I hate myself for being a fool/idiot in pubs/clubs

[SlyDonJuan]

I've went clubbing a few times and yet I am inexperience. Basically, all I do there is drink, sit and look around and dance at times but not often. I don't know what the f*ck am I even doing there in the first place. My friends who were with me think I am weird. But I think there are many people who think going to clubs is something cool. I agree with it although I can't explain why there are many people there.

So how do I act as if I am part of the crew and not acting all weird in clubs? People see me as a naive moron not knowing what the heck he is doing there. Furthermore, many have said that I am a guy who doesnt look like a clubber.

 

[Oscar Wilde]

Go to clubs where you like the music and enjoy yourself with that.

Relax and smile.

Everyone isn't out to get you!

 

[Unbridled_1]

who cares what anybody else thinks, just be secure with yourself and have a fun time.

 

[FlyGuy]

Hey, I know how you feel man. I feel really out of place at clubs too. There aren't any clubs in town that play music I really like (I don't like dance/pop very much) and on top of that I CAN'T DANCE!

If I was REALLY interested in going clubbing (and I'm not sure that I am) I would learn how to dance first. Some people tell you to "just go out on the dance floor and move to the music" but whenever I do I end up looking like a geek who knows jack sh!t about dancing. Is it because I care about what people think of my dancing? No, its because I simply don't know how to dance. Being self conscious about it only makes me want to avoid clubs. If I could dance better I wouldn't mind the music and I might even have fun.

Also, make sure you wear the right clothes for clubbing. If you don't know what kind of clothes to get, observe others for examples. If you don't look out of place, dance, and have fun then your problem will be solved.

 

[Matt Rogers]

Sly, you seem to indulge in mind-reading a lot. Just because people seem confident doesn;t mean they are. Similarly just because you feel out of place doesn;t mean they think that too. Ditch your friends if they make fun of you, and just have some fun

 

[SlyDonJuan]

Why does this happens?

What am I going to do? Am I paranoid??? Am I a little bit unstable in the mind??

I feel like a weirdo in a club cause I dont behave like one of them there. DAMN!!!!!

I just dont know what the heck is the problem. I can't figure out the right clothes to wear, how to dance and etc. I am like a f*cking complete total loser. ARGH!!!!!!

Why do people think I am a decent guy who doesn't go to clubs often? They even told me that. Should I be a jerk who smokes, drinks and do whatever fu*cking sh|t others are doing to make sure I will be seen as cool?

 

[PEPE LE PIU]

Well you can start by wearing a big smile. As for the clothing, i believe that you have some female friend, sister cousin or whatever, to go shopping together.

 

[Starman]

dude if you dont enjoy going clubbing , dont go..there are women in other places..like bookstores, parties, social clubs, health clubs, bus stops, bars/taverns..etc..I notice women are easier at bars/pubs vs clubbing scenes

 

[ArmaniX82]

Works for me

I frequently go to clubs in and around the philly area and this always work for me.

First I try to find a place to stand/sit where I can see as much of the place as possible in order to check out the scene and get to feel more comfortable with my surroundings. But i'm not just sitting there looking lonely. I try to put off a certain vibe . . look confident, smile when a cute girl walks by and make it look like i've been there before, even if i haven't. After I check out the dance floor and the bar i like to take a walk around the place and see whats happening in other parts of the club. This also helps me get to feel more comfortable with the place. When it comes time to dance I usually start off in a darker side of the dance floor then move my way to the middle as a feel more comfortable with my dancing. It's all about feeling comfortable with your surroundings.

 

[SLIKKER_THAN_AVG]

dude if you dont enjoy going clubbing , dont go..there are women in other places..like bookstores, parties, social clubs, health clubs, bus stops, bars/taverns..etc..I notice women are easier at bars/pubs vs clubbing scenes

I Agree..why does everyone think that clubbing is the esiest place to meet women? It isnt a lot of times because of the b!tch shields that are up....having to deal with c*ckblockers...and its really loud as well..there are other places..trust me if you dont go clubbing you're not really missing out on much.


I used to go all the time but now i dont go as much..there are otehr places..you just have to find them.

 

[Starman]

I have a friend who looks like a complete idiot with multiple sclerosis when he dances..but he is VERY confident..the girls laugh at his dance..but he ALWAYS hooks up..

SUre being a good dancer = wet panties

but just going out there , having fun, showing confidence will work too

 

[T-4ze]

I agree with the guy who says if you're not comfortable at clubs, dont go. You don't need to fit in with that type of crowd if you aren't feeling it. Me, I'm the clubber guy, I go usually once a month or every other month, and I pretty much hit the same club because I am so comfortable there, I know most of the bouncers, bartenders, and promoters and thats what you need. If you really want to fit into the crowd, pick one club, stick with it talk to the bouncers that search you and card you, tip the bartender, do what you gotta do. Once you have the respect from the people who run the joint, it's cake.

As for dancing...practice in front of a mirror, do what you feel comfortable with, if it feels comfortable but you think you might look like a dork who gives a ****. My friend is like a crackhead on the dance floor, hes like flailing his arms around and jumping irradically, but he is such a fun person to be around, people see that and they just join in the craziness.

Clothes...different clubs different vibes. Soem clubs require you to dress to impress, others don't allow jeans, hats, sports attire. Some clubs allow sneakers, others don't. You figure it out yourself. When I started hittin' this club that I always go to now, I started dressing like the ****, collar shirt, slacks, dress shoes. After the 3rd time, I realized that this club promotes dressing stylish, but the people just didn't, so I kinda stuck out. I changed my style to a more casual look, button-up short sleeve shirt, jeans, black suede sneakers. The objective is to somewhat blend in with the crowd, but at the same time have some unique flare in your style.

If you want some more specific tips on dancing I can really help you out because I take hip hop dance sessions, break-dance, and other crap, so I can teach you how to move to the beats if you want. Give me your AIM if you would like the help.

 

[davelmn2003]

I don't look like a clubber either. I go because I want to hook up with girls or at least have some drinking.

I can tell you this: I don't know how to dance, but AFTER A FEW DRINKS, I normally would relax enough and not care about what other people think, so I dance to the beat! You know what, I think girls like to see a relaxed, fun-loving guy. My female friends and a girl who approached me on the dance floor told me just that--she loved my dancing and fun-loving attitude even though I didn't know how to dance. I told her that, but she said it didn't matter because I just relaxed and had fun.

Again, I'm a very self-conscious person, so some alchohol would definitely help. Man, after 3 drinks last night, I would even be bold enough to approach a group of girls! Considering how shy I am, I must attribute the courage to the alchohol. BUT don't drink too much. After 3 or 4 drinks you begin to look like a drunk and girls may not like that. I'd say, two drinks to get you started.

This is what I do:
I tell myself, there are a whole bunch of girls out there, and I'm here sitting by myself, drinking. Just approach them, they don't know who you are and the likelihood is that they'll never see me again (unless, you get a date!).

Last night I did just that. I began to feel stupid sitting by myself. So I drank some beer (like 3 glasses) and started moving to the dance floor. I rejected by a few girls, but I told myself, what the heck, who cares, so I moved on to other girls. I got some grinding action going on with a group of girls last night, so I think it went alright.

to repeat, if you're a self-conscious person like me, get some drinks first!!