Legend, you've got to lay off on yourself man. You're , like, mentally flogging yourself here over this situation. This thing with this girl seems to have brought up tons of other stuff that is more deep-seated (as some other poster here rightly called it). No you're not crazy. Far from it; crazy people would simply call us all crazy and go on about their business or whatever they're going to do. You may have some issues however , by the sounds of your posts, that sound like , at least in my opinion, they could use to be explained to someone like either a psychologist or therapist, or a regular psychiatrist. In that latter case, he can and most likely will prescribe something. So you have to consider are you willing to go onto an anti-depressant type of drug over this? Do you think it's serious enough for that? Those are questions you have to consider if you're considering professional help, which you mentioned you were. You've had two major losses now (your father, sorry about that by the way, and now this situation) and two losses could be enough to trigger a full-fledged clinical depression in anyone. In all seriousness, if you were my brother or close friend or something, and you were telling me what you're posting on this board, I would say that I'd like to set you up to see at least a talk-therapist one day, asap. It won't hurt. And you won't be ready for DJ'ing and sarging, etc, until you get your own mind straight first. Hope you feel better. ~Dino
