"I have a boyfriend" is a REJECTION, NOT A SH1T TEST!

[Charm]

Frank,

It sounds to me like you are beating yourself up over her "I have a boyfriiend response". I have plenty of girls at my gym checking me out and I've made similar approaches. I only number closed about 3 out of maybe twenty I talked to and never even bothered asking the others because I knew I'd see them around and preferred building more rapport with them or didn't feel their IL was high enough. A girl checking you out at the gym is one thing but it can be very intimidating to her once you make the approach. Also, perhaps she finds you attractive but she has an attractive or better yet RICH bf too? Of course she'll still talk to you but she doesn't want to blow a good thing. One thing you could do is PUT yourself in a powerful instructor type of role and see how that works. Examples:

Me: Ever heard of an inverted leg lift?
Her: No, whats that?
Me: OH, you dont know? Probably one of the best ab exercises around! Come over her and I'll show you a couple and then you can try.
Her: Ok!

A few minutes later of me counting off her lef lifts.

Me: Did you feel the burn?
Her: Yea! Wow, that was tough but felt good!
Me: I picked up a few books from Barnes and Nobles that have helped me tremendously. Let me grab your number and later this week we can grab a snack there and I'll show you some of my favorite books on nutrition and health.
Her: Yea, that sounds great!

The reason this seemingly innocent approach actually works is because if she does have a boyfriend, it will give her a very good excuse to be going out on a date with another man. She is being shown by an "instructor at her gym" some books that will help her with health and nutrition. Things are not always what they seem grasshoppa!

 

[2cirius]

Really ?? We must live in different realities


-Cod3r

We sure do. It's even mentioned in Mike Pilinski's "Without Embarrassment" book to MOVE ON to the next girl if she mentions a boyfriend.

 

[Cod3r]

^ ^ I don't live my life by books or the words of others...

This must be my arrogance, but I trust my own experience over the word of any self-proclaimed whatever


-Cod3r

 

[2cirius]

^ ^ I don't live my life by books or the words of others...

This must be my arrogance, but I trust my own experience over the word of any self-proclaimed whatever

That's what makes this stuff so difficult. There seem to be no SOLID way to achieve success. Not every guy will be successful doing the things he reads about here. what works for one guy may not work for another.

I was talking to my brother about the "3 second rule" for example. You are supposed to approach a girl within 3 seconds before you lose your nerve or whatever. He said: "NEVER NEVER approach a girl that fast, because it smacks of desperation and being too eager." And he's prety good with women, so he must be "trusting his experience."

 

[Demon]

A boyfriend represents an opportunity for advancement, to demonstrate that you are a DJ, something different, and definitely the better choice. DJs understand that. Trolls do not.

Vesper Lynd: Am I going to have a problem with you, Bond?
James Bond: No, don't worry. You're not my type.
Vesper Lynd: Smart?
James Bond: Single.

 

[Cod3r]

That's what makes this stuff so difficult. There seem to be no SOLID way to achieve success. Not every guy will be successful doing the things he reads about here. what works for one guy may not work for another.

No one said it was easy, it didn't come to me easily bro. I worked very hard for the knowledge and experience I have, very hard. Alot of tears, alot of heart ache, alot of embarrassment, ect...

What you have to and eventually will realize, is that once you've exhausted your resources (these 'books' as u call them) and still have no success you'll actually start living your life and through your own experience you can write your own book. What do you think Styles did ??

There is NO hard fast rule in this game, anyone that tells you different probably has little to no experience with women. I've broken most of the rules and have done some pretty amazing things, and the rules I haven't broken I know other people who have and still consistently break them with success...

Again, don't worry about it, the real key is to have as many experiences as possible, you'll find your own conclusions at the end of your road.


-Cod3r

 

[2cirius]

A boyfriend represents an opportunity for advancement, to demonstrate that you are a DJ, something different, and definitely the better choice. DJs understand that. Trolls do not.

Like the new James Bond, single women aren't my type.

Haha. Some trolls are trying to LEARN but are confused by conflicting information.

Like I said in another post. Some things probably cannot be taught with words, which means many of us AFCs are doomed unless we can find someone to LEAD BY EXAMPLE. Some of us keep making the same old mistakes over and over again and have no basis on how to improve.

Like I said, can you learn to fight from reading a website? No, you learn by WATCHING and FOLLOWING. Some of us are so in the dark out here, we're trying this sh!t and think we're doing it right but not getting results and we're getting frustrated.

 

[Scrumtulescence]

A boyfriend represents an opportunity for advancement, to demonstrate that you are a DJ, something different, and definitely the better choice. DJs understand that. Trolls do not.

:crackup: That's not being a DJ, just a d*ck. You're actually modeling yourself after a fictional movie character? lol

 

[Maximus Rex]

I labeled "I Have A Boyfriend," as the #2 sign of little or no interest. When a chick tells you she has a boyfriend, it means that's she's trying to get rid of you, either because she geniunely has a boyfriend, or she isn't feeling your game. Either way, your figthing an uphill battle.

In order to get the chick with a boyfriend, you have to be able to demonstrate higher value, than the guy she's currently with. Can you woo babygirl away from her current boyfriend? Yes. As clearly demonstrated in The Game those guys were clearly banging every women that they set their eyes on, but also those guys were MPUAs and they had a rotation going. In my opinion I have yet to see anybody on this board that game is on that level, and if somebody has tips on nailing somebody else's girl, I'd like to see a post or a link about it.

Even if you pull the next guy's chick, you have to deal with the reprecussions of taking her from him. Just yesterday some dude was talking how he got the next guy's broad and he wanted to "meet and talk," with him. If you ask me, chicks with boyfriends aren't the trouble and you guys should focus your attention on available women. Unless of course it's an easy lay.

 

[2cirius]

You know any HBs that DON'T have boyfriends?

 

[Luke Skywalker]

I agree with skip. I've had a girl give a number to be earlier this year, and called her, and her boyfriend picked up the line and I said "wrong number". She never told me she had a boyfriend when she gave out the number and it was a true number. (Got the boyfriend a second time as I delayed calling her a day too long, did get her once, but she told me to call later as she was at work. Now I dont think she likes me anymore since I didn't pursue her, and gives me a hard time whenever I'm at the store). <On a non-November/February/March month, I'm in always in a state of confusion of whether I want a relationship or simply get laid, so on off-months, easy-lay opportunities with girls with bfs may likely be passed>

A boyfriend is a relative concept and if it's mentioned or brought up on the normal course of conversation (without you asking directly - but you gave her an SOI) then she wont bring it up if she's interested enough. I mean, you start looking like a cheat, or feeling of having no scruples pursuing someone who makes that type of an objection.

 

[Luke Skywalker]

I think girls with boyfriends or who are married or who are single and sleeping with everyone are the best types of people to get an 'easy lay' from. That's why skip is right. By raising that objection, that means they are either not an 'easy lay' type of girl, or are rejecting you, if the objective is just sex.

 

[\O/]

It's not always a rejection. Sometimes it's just a fact. Most girls won't mention having a boyfriend until as late as possible in the conversation if she's attracted to you. She may very well sleep with you if you handle the situation correctly. Girls are sluts and can be easily persuaded.

However, if you go up to a girl and asks for her number in a cold approach and she actually has a boyfriend, there is very little she can do but to tell you and don't give out her number. Sometimes they will give it out anyways, but most of the time they will just be flattered and politely decline the offer (if she's attracted) If she's not attracted and gives the bf-line, then it's a rejection. She might have a bf or not, but if she's a ***** about giving out her number to you it really doesn't matter. It's pure rejection.

Last night I was at a bar and walked up to a girl i talked to for 30 seconds in the line 5 minutes earlier and told her she seemed like a cool person and that she should give me her number so that we could hang out sometime. She told me that she was living with her bf so that was not appropriate, but that she would have definitely given it to me had she been single. Was she lying? I don't know, but I didn't feel rejected nor did I feel she was shyt-testing me...

 

[ElStud]

If she's interested enough, she wont even bring up the boyfriend.

 

[speakeasy]

Maybe she actually does have a boyfriend.

 

[bigjohnson]

It's mostly context, and if you're motivated enough most objections can be overcome. She had a BF _before_ this current guy too, actually women hate to be alone and any hot girl will ALWAYS have a BF or two on the hook. They won't free up a branch grabbing hand unless they think you're worth it, so what this says is "I already have what I perceive to be a better bet". If it's important then the guy making the approach has to change that perception.

Social proof is a huge key here. She doesn't know anything about you so what she THINKS she knows is going to come from the context you are presented in.

Honestly for me nowadays if she's not already convinced, it's not worth the time - there are SO many out there it's not even funny and the fact is that even though I'm no Rod Stewart I'm still a pretty good catch. The best thing a guy can do IMO is just improve himself in real and measurable ways and improve the circle of friends you have. Winners don't hang with losers.

 

[Nighthawk]

Sometimes it's a rejection, sometimes it's an unhappy fact. Learn to use non-verbal clues about what she wants.

 

[girl_in_a_boy_forum]

There are the genuine girls who actually have boyfriends and won't cheat no matter what, the girls who have boyfriends but don't really care about them and will cheat, and the girls who use the "I have a boyfriend" line as an excuse. If a girl says "I have a boyfriend" early into the conversation and is adamant about it, it's rejection, and the effort you expend on trying to steal her is far greater than just finding another girl. If a girl doesn't mention her boyfriend at all, mentions him as a last resort, and/or sleeps with you anyways, she's a craptastic girlfriend.

I hate it when I tell guys hitting on me/asking me out that I have a boyfriend and they treat it like a minor obstacle, not a rejection, as if I have no loyalty to my man whatsoever and would gladly pursue a random guy I just met. These days I just say "no" for sake of clarity.

 

[Natural Player]

Uh, yeah. And self-admitted girls are allowed to post here because...?

this girl is making a good point in the thread, but you are right

theres is no reason a girl should be on sosuave.com, its absolutely NOT a site for girls, its outrageous

how many more girls are on this????

 

[noirsake]

i have NEVER had a girl who is interested tell me or "test" me by saying she has a boyfriend.

Whether a girl is single or not, if she says she has a boyfriend, that means literally "I DO NOT WANT TO PURSUE ANYTHING PHYSICAL WITH U"

it is absolutely NOT a shyt test!!!

i cant believe some people think its a shyt test.......maybe all u "don juans" have ur little "confident" (aka insecure) heads up ur asses that u think every rejection is just a shyt test? Because in reality, if everyone was as confident as they thy to think they are, then they wouldnt need to justify a girl rejecting him (saying "oh its nice u wanna take me out, but I have a bf, sorry") by calling ti a shyt test. A REAL MAN will know that shes just not interested and not be phased by it.

Wanna know how to know if shes interested???? If she has a boyfriend and says she is single - THAT is a sign of pure sexual interest.

"I have a boyfriend" is NOT a shyt test, its just THE most common ******** style rejection every chick uses to avoid confrontation. Its her way out of hurting your feelings, and its her way of being gentle with her rejection. I laugh at fools who consider this a shyt test, because they seem to think that because they are so confident with all their don juaness, that SURELY a girl is just testing them when she says "I have a boyfriend"

IT IS NOT A SHYT TEST, IT IS A REJECTION. LEARN IT. ACCEPT IT. AND MOVE ON.

PLAY THE NUMBERS GAME!

if they say they have a BF I say "Finally! Now I have someone to make me breakfast!" I continue the conversation and look for any opportunity to dis her bf