gravityeyelids
Master Don Juan
- Joined
- Mar 6, 2013
- Messages
- 918
- Reaction score
- 192
This is something i feel like i need to vocalize...and what better place to do it than an anonymous forum...right? Haha. But in all seriousness, I'm dissapointed in myself and the amount i've been drinking lately.
Honestly...i'm not sure if i have a problem or addiction, but i feel it's better to err on the side of admitting I do. It's hard to tell if you have a drinking problem when you're surrounded by functional alcoholics. I go to a big party school and not only does it feel weird to not have a drink in your hand at a party or bar...at some of these parties the people are ALL so drunk that you feel weird if you're just buzzed and not sh!tfaced.
I don't get drunk during the weekdays. (In college thursday is part of the weekend, haha). On many weekends I get very drunk on thursday, friday, and saturday. I would say on average it's closer to 2 nights a week. It's hard to get drunk three nights in a row. Sometimes during the week i'll have a few drinks in the evening. I dont drink during the day ever unless it's like a really nice sunny day and my friends are grilling out or something.
The reasons for me spilling my guts to you guys about this are as follows:
1) Financial - even though i go to mainly house parties and avoid bars, the cost of alcohol is piling up. I would say on average i would spend about $20 on alcohol each weekend (including mixers). Thats close to $100 per month.
2) Health - i've very health conscious aside from partying and try to workout 4-5 times a week, eat healthy and stay lean. The drinking is curbing my motivation for working out and eating right. When i'm drinking sometimes i dont get proper nutrition and just opt for easy and unhealthy food. Also, if i go out and party, i sometimes go 6 hours without a proper meal. In addition, it's hard to workout when you're nursing a hangover. Also, after a night of drinking i feel bloated and like my muscles have "deflated"...probably due in part to dehydration. My body feels achy and my joints don't feel as "well-oiled" when i'm drinking a lot. My mind feels foggy on the weekend, and i'm worried that even though i'm not hungover during the week, i'm not as sharp as i could be on a daily basis. The health effects from binge drinking are well documented, and are too many to list, and i'm also afraid of these.
3) Productivity - I basically don't do anything on the weekend. I am terrible at doing work hungover. I just normally say "fvck it". I try to get work done during the week so i can just sit around during the weekend. I feel like i should be using part of my weekend time to search for jobs, build my resume/skills, etc.
4) GAME - I'm very reliant on alcohol for game. When out partying, i feel the urge to just get drunk to boost my confidence. I sell myself short and end up hooking up with girls that arent up to par with my standards. My game is becoming sloppy and i need to build my inner game rather than relying on the booze.
5) Family - my dad is a heavy drinker, and while he has never gotten violent or abusive or angry when drunk, it's disheartening to see him when hes very drunk. Luckily, I think he has realized this and i havent seen him drinking heavily in a long time. Nonetheless i dont want to plant bad seeds and come to rely on alcohol as a middle aged man.
6) Tolerance - This past weekend, thursday night we went to a house party. I probably had about 6 dark beers total, in addition to what I would guess to be 6 or 7 shots of tequila. I bought a liter of vodka (35%) to last me the rest of the weekend. I didnt think i would finish it, but i drank roughly half of it each night. And then last night i went out and got a couple 24oz's of beer late at night because i knew the vodka wouldnt last me. My tolerance has gotten out of hand and i miss the times when i could get a buzz off like 2 or 3 shots.
I've gotten better overall about not drinking to the point of blacking out completely. I used to just keep drinking and not stop myself and i would black out very easily, but ive learned to pace myself better. That being said, i have a bad habit of making "nightcap" drinks at the end of the night. Typically, i return to my apartment sh!tfaced at like 2 or 3 AM. My first priority is food. but i make a strong mixed drink while i cook or while sitting in bed afterwards, watching a movie. This drink basically helps me pass out. Last night i was pissed because we pregamed and then walked into the rain to this "party" which was dead by midnight and everyone left, so i just went back to my place and kept drinking by myself, texting this girl i banged on thursday, trying to get her to come over.
Im just kind of torn because i want to make the most of these last few weeks at school before the summer and go out and meet girls and stuff. Because i know i'll get home and be sitting at my parents house over the summer wishing i was partying at school.
Since im going home this next weekend, i plan on taking a weekend off drinking and evaluating myself. I'm going to workout like crazy, eat like crazy, build my demo reel and resume, look for jobs, build my skills, practice guitar, etc. I've decided not to drink until the following thursday (12 days from now). I'm not going to do anything drastic like taking a month off drinking or anything....i think smaller steps are better. When i do return to drinking, i'm going to try and cut back, try and reduce how much i drink so that i can enjoy being buzzed without feeling the need to get drunk.
Honestly...i'm not sure if i have a problem or addiction, but i feel it's better to err on the side of admitting I do. It's hard to tell if you have a drinking problem when you're surrounded by functional alcoholics. I go to a big party school and not only does it feel weird to not have a drink in your hand at a party or bar...at some of these parties the people are ALL so drunk that you feel weird if you're just buzzed and not sh!tfaced.
I don't get drunk during the weekdays. (In college thursday is part of the weekend, haha). On many weekends I get very drunk on thursday, friday, and saturday. I would say on average it's closer to 2 nights a week. It's hard to get drunk three nights in a row. Sometimes during the week i'll have a few drinks in the evening. I dont drink during the day ever unless it's like a really nice sunny day and my friends are grilling out or something.
The reasons for me spilling my guts to you guys about this are as follows:
1) Financial - even though i go to mainly house parties and avoid bars, the cost of alcohol is piling up. I would say on average i would spend about $20 on alcohol each weekend (including mixers). Thats close to $100 per month.
2) Health - i've very health conscious aside from partying and try to workout 4-5 times a week, eat healthy and stay lean. The drinking is curbing my motivation for working out and eating right. When i'm drinking sometimes i dont get proper nutrition and just opt for easy and unhealthy food. Also, if i go out and party, i sometimes go 6 hours without a proper meal. In addition, it's hard to workout when you're nursing a hangover. Also, after a night of drinking i feel bloated and like my muscles have "deflated"...probably due in part to dehydration. My body feels achy and my joints don't feel as "well-oiled" when i'm drinking a lot. My mind feels foggy on the weekend, and i'm worried that even though i'm not hungover during the week, i'm not as sharp as i could be on a daily basis. The health effects from binge drinking are well documented, and are too many to list, and i'm also afraid of these.
3) Productivity - I basically don't do anything on the weekend. I am terrible at doing work hungover. I just normally say "fvck it". I try to get work done during the week so i can just sit around during the weekend. I feel like i should be using part of my weekend time to search for jobs, build my resume/skills, etc.
4) GAME - I'm very reliant on alcohol for game. When out partying, i feel the urge to just get drunk to boost my confidence. I sell myself short and end up hooking up with girls that arent up to par with my standards. My game is becoming sloppy and i need to build my inner game rather than relying on the booze.
5) Family - my dad is a heavy drinker, and while he has never gotten violent or abusive or angry when drunk, it's disheartening to see him when hes very drunk. Luckily, I think he has realized this and i havent seen him drinking heavily in a long time. Nonetheless i dont want to plant bad seeds and come to rely on alcohol as a middle aged man.
6) Tolerance - This past weekend, thursday night we went to a house party. I probably had about 6 dark beers total, in addition to what I would guess to be 6 or 7 shots of tequila. I bought a liter of vodka (35%) to last me the rest of the weekend. I didnt think i would finish it, but i drank roughly half of it each night. And then last night i went out and got a couple 24oz's of beer late at night because i knew the vodka wouldnt last me. My tolerance has gotten out of hand and i miss the times when i could get a buzz off like 2 or 3 shots.
I've gotten better overall about not drinking to the point of blacking out completely. I used to just keep drinking and not stop myself and i would black out very easily, but ive learned to pace myself better. That being said, i have a bad habit of making "nightcap" drinks at the end of the night. Typically, i return to my apartment sh!tfaced at like 2 or 3 AM. My first priority is food. but i make a strong mixed drink while i cook or while sitting in bed afterwards, watching a movie. This drink basically helps me pass out. Last night i was pissed because we pregamed and then walked into the rain to this "party" which was dead by midnight and everyone left, so i just went back to my place and kept drinking by myself, texting this girl i banged on thursday, trying to get her to come over.
Im just kind of torn because i want to make the most of these last few weeks at school before the summer and go out and meet girls and stuff. Because i know i'll get home and be sitting at my parents house over the summer wishing i was partying at school.
Since im going home this next weekend, i plan on taking a weekend off drinking and evaluating myself. I'm going to workout like crazy, eat like crazy, build my demo reel and resume, look for jobs, build my skills, practice guitar, etc. I've decided not to drink until the following thursday (12 days from now). I'm not going to do anything drastic like taking a month off drinking or anything....i think smaller steps are better. When i do return to drinking, i'm going to try and cut back, try and reduce how much i drink so that i can enjoy being buzzed without feeling the need to get drunk.
