I have a gf and she has a bf

[razor113]

What's up guys?
Never thought that anything like this would ever happen to me. Long story short, I met this girl about a year and a half ago, sparks right away, you know what I mean? The feeling was mutual, we really dug each other but we both had significant others and we both knew this.
We were kinda flirty from the beginning but it wasn't just that, we really enjoyed talking to each other too, right now it's come to the point where every free time we have, we're either talking or hanging out, making out, etc...
I know there's tons of women out there but what do you do when you think you're sure you've found the right one and she feels the same about you but we're still with our gf/bf's.
Her thing is that she hates hurting people and she's afraid that this guy will be devastated if she leaves him.
This guy allready had an engagement ring ready for her and she told him to hold off on it! All I know is that she's so happy when she's around me and she's a total, stressed out wreck when she's with him. She sais it's so easy with me but with him, there's so much work involved with him and she's unhappy but she can't figure out how to break things off with him.
Any advise would do, guys. Appreciate it, thanks..

 

[qweretyuiopas]

Why would you go out with an engaged woman?

 

[razor113]

I forgot to mention, she sais that every time she sees a future, it's with me not him, when she pictures a family, again she sees me and not him, she sais she's in love with me and she doesn't know why she's still with him, etc...
Stuff like that messes with me, you know?

 

[razor113]

Originally posted by qweretyuiopas
Why would you go out with an engaged woman?

Oh, she's not engaged.. She hasn't accepted the ring, I don't think she will, actually I'm sure she's not..

 

[Cham101]

It doesn't look like she is going to break up with her boyfriend anytime soon. If she does then you run the risk of her cheating on you as well.

 

[razor113]

She's kinda dropping hints, saying things like she doesn't want to do it (break up) during the holidays..

 

[thejackofalltrades]

Originally posted by Cham101
It doesn't look like she is going to break up with her boyfriend anytime soon. If she does then you run the risk of her cheating on you as well.

I agree...if a girl's willing to cheat with you, what's gonna stop her from cheating on you in the future? This girl can't seem to make up her mind about who she wants to be with, is that a desirable quality for you?

Yeah I guess it sucks that she hasn't left her bf, but why haven't you broken up with your gf? You both need to dump your partners so they can find someone who'll treat them with some more respect and would come clean rather than cheat on them behind their back.

 

[aftershock]

Originally posted by thejackofalltrades
I agree...if a girl's willing to cheat with you, what's gonna stop her from cheating on you in the future?

This is sometimes true, but often not.

If you are significantly a better person than her bf, then you can steal her off him. I've done it before and so have some of my mates, and probably people here have done it too. Remember that most women aren't happy in relationships.

 

[razor113]

Originally posted by aftershock
This is sometimes true, but often not.

If you are significantly a better person than her bf, then you can steal her off him. I've done it before and so have some of my mates, and probably people here have done it too. Remember that most women aren't happy in relationships.

That's what she tells me... That I am better than her bf..
I'm just trying to figure out when is enough time, enough time, you know?
It's like, okay you tell me you love me, you're telling me you're going to end up with me, when??

 

[razor113]

Originally posted by thejackofalltrades
I agree...if a girl's willing to cheat with you, what's gonna stop her from cheating on you in the future? This girl can't seem to make up her mind about who she wants to be with, is that a desirable quality for you?

Yeah I guess it sucks that she hasn't left her bf, but why haven't you broken up with your gf? You both need to dump your partners so they can find someone who'll treat them with some more respect and would come clean rather than cheat on them behind their back.

I agree with you up to a point but you can't say that she'll cheat on me just because she's cheating on him and vice versa..
If you find someone better than who you're with at the moment and you connect with this person on every level, I think you should really give this person a try. If this wasn't the case, I'd still be with my highschool sweetheart and so would everyone else, right?

 

[spider_007]

Originally posted by razor113
Her thing is that she hates hurting people and she's afraid that this guy will be devastated if she leaves him.

total bullsh*t. women know haw to break up. they do most of the break ups. this is total and absolute bullsh*t and i can't bolive nobody esle caught it.

there is a lot more going on here then you think. I don't know what but something is not right.

 

[frivolousz21]

this shows u dont want to be with ur gf anymore...so stop using her and cheating.


u would hate if this was reversed

 

[frivolousz21]

total bullsh*t. women know haw to break up. they do most of the break ups. this is total and absolute bullsh*t and i can't bolive nobody esle caught it.

no, this is probably true...

women know how to break up with guys they dont care for.

im sure she loves her bf....even if its just as a person.

its hard to hurt someone u care for.

ive been there..so have alot of other men and women..who dragged out relationships.


women dont do most of the breakups either...just in your world they seem to.

 

[razor113]

Originally posted by frivolousz21
no, this is probably true...

women know how to break up with guys they dont care for.

im sure she loves her bf....even if its just as a person.

its hard to hurt someone u care for.

ive been there..so have alot of other men and women..who dragged out relationships.


women dont do most of the breakups either...just in your world they seem to.

That's what's going on here man, I love my gf. I just don't think I'm in love with her anymore. Same thing with this girl, she's told me she loves the guy but she doesn't have the feelings that should be there when you're with someone..
You're right though, speaking for myself, I am dragging this out..
I think the right thing would be for me to break up with my girl and let the chips fall where they may. I think that's the right thing to do, I've just been trying to avoid it...

 

[BrotherAP]

Re: Re: I have a gf and she has a bf

You're in it deep buddy. Like Spider_007 said, there's more going on here than you think, and something is not right...

She's dragging on her relationship with her BF because she has no reason to dump him! You think she should break up with him so she can be with you, but you've never made that a requirement for being with you. She's already got you.

I forgot to mention, she sais that every time she sees a future, it's with me not him, when she pictures a family, again she sees me and not him, she sais she's in love with me and she doesn't know why she's still with him, etc...
Stuff like that messes with me, you know?

She says, she says, she says... yeah, that'll mess with you. That's because, when all is said and done much more is said than done. She might say a lot of things, but what has she done? She still goes home and fvcks her boyfriend after she fvcks you.

She's kinda dropping hints

Like a carrot on the end of a stick, she's dangling that breakup six inches in front of your nose and you keep chasing it like a trained donkey. She's got enough excuses to last the rest of your life, so get used to this

I'm just trying to figure out when is enough time, enough time, you know?
It's like, okay you tell me you love me, you're telling me you're going to end up with me, when??

It's been enough time already! You simply have not enforced it - giving her 100% control over the time frame. You must make her choose you over her boyfriend - which means that you have to risk everything. You have to walk away and say "I can't date a girl who's already dating somebody," and if she wants enough she will leave him to be with you. If she doesn't leave him to be with you, then you already saved yourself months of heartache. And one last thing...

this shows u dont want to be with ur gf anymore...so stop using her and cheating.

You have to lead by example. You can't expect her to leave her BF if you haven't left your girl. Yeah, I know, you guys don't want to hurt the other person - but you're just making it worse. Dump them now, or do it in six months it's going to hurt them either way. You're not protecting anyone.

The problem is, once she breaks up with her boyfriend you are left with the emotional wreck that is a girl who just fell out of love. There will be confusion, on her part, and drama all around, and you will wish you never got involved with this to begin with.

But like I said, you're in it deep, and unless you are strong then you will lack the courage to walk away from this. Walking away now might hurt, and I know you're afraid to do it - but that's because you know it's the right thing to do. You have to save yourself buddy.

 

[frivolousz21]

how long have u been with ur gf?


what happened with how u felt?

wat does she lack that u want or desire in a partner?

just wondering


and how old are all of u

 

[spider_007]

my advice is, brake up with your g/f (you don't love her anyway) and tell this to your other chick:

"i just broke up with my g/f. I didn't love her, i realized that. I can't see you eather. You ovioulsy wont leave your b/f any time soon, and I don't want to be eating you pvssy minutes after he banged the hell out of it. It sux seing you with another guy. If you want me, here i am, for now. If you don't, have a nice life."

she may try and get you to give her more time,----------DON'T------- Turn around and leave.

If she breaks up with her b/f then congradulations. if she doesn't you owe me a coffie.
Ge get your self another gurl (who you actally like) AND GROW SOME GOD DAMN BALLS

 

[razor113]

Re: Re: Re: I have a gf and she has a bf

Originally posted by BrotherAP
You're in it deep buddy. Like Spider_007 said, there's more going on here than you think, and something is not right...

She's dragging on her relationship with her BF because she has no reason to dump him! You think she should break up with him so she can be with you, but you've never made that a requirement for being with you. She's already got you.

I forgot to mention, she sais that every time she sees a future, it's with me not him, when she pictures a family, again she sees me and not him, she sais she's in love with me and she doesn't know why she's still with him, etc...
Stuff like that messes with me, you know?

She says, she says, she says... yeah, that'll mess with you. That's because, when all is said and done much more is said than done. She might say a lot of things, but what has she done? She still goes home and fvcks her boyfriend after she fvcks you.

She's kinda dropping hints

Like a carrot on the end of a stick, she's dangling that breakup six inches in front of your nose and you keep chasing it like a trained donkey. She's got enough excuses to last the rest of your life, so get used to this

I'm just trying to figure out when is enough time, enough time, you know?
It's like, okay you tell me you love me, you're telling me you're going to end up with me, when??

It's been enough time already! You simply have not enforced it - giving her 100% control over the time frame. You must make her choose you over her boyfriend - which means that you have to risk everything. You have to walk away and say "I can't date a girl who's already dating somebody," and if she wants enough she will leave him to be with you. If she doesn't leave him to be with you, then you already saved yourself months of heartache. And one last thing...

this shows u dont want to be with ur gf anymore...so stop using her and cheating.

You have to lead by example. You can't expect her to leave her BF if you haven't left your girl. Yeah, I know, you guys don't want to hurt the other person - but you're just making it worse. Dump them now, or do it in six months it's going to hurt them either way. You're not protecting anyone.

The problem is, once she breaks up with her boyfriend you are left with the emotional wreck that is a girl who just fell out of love. There will be confusion, on her part, and drama all around, and you will wish you never got involved with this to begin with.

But like I said, you're in it deep, and unless you are strong then you will lack the courage to walk away from this. Walking away now might hurt, and I know you're afraid to do it - but that's because you know it's the right thing to do. You have to save yourself buddy.

You make alot of sense bro' . Don't think I'm stupid or anything, I've pretty much thought of everything you just wrote, I was just waiting for some kind of confirmation, I wanted opinions from other guys who might understand. I mean when it started it was cool, a fling, you know? Then alot more feelings started getting involved etc... You know the rest..
I have alot of friends but the situation that I'm in, I really can't tell them what's going on because my friends are also my girl's friends, everyone knows each other.
Am I prepared? I don't know but it's about time that I take control of the situation, know what I mean?
Thanks alot guys, I still welcome any responses you might have, ok?
You were right on the money on most everyting you wrote, especially the part about me being in it deep!

 

[razor113]

For the record, I feel much better now!!

 

[backbreaker]

A wise man once said, believe none of what you hear, ,and half of what you see.

A wise man also said, that women should be judged by their actions, not their words...

Of course that wise man is me


Seriously, men have this neat trick, it's called LOGIC... I swear most women don't have it.. Or choose to ingore it.

Look, if you were with a girl, and you were messing with this other girl, what would YOU do? Of co urse you are going to say the things to make them stay, as long as you don' thave to follow up on them...

If you were really that much better than her BF, she wo uldn't be with him, no matter how much she loved himm.. Hell I ****ed a married girl and she got a divorce 2 weeks later (True story)

You have nothing to gain and evertything to loose by staying soo close as you are now with her... I know (trust me) it's hard to seperate yourself from her, but you have to, it's for your own good.


If she is really true on what she says, ,she will come after you... You have known her for a year now, ,what in the hell else is she waiting for?