I have a GF now, thank you DJ's, but I have a question

[That_guy]

In about a year of lurking and asking questions. I went from being a kissless virgin to having a ONS with a girl at one point and now an LTR with a girl that I deem worthy to be in an LTR with. (also met tons of new people, mostly girls I think the secret to meet a quality girl BTW is to expand your social circle, just sharing lol)

I have 2 questions though,

1. Do we keep the indifferent, aloof, amused mastery frame when dealing with her, or do we now show the beta/afc side, just a little bit to show that we care (this girl already flinches whenever my phone rings, btw)

2. Up to what extent is it acceptable to be jealous with someone? Some of my new friends say that as long as their GF is not having sex with another guy, they are ok.....I dont know if I will be ok with that.

And again, thank you all!

 

[That_guy]

also, I want to share this with you......as a word of caution....and to remember, keep one foot on the ground

http://i44.tinypic.com/rs99p2.jpg

 

[PigAdlemPimp]

Its easier to be an AlphaMale for one night than it is to continuously behave like one in a relationship with a girl over a longer period.

If you are dating the same girl for a long time, you need to be able to show your sensitive side, if you don't you'll probably lose the girl anyway.

Its very much a learning curve at the beginning, so all the best in your own journey.

 

[That_guy]

Its easier to be an AlphaMale for one night than it is to continuously behave like one in a relationship with a girl over a longer period.

If you are dating the same girl for a long time, you need to be able to show your sensitive side, if you don't you'll probably lose the girl anyway.

Its very much a learning curve at the beginning, so all the best in your own journey.

Bold: Unless you actually change your lifestyle, I am not going to brag and say I am an alpha male just yet, however, in this experience, I found that even the desire and motivation/discipline to be one is attractive to women (I think, not sure) you know, ambition, have lots of activities/plans etc.

And thank you.

 

[PrettyBoyAJ]

Who is shera and job. That's some evil sh!t right there. To answer your question.

1. Don't put too much effort into the relationship. Think of it as an addition to your life not your life. Giver her 1/3 that she gives you if that. The less emotional you are to her the better however. I mean you already got her. What's the point of being super emotional unless she did something to deserve it.

2. You let her know what is acceptable and what isn't. Such as hanging out with guys on one one or doing anything more. This is your relationship and you set the rules or you don't get into it. There shouldn't be any jealousy if she plays by your rules.

 

[That_guy]

2. You let her know what is acceptable and what isn't. Such as hanging out with guys on one one or doing anything more. This is your relationship and you set the rules or you don't get into it. There shouldn't be any jealousy if she plays by your rules.

Ok..any creative ways on how I can set it?

It kinda conflicts with your number 1, I dont want to bring out a piece of paper and say "Here, these are the things you cant do for the duration of our relationship, sign here, here and here" and look insecure as f**k if I tell her directly

My friend suggested that dont flip out the first time it happens and just tell her that you are not cool with that behavior (he is an AFC, but he is one of those friends who are in relationships for long periods of time, so I asked him for advice anyway)

and yes, that is evil lol

 

[Iceberg]

1. Do we keep the indifferent, aloof, amused mastery frame when dealing with her, or do we now show the beta/afc side, just a little bit to show that we care (this girl already flinches whenever my phone rings, btw)

You can be a good guy to your girlfriend, treat her nice, etc. It's just important to always remember that a girl wants a MAN.

Unlike what romantic movies tell you, she doesn't want to hear you talk about your feelings. She doesn't want to see your emotional side. I'm not saying you have to be a tough guy all the time. I'm just saying you have to find a healthy balance between sensitivity and manliness. You know how women complain that we're messy....that we never talk about our feelings....well they complain about it, but they LIKE it.

2. Up to what extent is it acceptable to be jealous with someone? Some of my new friends say that as long as their GF is not having sex with another guy, they are ok.....I dont know if I will be ok with that.

i'll say this - the good girlfriends I've had...they NEVER put me in a position to be jealous.

The bad girlfriends were the ones getting calls from ex's or flirting with guys.

Jealousy is a part of human nature. That's fine. But if you ever find yourself jealous, just consider the source. Is the girl putting you in the position to be jealous? Or are things just happening occasionally that make you jealous?

 

[That_guy]

You can be a good guy to your girlfriend, treat her nice, etc. It's just important to always remember that a girl wants a MAN.

Unlike what romantic movies tell you, she doesn't want to hear you talk about your feelings. She doesn't want to see your emotional side. I'm not saying you have to be a tough guy all the time. I'm just saying you have to find a healthy balance between sensitivity and manliness. You know how women complain that we're messy....that we never talk about our feelings....well they complain about it, but they LIKE it.

Yeah, well i think I did enough emotional bull so i burnt that card out and that means I will have to shut off my emotions from her for like 2 months. It did help her see the LTR potential in me when I told her that what we were doing was not working and that either we are a couple (bf/gf) or I am wasting my time and I will leave (that is, showing emotions as admitting that the situation is bothering me). In my defense, she dont trust me (she said it herself) as I have new female friends texting me all the time.....just texting, I would never stoop so low as to cheat on her.

Am I approaching this right? For every emotional side you show, you shut it off for a certain period of time? That way there is balance?

 

[floydb25]

also, I want to share this with you......as a word of caution....and to remember, keep one foot on the ground

http://i44.tinypic.com/rs99p2.jpg

Can't say this is suprising - given the picture that's on there. Those angels on the outside are devils on the inside. She looks an ex of mine (though that girl is not as attractive, she's equally as fake) which did the same thing. She even complained when people did those things to her, and worried that I would too.

The most valuable lesson learned from this is to never assume the best out of anyone. Just because they hate when bad things happen to them - doesn't mean they have any problems doing the same things to others. A girl that makes sure you aren't cheating isn't necessarily faithful. Someone who complains when you're being a jerk isn't necessarily nice. And so forth.

Most people like this simply want to control, and make sure no one goes against their interests. They expect everyone to be their slave - while doing whatever they want. Quite sad.

 

[jafyk]

That_guy read the book of Pook and gain some wisdom my son. There's nothing wrong with showing emotion. What you need is a healthy balance. You show too much emotion you are seen as weak. You don't show any you are seen as a machine.
All it comes down to is balance. You have a relationship now. So, yes to a certain degree you have to invest in it. If you don't it will fall apart. Still just because you are in a relationship doesn't mean you should become a whole new person. You still have to be that guy that the girl fell for by doing most of those things you did. Find ways to be better.