I hate this [FR]

Tyson420

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Truthfully, I'd rather stay away from this site. My life has hugely improved when the focus wasn't on girls, game and pick up. I don't use PUA techniques, and you'll notice if you care to continue reading.

Unfortunately, this one turned my priorities upside down.

I often take a bus to work, the bus is where I first met her. A mutual friend introduced us. She's wide-eyed and badgered me with questions. I thought she was somewhat cute, but still a 6 or 7 on the scale. A minor side-show amusement at best.

She's a co-worker, we're both temporaries. Our contracts end soon. Initial introductions, interest level was high. I visit her area where she's with her friend and we chat a bit during my break.

When she greeted me in the morning, I didn't notice because she'd whisper it. She told me later that she and her friend thought that I was rude but she learned that I was not a morning person and I shut everything out during the first few hours.

Two days ago, we were about to take the same bus and we missed it. As we chatted I couldn't help but notice the interest level she had, I decided that I'd try her out, out of curiosity. "I'm going into *coffee shop*. To get a *drink*, come if you want."

Maybe my first mistake was sitting there in the coffee shop and letting her chat my ear off for four hours. I thought she was interesting. Devout Christian and our conversations became personal. Maybe I lost the 'mystery' edge, because I used to 'accidentally' ignore her at work.

Parted ways. Later that night, adds me on facebook. To tell me her family has been teasing her about being on a 'date'. She's very young, by the way.

Day 2, not much happened. Though when we walked home, she asked about what I am going to do this weekend. This was yesterday. I said that my friends are still trying to plan. I asked her the same question.

She tells me everything, what she is going to be doing for each day, then tells me she is free saturday.

My friends said they were going to dave and busters, then club later because the building is right next to it. i thought I'd take her there for a first date then part ways with my friends to the club without telling her.

Day 3. Asked her if she was still free saturday, she hesitates and said she probably isn't, because her friends had planned something, but one of them is flaking, and maybe hinted that could pretty much ruin the plan.. She caressed my legs with her feet she asks what I'm doing. I nonchalantly reply that I'm going to D&B with my friends. and 'she can come' if it doesn't work out with her friends.

She asks if it's a 'group thing' I reply 'Probably'.

"I'll let you know." "I'll think about it." I showed no emotion except mild amusement and joked around a bit, but inside... Another story.

When it sunk in. I didn't feel anything, my feelings weren't hurt. I've done this many times, gotten rejected, usually I take it well.

I think the problem is, the rejections were from girls that were incredibly attractive, 9s and 10s. It was fine because accepted that it was a possibility.

I had high expectations and the interest level was high. I hated head games, that is why I've been single for so long and relied on casual game. I've no need for it.

It's lost pride. I still hung out with her a bit just to show everything is normal. What was funny is that her friend not so subtly joked about this girl being 'Forever Alone' and that 'Nobody invites her anywhere'.

To be fair, she did say she had plans. Telling me that she'd let me know would make sense and not make her look desperate.

Dammit, I just wanted some *****. not a loss of pride.
 

Iceberg

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Tyson420 said:
Truthfully, I'd rather stay away from this site. My life has hugely improved when the focus wasn't on girls, game and pick up. I don't use PUA techniques, and you'll notice if you care to continue reading.
The situation is ironic because of this.

Your great flaw here isn't being interested in a girl. It's being interested in ONE girl.

Think about it. Some girl shows mild interest in you, sits down for coffee, and you're writing an essay about her as if you just lost your wife of 8 years. I'm not making fun of you, I'm just adding a dose of reality here.

If you were talking to more than one girl, this chick would just be a minor setback. Because if you're talking to multiple girls, you'd already carry the mentality of "win some, lose some." But since this is probably the only girl on your radar, you have your pride and self esteem wrapped up in this.

You say how you avoid this site because your life is better when it's not focused on girls. But my life isn't focused on women. I enjoy women the same way I enjoy beer and good food. In moderation. If my life has a focus, it's my career and my health.

So you're free to interpret this site how you want, but dont mistake it for some kinda "PUA get-laid-at-all-costs" thing. It CAN be that. But if you know what advice to absorb, and what nonsense to block out, you can be more balanced about your approach with females.

I had high expectations and the interest level was high. I hated head games, that is why I've been single for so long and relied on casual game. I've no need for it.
If I can be honest with you...it seems like you've been single for so long because you're a bit intimidated by women. Which is why you avoid them under the pretense of "focusing on other things." Again, I'm not breaking your balls. But I'm not going to do you any good if I'm blowing smoke up your arse. Feel free to correct me if I'm wrong...obviously I know nothing about you.

But I've been in your place before, and I know from personal experience that a guy who cares this much about meaningless interactions with a girl is a guy who doesn't have many options. The more options you have, the less importance these girls have. A girl flaking out after 1 coffee "date" should have no more impact than a mosquito bite.
 

Tyson420

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You've done this longer than I have, which is why it's not a big deal.

This is more about pride, to prove to myself and others 'That I have what it takes'.

I don't know if it can't be interpreted as intimidated but I have no issue befriending women.

But you've read everything, thanks for that. Any other advice other than 'spinning more plates'? What else did I do wrong except oneitus?
 

alxrose04

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It sounds like this girl was really high on you and she may have felt bad that when you invited her out to Dave and Busters, that it was a group thing instead of it being an "alone" date type of thing. Also, it sounds like you may have underestimated her. Even though she wasn't a "10" she's a woman and still needs to be gamed like any other girl. Even if you do want some p*ssy, still need to put the work in. Just my thought.

I don't know if you didn't put in the effort because you may have been scared of rejection but in order to live you need to put yourself out there and if you talk to enough girls, you won't even feel the sting.
 

Tyson420

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alxrose04 said:
It sounds like this girl was really high on you and she may have felt bad that when you invited her out to Dave and Busters, that it was a group thing instead of it being an "alone" date type of thing. Also, it sounds like you may have underestimated her. Even though she wasn't a "10" she's a woman and still needs to be gamed like any other girl. Even if you do want some p*ssy, still need to put the work in. Just my thought.

I don't know if you didn't put in the effort because you may have been scared of rejection but in order to live you need to put yourself out there and if you talk to enough girls, you won't even feel the sting.
Maybe, I don't know. I think I'll just shake it off like the 2nd poster said. It doesn't matter.

I'll try again another time but I'm not really holding my breath.
 

ThunderMaverick

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Hmm. When she asked if it was a group thing and you said yes it probably turned her off. There are other variables that you might be overlooking.

She was talking to you, came along with you to get coffee and initiated a bit of kino. That usually means more touching is to come. It reminds me of my first ex. She did the exact thing at the coffee place, rubbing her legs on mine. At the end of the date we kissed. I think it could have gone in that direction with you, but maybe she thought you weren't that interested.

If I get that from a girl i usually play along and raise the stakes. Oh, I've been rejected because of mixed signals, but i always went for it. Under the conditions you described it goes into the more physical direction. I can tell you 90% of the time it does.


man there was this one time a met a chick at a job i was applying at. She had me come over to her house...she was touching my ass and everything on the way there, just heavy flirting.

We went up to her room and sat on her bed. She starting kinda lifting up her shirt teasing. Then we talked about the "casting couch" and if i was her director. Kept telling her what I'd to do her.

She was like "yeah?"

And I leaned in to kiss her and she backed up like and said "what are you dong?!"

I was stunned, confused and over it. i left. lol
 

NewAndImproved

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alxrose04 said:
It sounds like this girl was really high on you and she may have felt bad that when you invited her out to Dave and Busters, that it was a group thing instead of it being an "alone" date type of thing.
THIS.

She was interested.

But for some reason you had a negative perception going into the date, during the date and leaving the date that you couldn't see it.

Just my opinion, though, of course :D
 

amoka

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alxrose04 said:
It sounds like this girl was really high on you and she may have felt bad that when you invited her out to Dave and Busters, that it was a group thing instead of it being an "alone" date type of thing.
I agree with you that the girl was expecting "alone" time but the OP already told her he was going to D&B with his friends. Most chicks would rather get to know the circle of friends a guy associates himself with before going on one-on-one date. This chick on the other hand seems to an antisocial kind, as was already pointed out by her friends. And if she did not go because OP was not going on one-on-one date with her, it is best she is kept at home alone.
 

pdx1138

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amoka said:
Most chicks would rather get to know the circle of friends a guy associates himself with before going on one-on-one date.

huh?

for me and a lot of others its the exact opposite.
 

JohnChops

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Why would you make your main focus on women anyway. The point of this site is to improve yourself in all aspects of life not just women. You are one sided and.negative. you have a lot.of.work to do on yourself.
 

What happens, IN HER MIND, is that she comes to see you as WORTHLESS simply because she hasn't had to INVEST anything in you in order to get you or to keep you.

You were an interesting diversion while she had nothing else to do. But now that someone a little more valuable has come along, someone who expects her to treat him very well, she'll have no problem at all dropping you or demoting you to lowly "friendship" status.

Quote taken from The SoSuave Guide to Women and Dating, which you can read for FREE.

TillTheEndOfTime

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A girl's attractiveness is no indication of whether or not she is attracted to you. Don't look at it like "you can't get a 6/7". That's not true.

Simply put, not all girls are going to be into you. That goes for 5's, 6's, 7's, 8's, 9's....
 
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