I have hit a plateau in life - How do I go to the next level?

[Tempest]

I'm at a point in my life where I've hit a plateau over the last year.

I haven't been living life to my standards or how I want to. I've gained negative habits that are holding me back on a day to day basis and have been in a rut, despite all the effort and energy I put in towards getting myself back to where I want to be.

Can any of you relate to this? I'm posting this because I'm sure many of you have been through this before and can perhaps offer coaching/feedback/advice on what I can do.

First, let me share my story:

I got into self-improvement at a young age (at 17) when I came across Tony Robbins and realized I could change my life. I also got into David D. I started first with my dating life and have been working on it for 6+ years and transformed it completely. I also transformed other areas of my life, such as my health, body, started a successful business at a young age, etc...

I got to a point about a year and a half ago when I was living a life that I originally thought to be a dream in high school. I had an amazing girlfriend and was totally in love, had a amazing successful business and was changing peoples lives, was making decent money, had a great apartment with a great view downtown, was healthy, had great friends, and making a lot of progress.

In January of 2009 I hit rock bottom. My girlfriend broke up with me and I was an emotional wreck for a few months. I used a lot of the resources I had (books, Tony Robbins, etc..) to help get me through that period. I took a big break from work and just spent time being lazy and doing whatever to let the emotions pass. It haunted me for months, though. As a result, my business suffered. I was less motivated and wasn't taking action like I used to.

I ended up getting back into meeting women and it didn't take long before I was meeting girls again and getting success. I was hooking up obsessionally and dating some great women, but it wasn't the same and I wasn't enjoying it much. I didn't care for just hooking up at clubs like I used to, it wasn't fulfilling for me.

The last year I got extremely motivated to get into working out and gained about 30-40 lbs of size. I look great today and it's something amazing that I got out of it.

I did some travelling, went to Cuba for a few weeks, lived in California for 3 months, and spent time re-evaluating my life. I went through many ups and downs. It's been up and down for the last year and a half.

The struggle I deal with is getting back to the level and standard that I was at before. It's been too long. I immerse myself with self-help and am constantly trying to find ways to get back there. But, it's so inconsistent.

I have many days where I just sit around and do nothing. I'll end up playing video games online, or looking up porn, or sitting around on Facebook, or sleeping in... this is painful for me because I know I should be taking action and living my life, instead of wasting time away. I will then have another day where I'm on fire and doing great and making progress.

I'm not sure what the deal is... I've tried so many things to get back on track, but nothing seems to be working. I'm not as happy as I once used to be and don't seem to be making the same levels of progress or growth. I'm finding it challenging to find the motivation that I had when I was 17 to change my life, or the years after that. I've hit a plateau.

If you've read this far, I would greatly appreciate you taking a moment to post a comment or reply.

ANY words of wisdom, insight, experience, knowledge, advice, etc.. would be useful to my situation and greatly appreciated.

If you're reading this, hit reply and let me know what you think.

Thanks for your time!

 

[1 Lucky FLIP]

Sounds like what I'm going through currently minus the successful business and successes you had in your past. A good start is to right down your goals with the necessary steps to achieve them. The important thing(which I'm currently working) is to take ACTION. Make sure you know what you want in life. In the past, I found myself lazy with similar bad habits you have described. Currently, I'm still trying to get out of it. Right now my focus is tuned to getting good sleep and consistent work schedule (I'm currently self-employed).

I think you realize what is necessary, but it sounds like you have turned into being more lazy than you were in the past. But take my advice for a grain of salt...

 

[squirrels]

LOL...you got to a point where you were almost starting to BELIEVE that you had control over your own destiny, the whole Pook "as you think, so shall you become" thing, the so-called Law of Attraction.

Then something happened, and the castle of cards came crashing down.

Now it's hard to get motivated because you realize, no matter what you do, it's never going to satisfy you, and all you're doing is setting yourself up for failure somewhere down the road. You're afraid to invest so much time in yourself because you feel like it's not going to matter in the end anyway...everything's gonna fall apart?

If that's close to what you're feeling, then yes, I feel you...unfortunately I don't have the answer.

If it's not...then I'm not sure.

I have lost all faith in the potential of humanity...and, with that, all faith in myself. After all...I'm only human.

I could go on...but no one cares.

 

[scorpio1138]

I hear what your saying, I really do.

Similar thing happened to me in my early 20's, then by
the time I was 30 I was at rock bottom.

I've made things much better... most of the way there now. I go to the gym at least 4 days a week and workout really hard. I lost a ton of weight last year and that made a huge difference. Nobody recognizes me and says I look 10 years younger.

You gotta keep that up...not working out has a way of letting the depression set back in.

The other parts...well you just gotta keep your chin up and GET OUT of your house during the day. Staying in won't help you. Tell your self something great is going to happen soon. That helps me.

Time is on your side, you're only 23. I'm enjoying my 30's a lot more than I did my 20's (a lot of people feel that way too)

Your best days are yet to come...

hope that helps.

 

[sodbuster]

It's hard to keep pushing all your life. Just like anything else, you need to take a break from it all[usually called a vacation]. When you get back,you get back to work. You shake your life up a bit and have a set date to get back to work.When you lay around the house,you never leave and refresh and recharge. You are still in your same life. Change something, you are in a rut-a rut is only 2 sides short of a grave.

 

[wait_out]

I have lost all faith in the potential of humanity...and, with that, all faith in myself. After all...I'm only human.

Squirrels -- with all due respect, it's more like you lose faith in yourself -- then humanity. Does anybody NOT project on others? Can you not influence humanity in your image? If you're ahead of the pack, perhaps you feel a certain inner obligation to become a leader. Well... are you?

For example, we're surrounded with obviously broken social, political, and economic systems -- is the problem the systems or the people? Have you lost faith in YOUR ability to change things? Are you afraid of trying?

happiness to a large degree is a matter of perspective...

 

[stayfly]

I think you are close to living your ideal life bro.

If I was you I'd look at what new things can you get excited about like what can you learn and what big goals can you set.

Also, try and develop the habit of being grateful for all the positive things in your life. On top of this, try living in the now and enjoying the moment as much as possible.

Finally, find a cause that's bigger than you that you can contribute too like doing some volunteer work or similar.

I hope that help brother.

 

[kingsam]

I'm not as happy as I once used to be and don't seem to be making the same levels of progress or growth. I'm finding it challenging to find the motivation that I had when I was 17 to change my life, or the years after that. I've hit a plateau.

think about how teeneagers think they are "so in love" but its only coz its tehir first love and thier inexperience...!

Id bet that you thought your life was so amazing as you hadnt expreeinced much of life yet... you reminise about it thru a filter, filtering out the bad things (coz of inexperience?)...and if you looked objectively at it now, it woudlnt be quite as perfect as you remember it. life was a lot simpler then, your goals lower...

when your younger simple things can be big acheivement, such as being ablke to drive for the first time, nowdays you take it for granted, as you get older the bar gets raised thats natural...

get new hobbies, join new socail groups, set some new targets for your business ...etc...new things you can work towards?

 

[squirrels]

Squirrels -- with all due respect, it's more like you lose faith in yourself -- then humanity. Does anybody NOT project on others? Can you not influence humanity in your image? If you're ahead of the pack, perhaps you feel a certain inner obligation to become a leader. Well... are you?

For example, we're surrounded with obviously broken social, political, and economic systems -- is the problem the systems or the people? Have you lost faith in YOUR ability to change things? Are you afraid of trying?

happiness to a large degree is a matter of perspective...

I'm not sure which came first...chicken or egg.

Maybe you're right. I see things in myself that I don't like. Then I look to others for inspiration on what I should TRY to be, and I see the same flaws in them.

I can't change this crap. I don't even see the point in trying.

Just over 2 centuries ago, a bunch of visionaries created a new country that became the most powerful in the world, and now we watch as those who are in power proceed to p!ss all over every ideal that those men once stood for and run said country into the ground...to the sound of thunderous applause.

About 40 years ago, this world put a man on the moon. Since those days, we've never been back. Never bothered to see if we could exploit those resources, expand our population. Then you learn it was never about "discovery" or "expansion"...it was a side-effect of testing delivery mechanisms for nuclear weapons. It was all about showing the Russians, "Hey, if we can put a man up HERE, imagine what we could drop in your backyard!"

I can't even find inspiration on this forum any more. I blame myself partly for that...my game has gone soft. But before, when I came here, there were others to inspire me. I wanted to be one of those inspirational figures here, one day...but no one here wants my help. Hell, I can't even help myself. The "sexual revolution" is dead...let's all get married and breed before we die, otherwise we won't have anyone to remember us for two generations before we are forgotten and time sh*ts on our graves.

Yes, I'm angry at myself. And I'm angry at everyone else. This world sucks. I could be "happy". But I feel like it would be inappropriate, given the state of our existence as human beings.

All I do now is ride motorcycles. The asphalt doesn't lie...there's more truth in 10 feet of it than in the 6 billion people of the human race.

Sh*t, I should use that as my sig on another forum.

I still don't know what the hell I want out of this life. I mean, I envy all you guys who are running your own businesses, trying to do what you love, what you really WANT to do. I don't want to do anything any more. This world has jack-sh*t for me. I have more than most people EVER will, and it's wasted on me. The things I "love doing" aren't good enough to be passions or life-callings. They're just games. The things I'm GOOD at doing...one day they'll write computer programs that will do them for me.

Creativity is the only trait that is worth anything to human beings...and I, along with almost everyone I meet, don't have it. :woo: It's neither encouraged nor welcomed until maybe some time in the future, when you're broken and hopeless, someone MIGHT recognize it.