Sometimes it gets to point where, like tonight, this fat slob mother fvcker is loud a lot when I'm trying to sleep if it's not the TV is his mouth. Now he works at the grocery store. Part time so he doesn't work regular hours. This fat piece of sh1t you should see what he eats, absolutely disgusting. I don't even like sugar at all. I never eat candy, or sweets because they're gross. He is a heinous excuse for a human being and a pray to God the we never get socialized healthcare in this countries because pieces of sh1t like him deserve to get diabetes so badly that he gets his feet apputated.
Tonight I'm laying here trying to go to sleep and I hear his loud @ss mouth and now I'm thinking man I wish I come find tomorrow to find out he got hit by a cement truck and if that does happen I have to say something like "omg really? That's terrible" because people will think I'm weird or disturbed if I literally don't give a fvck because I wouldn't. Then I start thinking about how it would be like if I get a baseball bat and wait till he goes to bed, about 1.5 hours and just beat his head in. Or how I would love to shoot him in the face. I wouldn't do something like that because I would obviously get caught. But man I think about doing stuff like this. I play it through my head and imagine basically if I was to do something like that what would it feel like.
Do you guys ever think and imagine about doing this to people? If I could get away with it I would be completely comfortable with doing this to him. But it's not worth it so I just try not to entertain the impulse. I think I might have anger problems. There's other people too that I really don't like. Like that black kid who got beaten and stabbed for assaulting that girl, I'm glad that happened ty to him, he got what was coming to him, not even because he assaulted the girl, I don't know her so it doesn't illicit emotions from me, but I hate that guy before all that, and a couple weeks before he got beaten and stabbed up, I said in my head "the mother fvcker will get what's coming to him one day" and when this guy I knew told me what happened, I literally said "good he deserved that". He disrespected me one time, and to be honest the night before I got off yung street, I had a bit to drink and I was looking for him, I know where he slept, I had steel toes on, I was going to kick him as hard as I could in the head. I went to where he sleeps, I looked for him he said wasn't there, I left for 1.5 hours, came back still not there, did the same thing one more time, i couldn't find him, so I let it go.
I swear to God. I just went out there and calmly and extremely sternly said something and at I'm telling you, I really can't fvck this up. I'm on track to make more money than any of these idiots in this house. But I swear to God, I'm starting to imagine hurting this guy.