I have a perfect girl - now what?

S Disko

New Member
Joined
Dec 2, 2016
Messages
5
Reaction score
0
Age
40
This is my first post. It's a long one but I hope it stirs up some good debate.

I'm almost 33. I'm educated, fit, 6 feet tall, and I dress well. I work at a tech start up that's in the news every day. I make well over 6 figures a year. I'm well connected in my city, with enough social affluence to get into the right bars and private members clubs. My friends are all the same. I've slept with over 100 women.

I read "The Game" in college and but probably only really swallowed the red pill in the last 4 years or so (turning 30 brings wisdom). Everything before that I guess you could call (somewhat) natural game, though I've definitely made some AFC moves in my time (I was Cap'n Save a Ho in my previous LTR)

I picked up Rollo's book because I wanted to find some male perspective on the when that "right time" is to think about the idea of marriage, children etc. because my girlfriend is slowly starting to put some pressure on about moving in together, which is a slippery slope to the rest. Everything I could find online on the matter was ridiculously feminized. The part when Rollo writes up an online dating post about what his perfect girl would floored me because - I basically have that girl. Here's an abbreviated description from the book, those that have read it can skip past:

"5'5 or taller...lives close enough t me to be at my house within 10 minutes after I make the call, genuinely passionate, intelligent enough to be good company, sexually insatiable, and VERY attractive...Must be employed but not so well as you'll interfere with our sexual activities, family oreintated, open to spontaneous sex...likes to camp (in the nude), knows not to complain when I go to play golf...
She must want children after 33 if at all, and only after she's proven to be a good mother and faithful wife, must be a lady of class and know when the right time is to speak and not to speak, unexpectedly texts me nudes, understands that the best gift she can give me is expressing her desire to to **** me like a wild animal...
Must be respectful of my decisions being final, can't take herself too seriously and thinks the world of me, I'm not interested in anyone over 31..."


My girl is 5'7, a size 0 waist, a perfect C cup, and is easily the best lay of my life - she's down for stuff I'm not even into, and even wants to bang more than I do. She works in fashion, so dresses super well. She's equal parts lady in the street, freak in the bed, intelligent and loving.

And she's cool as fvck - everyone tell me so, even alphas. Not like "let's me watch the game" cool. Like is connected enough in the city to get me into all the fashion parties, never gets mad at me, and buys me $3,000 leather jackets cool. In fact when I first told a friend of mine I was dating her he said:

"HER - you're dating HER? That girl is the coolest girl in the city, you'll never find any as cool as her, maybe in New York, but not here. A friend of mine (her ex) is still kicking himself that he fvcked it up with her" - and both of this guy and her ex are first class Alphas.

On top of this, her dad is rich, and it all flows to her being the only child. She even grew up poor since her dad didn't make his money until she was a teenager so she miraculously isn't spoiled and knows the value of money.

The only problem here is that she's 15 months older than me, so she's just turned 34. That said, I've slept with 26 year olds who weren't a fit and tight as she is now, so physically it's astounding. Must be her eastern European genes.

She wants me to move in with her in her 2 bedroom penthouse. He dad owns it outright so I wouldn't even have to pay rent (which saves me 20k a year where I live). She wants to have kids by the time she's 36 (naturally), which would make me 35. So I know that if I move in with her, I'm pretty much agreeing to marry her and knock her up soon thereafter. She'd make a great mother, and I'd be marrying up. If we ever divorced I'd probably be better off since she's worth more that me (today).

I've spoken to some older married guys with kids and they think I'm crazy to hesitate on what they see as a "great life" with her. I probably pictured myself having a kid closer to me being 37 or 38 so I definitely don't feel like I want that right now so my situation is this:

I could stop wasting her time, break up with her, and continue living the life for another few years. But I'm worried that I would regret this situation I'm giving up. Not like a "she's a unique snowflake" situation - like "my girl is cool, defies genetics, is insatiable/rich, and would be a great mom" situation. She's even got the money and the inclination get implants and the tummy tuck after kids. I could go out tomorrow and find a 24 year old, but not with the same situation as this.

So do I enter into the next lifestage earlier than I would have wanted to take advantage of all this? Or do I walk away and keep living the red pill life that I love?

Any advice is welcome - especially from guys my age and older who may have been through similar situations.
 
Last edited:

S Disko

New Member
Joined
Dec 2, 2016
Messages
5
Reaction score
0
Age
40
Good perspective. I should clarify that she's actually not pushing for the marriage piece. She just knows she wants a family - she's somewhat indifferent about marriage.
 

daddymonsterpoodle

Master Don Juan
Joined
Dec 9, 2015
Messages
714
Reaction score
433
Age
54
There is no perfect girl although she sounds pretty cool. It sounds like a pretty good situation. Why do you want to fark it up with marriage, especially if she isn't into it.
 

taiyuu_otoko

Master Don Juan
Joined
Jan 10, 2008
Messages
5,350
Reaction score
3,986
Location
象外
Tough decision. No easy answer. Either way you will always wonder what it would have been like had you chosen the "other" path.

I'd suggest keep moving forward with this girl, but with eyes wide open. If she's not pushing marriage, don't worry about it. However, be careful as seeing "perfection" as it is described by others.

HOWEVER, I must say this:

If's she's 34 and wants to have kids (plural) by the time she's 36, she is in a hurry to get pregnant. And if she's likely had that mindset since she past thirty.

Girls that want to get pregnant are like guys who want to get laid. Behavior changes on a subconscious level to get that done. Which means AFTER "that" is done, the behavior reverts to more "normal" behavior.

So however PERFECT she is now, she'll be LESS PERFECT once the kids come, if you keep at it.

The IDEAL SITUATION is a guy keeps dating, and building up his CRITERIA for the woman he'll settle down with.

Ask yourself this:

How much is her "perfection" described by YOU, or how much of it is described by OTHERS?

Also, how much of her behavior do you think is motivated by a desire to make you want to get her pregnant?

After the kids come, will she still buy you 3K jackets? Get you into parties? Keep her body the way it is? How is her character? How does she handle things when they go off the rails?

If you were stuck in a zombie apocalypse, would she be an asset or a liability?

Take an honest look about the things you like about her NOW and try to imagine as ACCURATELY as possible whether or not those traits will still exist after the kids come.

Also, take a hard look at the potential alternative.

Five years from now you'll likely be making a lot more money. And you'll still be able to pull twenty years olds. AND your "game" will have significantly improved, increasing your likelihood of finding an IDEAL WOMAN based on YOUR criteria, not those of guys who write books or older married guys who are thinking hindsight.
 

Tenacity

Banned
Joined
Jun 23, 2014
Messages
3,926
Reaction score
2,194
This is my first post. It's a long one but I hope it stirs up some good debate.

I'm almost 33. I'm educated, fit, 6 feet tall, and I dress well. I work at a tech start up that's in the news every day. I make well over 6 figures a year. I'm well connected in my city, with enough social affluence to get into the right bars and private members clubs. My friends are all the same. I've slept with over 100 women.
Are you in Finance by any chance? We can link up on LinkedIn if you want.

I read through most of the post, there's no perfect girl my friend. Also, I would never move in with a woman, it's just too risky.
 

BeExcellent

Master Don Juan
Joined
Dec 16, 2015
Messages
4,727
Reaction score
6,716
Age
55
Advice from the old lady:

She sounds cool and like a lot of fun but the clock is certainly ticking as you know. If she takes care of her body now and cares what she looks like chances are good she is going to be highly motivated to get back into pre-birth shape, especially if she is a socialite. If she loves sex, she will still love it during pregnancy and after childbirth. She will want her body back because it is part of her identity as a sexually alluring woman. Here are a few comments that you might consider as you contemplate the matter.

1. Be wary of Daddy Warbucks. You would be living in HIS property. I'd advise keeping your own place. The man I see married a woman like you describe. Well known in social circles. His ex wife's family net worth is in the tens of millions. The divorce he went through was as much an unravelling of him from his father-in-law (a serious control freak) as from the BPD princess bride (Thankfully it doesn't sound like you are dealing with a BPD here). The father-in-law exerted tremendous control over the marriage. The father-in-law also has unlimited funds for legal fees and has no compunction whatsoever about screwing over his son-in-law financially. This is what you could get when you marry rich IF you divorce. You are unlikely to have the kind of control over your life that you might like and the wealthy family has enough money to drag on legal proceedings and exhaust you financially. Wealthy fathers look after their daughters at the expense of the son-in-law in many cases to one degree or another. So bear that in mind. If you marry you marry the family and that means her dad.

2. She may hesitate about marriage because it isn't a good deal for the high asset partner. She would be the high asset partner. I would suggest she is aware of this. Why not just father children and get a good custody agreement drawn up while everyone is getting along just fine? That way two things happen: A. YOUR offspring are legit heirs to the fortune and B. IF things get sideways an agreement is already in place.

3. Always keep working and having your own means to support yourself. Even if she has more than you she still must respect you as a man for things to be successful. So you need to maintain your own life, your own friends, your own hobbies and you own career outside of her. Do not get lazy; do not get complacent. Do not become a "YES" man. It starts slowly and creeps in so beware. Don't wake up one day and realize she no longer respects you. Don't be that guy.

4. If you have children with her understand that she is going to drive many of the decisions about the children. Things like where they go to school, what doctor they see, what nanny gets hired (because she will have domestic help). If you protest the response will often be "Oh don't worry, I'll pay for it". You need to be sure you have someone in her who is going to make good decisions about childrearing because she is going to take ownership of many of those decisions. This behavior may spill over to vacation destinations and holidays with her driving decisions about who the kids spend the holidays with etc.

5. Spend your money on her from time to time. In a partnership where there is a substantial difference in financial means it is easy for the higher asset partner to always pick up the check, pay for the cool or expensive stuff and therefore it is also easy for that to develop into an expectation. If you start expecting she will start feeling taken for granted/taken advantage of. Her respect for you will start eroding at the same time. What often happens when the higher asset partner constantly pays, is that the higher asset partner begins to feel entitled to make decisions regarding money. Things like what home to buy, what vacation to take, what car to buy etc. It is in this way that money can become an issue. So don't let her feel taken for granted or start tying decisional control to her bigger pocketbook.

Enjoy yourself and enjoy her. Childrearing and marriage are legal partnership agreements and need to be considered as such. Ideally you both gain something from the association, but you must move forward with your eyes wide open to avoid the pitfalls, whether you decide getting married is the best decision or not.
 

S Disko

New Member
Joined
Dec 2, 2016
Messages
5
Reaction score
0
Age
40
Thanks for the comments everyone! Some replies here:

There is no perfect girl although she sounds pretty cool. It sounds like a pretty good situation. Why do you want to fark it up with marriage, especially if she isn't into it.
That is probably an option, she's not a traditionalist, a "marriage-less family" situation could work.

Then don't marry her, she doesn't really want a family or marriage it's just biology and the wall talking at this point. How long have you been together?
Almost 2 years.

Tough decision. No easy answer. Either way you will always wonder what it would have been like had you chosen the "other" path.

How much is her "perfection" described by YOU, or how much of it is described by OTHERS?

Also, how much of her behavior do you think is motivated by a desire to make you want to get her pregnant?

After the kids come, will she still buy you 3K jackets? Get you into parties? Keep her body the way it is? How is her character? How does she handle things when they go off the rails?

Also, take a hard look at the potential alternative.

Five years from now you'll likely be making a lot more money. And you'll still be able to pull twenty years olds. AND your "game" will have significantly improved, increasing your likelihood of finding an IDEAL WOMAN based on YOUR criteria, not those of guys who write books or older married guys who are thinking hindsight.
Great questions. As far as the "perfection" - we share a lot of the same interests, world views, sense of humour, etc. As far as her character, I was in between jobs for a bit earlier this year and she was massively supportive (not financially, I had enough saved, so could handle that part myself), but I got a glimpse of what it might be like if I ever hit a hard spot, and above and beyond in the emotional and mental support categories. I joke that if we ever had kids that I would help her pay for a trainer to get her body back as "an investment in the marriage" and she's down to do the work in the gym. All that said I'm hyper aware of the potential alternative you're describing - which why I'm struggling here. Great perspective on how much of her behaviour is motivated by the pregnancy piece - I'll keep this in mind.

Are you in Finance by any chance? We can link up on LinkedIn if you want.

I read through most of the post, there's no perfect girl my friend. Also, I would never move in with a woman, it's just too risky.
Not in finance, no. I'd prefer not to move in with her, I'd sooner have us to find a new place that's OURS not hers and have expressed this. I find it emasculating, and don't want to live in her daddy's place. But she just moved in, she's in the middle of designing it to be the way she wants it and wants to at least live in it for a bit after putting that work in, which I can understand. So the move in there would be temporary (and rent free), until we got our own place on our terms. I've explained to her that she could rent out her current place, pitch in for rent on a place that's ours, and still MAKE money so I'm confident this would happen. I would put a time limit on living in that place - probably 6 months.

Advice from the old lady:

She sounds cool and like a lot of fun but the clock is certainly ticking as you know. If she takes care of her body now and cares what she looks like chances are good she is going to be highly motivated to get back into pre-birth shape, especially if she is a socialite. If she loves sex, she will still love it during pregnancy and after childbirth. She will want her body back because it is part of her identity as a sexually alluring woman. Here are a few comments that you might consider as you contemplate the matter.

1. Be wary of Daddy Warbucks. You would be living in HIS property. I'd advise keeping your own place. The man I see married a woman like you describe. Well known in social circles. His ex wife's family net worth is in the tens of millions. The divorce he went through was as much an unravelling of him from his father-in-law (a serious control freak) as from the BPD princess bride (Thankfully it doesn't sound like you are dealing with a BPD here). The father-in-law exerted tremendous control over the marriage. The father-in-law also has unlimited funds for legal fees and has no compunction whatsoever about screwing over his son-in-law financially. This is what you could get when you marry rich IF you divorce. You are unlikely to have the kind of control over your life that you might like and the wealthy family has enough money to drag on legal proceedings and exhaust you financially. Wealthy fathers look after their daughters at the expense of the son-in-law in many cases to one degree or another. So bear that in mind. If you marry you marry the family and that means her dad.

2. She may hesitate about marriage because it isn't a good deal for the high asset partner. She would be the high asset partner. I would suggest she is aware of this. Why not just father children and get a good custody agreement drawn up while everyone is getting along just fine? That way two things happen: A. YOUR offspring are legit heirs to the fortune and B. IF things get sideways an agreement is already in place.

3. Always keep working and having your own means to support yourself. Even if she has more than you she still must respect you as a man for things to be successful. So you need to maintain your own life, your own friends, your own hobbies and you own career outside of her. Do not get lazy; do not get complacent. Do not become a "YES" man. It starts slowly and creeps in so beware. Don't wake up one day and realize she no longer respects you. Don't be that guy.

4. If you have children with her understand that she is going to drive many of the decisions about the children. Things like where they go to school, what doctor they see, what nanny gets hired (because she will have domestic help). If you protest the response will often be "Oh don't worry, I'll pay for it". You need to be sure you have someone in her who is going to make good decisions about childrearing because she is going to take ownership of many of those decisions. This behavior may spill over to vacation destinations and holidays with her driving decisions about who the kids spend the holidays with etc.

5. Spend your money on her from time to time. In a partnership where there is a substantial difference in financial means it is easy for the higher asset partner to always pick up the check, pay for the cool or expensive stuff and therefore it is also easy for that to develop into an expectation. If you start expecting she will start feeling taken for granted/taken advantage of. Her respect for you will start eroding at the same time. What often happens when the higher asset partner constantly pays, is that the higher asset partner begins to feel entitled to make decisions regarding money. Things like what home to buy, what vacation to take, what car to buy etc. It is in this way that money can become an issue. So don't let her feel taken for granted or start tying decisional control to her bigger pocketbook.

Enjoy yourself and enjoy her. Childrearing and marriage are legal partnership agreements and need to be considered as such. Ideally you both gain something from the association, but you must move forward with your eyes wide open to avoid the pitfalls, whether you decide getting married is the best decision or not.
A woman's perspective - awesome! She definitely has a strong link between her body and sex, so that's some encouraging perspective. On each of your points:

1) Interesting thoughts about the dad - in this case he's rich but not THAT rich, if all goes well in my career I should be worth as much/more than him within a decade or so.
2) While she's worth more than me through inheritance now, I do make more than double what she makes in income and have the runway to be worth as much as her, so we'd be going in somewhat equal asset wise (which is why marriage with her wouldn't be THAT risky, especially compared to most other situations). But that is a VERY interesting legal set up re the custody agreement - thanks!
3) This goes without saying and is already in my nature;)
4) Good call, we agree on most of this stuff when we discuss other people's relationship/children situations, so I think we'd be ok here. We also have the same travel passions (part of why we were attracted to each other)
5) Totally with you - it's a two way street here. I got a jacket, she got a Tiffany's necklace. I'd be emasculated otherwise and would hate it.

Hope this helps give more insight everyone!
 

Scars

Master Don Juan
Joined
Jun 20, 2007
Messages
2,153
Reaction score
1,012
Age
34
Location
Phoenix
Any girl I thought was "perfect" or spoke highly of like this always ended up bad.. very bad. She is just good at projecting. It's not as bad when you know a girl is shady in the beginning, you kinda already know what to expect.. but the girls you think are "perfect", the one you are idolizing now... those are the ones that sting the most. It may not happen right away.. could be months, or years.. but prepare yourself my friend.. don't lose your frame. Learn from my mistake.
 

Desdinova

Master Don Juan
Joined
Nov 15, 2004
Messages
11,639
Reaction score
4,717
"5'5 or taller.
What does height have to do with anything???

She must want children after 33 if at all,
Women should be wanting children. Period. If they don't want children, then there's likely something wrong with their genetics or something wrong psychologically. 33 is also too late. A woman is ready to have children at age 27.

My girl is 5'7, a size 0 waist, a perfect C cup,
Again, this has nothing to do with her qualifications as an ideal woman. These are your physical preferences.

And she's cool as fvck - everyone tell me so, even alphas. Not like "let's me watch the game" cool. Like is connected enough in the city to get me into all the fashion parties, never gets mad at me, and buys me $3,000 leather jackets cool.
This is IMO a red flag. She's a social butterfly and likes to blow money. My preferred woman would prefer staying at home with an occasional night out with her female friends, and know how to save money and be thrifty.

On top of this, her dad is rich, and it all flows to her being the only child.
This is also a red flag. My ex's parents (who were divorced) were independently wealthy. They spoiled the 5hit out of her. She has absolutely no concept of money nor responsibility because her parents took care of everything.

The only problem here is that she's 15 months older than me, so she's just turned 34.
At age 34, you're likely not at the top of her high score list. She needs to be about 15 years younger in order for you to be her number one priority in life.

She wants me to move in with her in her 2 bedroom penthouse.
Moving into her place means you're putting all of your care into her hands. You will be relying on her for shelter. If things go wrong, you will be homeless.

She'd make a great mother,
No she would not. She has no concept of money and responsibility.

I could go out tomorrow and find a 24 year old, but not with the same situation as this.
You'd have a better chance at being the 24 year old's 'soulmate' than being one for a 34 year old.

She couldn't make it work with the dozens of other men at age 34...theres a reason for it. If she valued marriage she would have been married a long time ago.
^^^ This right here is the best summary about her that you'll ever read. Good women are snatched up while they're young and they mould themselves to suit their men. This 34 year old chick is already established in her ways. Do you think she's going to give up her lavish party lifestyle to stay at home and raise kids? Not a fvcking chance. Once the novelty of having a child has worn off, she'll be leaving the child with you and will return to enjoying her social life.

YOU should be the one in charge here. YOU should be deciding where you're going to live. YOU should have a woman who's more interested in making your house a home if you plan on having kids. This woman is going to lead you to nothing but trouble, frustration, and heartbreak.
 

Roober

Master Don Juan
Joined
Nov 2, 2016
Messages
2,383
Reaction score
2,123
You guys have been together 2 years and it doesn't seem like much bad going on. If she has a party lifestyle, then that is not likely to change once she has a baby. I may go a bit against the grain here, but I would say why not move in with her? That is 20k a year you can put in your bank account. Just don't become an AFC. It would definitely be harder to do that way.
 

zekko

Master Don Juan
Joined
Aug 6, 2009
Messages
16,056
Reaction score
8,897
I wasn't going to comment on this, but I'll post a few impressions:
What does height have to do with anything???
I was wondering that myself, it's a matter of preference. That's Rollo's list though. Personally, instead of 5'5" or taller, I probably would have said 5'6" or shorter. Height isn't a dealbreaker for me, as long as she isn't taller than I am, but I notice I'm especially attracted to women in the 5'2" to 5'6" range.

I'd also be a little concerned about the "unexpectedly texts me nudes" bit. Not that I mind of course, but taking selfies of that sort is why there are naked pictures of Jennifer Lawrence and thousands of other people all over the internet.

I'd also find it a little odd if there were a whole bunch of guys telling me how cool she was. Shows she gets around a lot.

To the OP: That said, you should do what you want. But I think the biggest red flag here is that you are asking other people what you should do. If you were so sold on this chick, that alone suggests you aren't ready. Regarding continuing your "alpha" lifestyle: What is it you are worried about missing out on? Banging a dozen bar sluts?
 

sazc

Master Don Juan
Joined
Oct 23, 2016
Messages
4,502
Reaction score
3,429
having children is tough on a relationship, it changes all dynamics, if you are ready to settle down with children then go for it. the kids are going to need dad to be at home. your social life will be seriously curtailed for at least 5-7 years
 

The Duke

Master Don Juan
Joined
Feb 4, 2008
Messages
5,605
Reaction score
8,500
S Disko-

From reading your posting, you mentioned money and looks(material things) quite often. Far more than you mentioned anything about personality. Take all of that out of the picture and ask yourself what your interest level would be. I also recommend reflecting on those 100 women you have been with before and what you like/don't like in a woman and how does that compare to the one you have now. Make a list of what is important to you and only marry the girl that meets 80% of that list.
 

S Disko

New Member
Joined
Dec 2, 2016
Messages
5
Reaction score
0
Age
40
Took a bunch of time to think about this.

Realized that I posted a lot about Rollo's description and the opinions of other guys. I think I did that to validate my own feelings, didn't want to come in here and say "I'm legit in love" and have people tear me apart for being an AFC. Probably left out some things about her: She's whip smart, works even though she probably doesn't have to (so she does know the value of money), cares deeply about her oldest friends and their kids (she's an "auntie" to all of them and constantly spends money buying gifts for the kids for no reason other than she loves to do it (including my own niece and nephew)). She doesn't give a F about social media validation. Might go to a the club once every 3 months, almost always bc we go together. The parties I mentioned are fashion industry events that she's at because that's her industry. Treats her mom like a best friend (this is super important to me, I have a hard time trusting anyone who is mean to their mother, besides obvious exceptions like if their mom abandoned them or something).

I can say with certainty that her behavior isn't projecting. I've been through that before, and can spot it in a second.

What probably made me fall in love with her was the extent to which push past my bull****, I can be super moody for no real reason, and she can break past that by constantly be overly positive, loving, kind etc without ever getting mad at me for it. We have to make up fake stuff to argue about as a joke because we never really have arguments.

Thought some more about why I posted here and I keep coming back to the same 2 things:

1) I would move in with her, but really don't want to move into her place, I'd want to get something together. I might have to go into her place for 6 months or something, but confident enough in my ability to control the 6 month time limit - she would also be cool with it because she would understand how emasculating moving into her place that her dad owns would be for me.
but I hesitate because...
2) This would mean kids in the next 1.5 years, and if I wasn't with her, I can say with 110% certainty that kids would nowhere near my radar. None of my close friends have kids - so even if we found a new place together, my life would become all about her, the kids, and I'd only be hanging out with her other friends who all have kids instead of my friends. I'd be constantly waiting for them to catch up so we could be dad's together. I could try and keep my frame by ensuring I get 1 night a week with my boys or something, but I'd be the only guy in the group with a kid, and maybe that's not supposed to bother me but it would eat me up inside.

So that's it - keep her and get into family mode before I'm ready. Or keep my identity/lifestyle, but do it single, and potentially regret giving up a solid life partner.

Would be interesting to hear from some dad's here. If I'm really confident about this girl as a wife/partner/mother - will all my hesitation go away once I see my kid for the first time? Is any of that stuff true?

Learn from my mistake.
What was your mistake?

I wasn't going to comment on this, but I'll post a few impressions:

I was wondering that myself, it's a matter of preference. That's Rollo's list though. Personally, instead of 5'5" or taller, I probably would have said 5'6" or shorter. Height isn't a dealbreaker for me, as long as she isn't taller than I am, but I notice I'm especially attracted to women in the 5'2" to 5'6" range.

I'd also be a little concerned about the "unexpectedly texts me nudes" bit. Not that I mind of course, but taking selfies of that sort is why there are naked pictures of Jennifer Lawrence and thousands of other people all over the internet.

I'd also find it a little odd if there were a whole bunch of guys telling me how cool she was. Shows she gets around a lot.
Yea that was just Rollo's quote, height doesn't really matter. Confident she's texting nudes bc she wants to be that girl for me and keep my interest.

What does height have to do with anything???


YOU should be the one in charge here. YOU should be deciding where you're going to live. YOU should have a woman who's more interested in making your house a home if you plan on having kids. This woman is going to lead you to nothing but trouble, frustration, and heartbreak.
Desdinova - wanted to tag you here to get your thoughts on what I wrote here above (ie new info)
 

sazc

Master Don Juan
Joined
Oct 23, 2016
Messages
4,502
Reaction score
3,429
You need to be honest with her about how you are feeling. If you dont want to have kids at all, DO NOT have kids, you will regret it. If you want to have kids, but later, and dont want to lose her, have her freeze her eggs (it's not like she has the money)

Open your mouth and start to communicate
 

BetterCallSaul

Master Don Juan
Joined
Jun 25, 2014
Messages
863
Reaction score
378
Location
Texas
2 years is long enough in my opinion to determine if you want marriage.

For new users here when I reply to subject matter like this, I feel compelled to say I'm one of the very few on this site who are married and have kids. Now i dont say this to insult my other forum members here because they are all good guys in some form or fashion, and they are good at what they do with living the redpill lifestyle. However one thing I've tended to notice since I've been here is that some guys get accustomed to that lifestyle that they really dont know how to give it up. Some guys have this mindset that even if they've got a 9 in the rotation who by their own definitions would make great exclusive LTR material, they have it hardwired in their brains that they need to keep working on getting another chick into the rotation because they've convinced themselves that this chick or another will eventually go nuts and he'll have to kick her to the curb. This is good advice for living the redpill lifestyle of any good alpha male.

However this type of advice and technique will NOT work if you are married. You cannot expect that every time some bump in the road with your wife comes up that it's time to kick her out and work on finding new strange. If you cannot manage unexpected problems in your relationship, you will not grow as a person and you will not be able to handle conflict because you will always resort to the final option of kicking her out.

My wife and I have been married for 11 years and we have 2 girls. I will say that if you choose to get married to this chick, your life is going to change bigtime. Now you throw in that she wants to get preggo asap? Dude, your lifestyle is going to be damn near unrecognizable to what you have now. I sort of wish that my wife pregnant maybe 1 year later than she did, but my oldest is wonderful and her personality is amazing. I can tell that if I'm gentle and try to guide her properly, she will make a damn near perfect wife for a deserving man one day. I kind of wish my wife and I had just a little more time for ourselves into our marriage is why I mentioned the pregnancy.

Your woman says she wants kids. Does she recognize what that lifestyle will be like because from everything you write, it seems to me neither of you have any clue as to what it's going to entail and in my opinion it will set you up for serious marital difficulties. When you get so accustomed to living that highlife in a big city, knowing everyone, going out to the best clubs whenever you want and meeting so many people, yeah, do you want to give all that up? If you run into some of these people during the day at a grocery store and they ask why you haven't stopped in for a while, do you have no problem telling them you stayed up last night to tend to your baby because he/she was throwing up a lot? Is the person you would say that to the type that would look at you like your nuts, make a face and then tell you they'll see you around? When you're able to actually go out because you've got a babysitter for the night, will you try to go back to that same scene? Is going back to that scene really about growing your marriage or about trying to hang on to the lifestyle you have now?


You've got serious things you need to think about.
 

Desdinova

Master Don Juan
Joined
Nov 15, 2004
Messages
11,639
Reaction score
4,717
She's whip smart, works even though she probably doesn't have to (so she does know the value of money), cares deeply about her oldest friends and their kids (she's an "auntie" to all of them and constantly spends money buying gifts for the kids for no reason other than she loves to do it (including my own niece and nephew)). She doesn't give a F about social media validation. Might go to a the club once every 3 months, almost always bc we go together. The parties I mentioned are fashion industry events that she's at because that's her industry. Treats her mom like a best friend
My thoughts haven't changed. This still sounds like my ex-wife. A "smart" woman who's addicted to being social will find ways to remain being social even after she has children. Whether she leaves the kid with your or pays a babysitter is irrelevant because it's going to affect your child one way or another.

This woman still doesn't sound like a good 'family' woman to me, and her age is what convinces me that she's a bad choice for a life-long companion. She's been riding the c0ck carousel for the last 16 years, if not longer. What makes you higher on her high score list than any of those other dudes she's been with? If you've been with her for 10 years, I'd say go ahead. However, she'll be in her 40s after 10 years and children will mostly be out of the question.

I honestly think that you're just the most convenient sperm donor in her vicinity.

get me into all the fashion parties, never gets mad at me, and buys me $3,000 leather jackets
It's convenient and easy for her to do this 5hit to keep you hooked as a sperm donor. Take away her money, her social status, and her looks, and what kind of a person do you have? Do you even really know? Out of everything you've posted, I cannot see anything that really qualifies her as a good life-long partner. What domestic qualities does she have? What home-life skills does she have? Does she follow your lead? Are you so high up on her high score list that she'll be truly fvcked up and devastated if you dumped her? You haven't given a hint of ANY of those in your posts.

In all honesty, she sounds like a fun GF, but I don't think she's marriage or mother quality.
 

Milano

Senior Don Juan
Joined
Dec 21, 2016
Messages
362
Reaction score
253
Age
36
I wasn't going to comment on this, but I'll post a few impressions:

I was wondering that myself, it's a matter of preference. That's Rollo's list though. Personally, instead of 5'5" or taller, I probably would have said 5'6" or shorter. Height isn't a dealbreaker for me, as long as she isn't taller than I am, but I notice I'm especially attracted to women in the 5'2" to 5'6" range.

I'd also be a little concerned about the "unexpectedly texts me nudes" bit. Not that I mind of course, but taking selfies of that sort is why there are naked pictures of Jennifer Lawrence and thousands of other people all over the internet.

I'd also find it a little odd if there were a whole bunch of guys telling me how cool she was. Shows she gets around a lot.

To the OP: That said, you should do what you want. But I think the biggest red flag here is that you are asking other people what you should do. If you were so sold on this chick, that alone suggests you aren't ready. Regarding continuing your "alpha" lifestyle: What is it you are worried about missing out on? Banging a dozen bar sluts?
Yeah the problem here is that you are asking us what you should do which means you are not sure what to do which is a negative Im afraid. She is rushing you because her time is soon up while yours is not. You gotta wait until you feel certain but I dont think it will come when you have that gut feeling. In my experience those gut feelings never go away.

It might also be true what someone else wrote in here that she is acting like wife material to make you impregnate her, which would be logical when a woman is desperate for the best possible offspring, which also is something you wont know until it is too late.

I would wait and try to enjoy each other at least for another year. The party-life has to stop for years though, could you even live without it, could she?
 

GT40

Senior Don Juan
Joined
Dec 29, 2016
Messages
357
Reaction score
225
Age
52
Location
Canada
You my friend are farking crazy to move in with this girl. She's had the golden spoon her whole life dude. Can u keep that going ? She'll have one or two kids and that will wear off. You'll be stuck with the kids every weekend while she's out partying. If you move in with her she has all the control over everything.
You may as well stick your balls in a vice. It'll be all over.
She's a princess and will expect that way of life every single day. Can you make that happen? Think this over.
I have some doubts about the Red Pill you stated you took. You may need another.
 
Top