, did he mention your swearing?

 

[Kevin Feng]

Hey Buddy,

I just wrote a blog post on this, definitely check it out:

www.kevinfengvh1pickupartist.com , take the post constructively if it applies to you, but it should be a good start in your journey.

You've totally hit the hit the spot in your thought process, you need to be able to cultivate friends and if you can't do that, don't expect to cultivate women in your life. Being able to build a social circle is a prerequisite to having an abundance of women in your life.

This is something Johnny Wolf had me work on when I first started pick up back in L.A.

 

[Maxtro]

Kevin,

I read your blog. The overall idea of it is good but it's some details.

First off it seems like great advice if you want to be a part of the club scene.

I'm more interested in the second part

had a real good acquaintence in college, he wasn't particularly interesting in a one on one setting, but he was great and making events happen. He was the go to guy for all the parties and everyone knew him. He wans't good looking yet he always had women in his life.

Make yourself the go to guy, I'm not saying it's going to easy and it definitely takes time, but if you spend time doing this, it'll be much easier than micro-managing situations with women.

It does a lot for you:

1. Social Proofs you, you're the leader of men
2. Keeps you in state
3. Helps you meet women via social circle

Honestly, if you can't make friends, you're not going to get a girl, unless she's missing teeth or something is wrong with her.

Be sure to throw events, organize parties, etc etc, make a name for yourself.

The big question is how do you start? Don't forget that a person reading may have answered yes, no, no to your questions.

1. Do you creep people out?
2. Do you have a lot of friends?
3. Do you have girlfriends (or rather, friends that are girls)?

So how is a person who is already socially awkward supposed to start throwing parties if he doesn't know anybody?

I just came up with an interesting question. How do college freshmen start going to and throwing parties? They are in a situation where they don't know anybody, so how do they do it?

 

[FairShake]

You have to make over your personality. I'm assuming something here so, if I'm wrong, skip this. But if I'm right, you probably have some personality flaws that keep you from having a large number of associates. Maybe you talk too much or too little. Maybe you're too shy or too friendly/try hard. Maybe you're too weird or just too boring. Ironically, these three dichotomies are related. If you're one, you're probably the other two as well. Figure out which one you fall in and try and change it.

Once you have a good personality makeover start making plans with people. One, two, or three people at a time. You can do so much bonding at work or at school but believe me, it's that off time that makes a good friend or associate. Get some drinks, play some pool, basketball, poker, things dudes do. Help them out and ask THEM for help. That's a big one. People bond that way.

Once you've got alot of numbers in your phone, invite them to a party. You become the center of a small network that way and you'll always have someone to do something with. I'd say the number one thing you need is BALLS. Don't worry about not impressing people or not having a good time with someone. It happens and it's only 50% your fault.

 

[Krock]

I just downloaded an ebook about this sort of thing recently that might help you, if you're interested send me a PM with your email or AIM and I'll ship it over.