LONG READ but I REALLY need insight from experienced guys.
I met this girl (let's call her Amy) three weeks ago at a club. I went to this club for a friend's birthday party and she was invited along. We instantly hit it off and spend the whole night together. We got quite drunk and ended up having sex in the club's pool and hot tub. Before we parted ways that morning, she gave me her business card.
I call her the next day and have a light, funny conversation. We decided to meet up for dinner that coming week. Since the club situation, we have went out on three dates. I noticed from the first date that Amy had closed off body language and didn't seem very open to touching. I let it slide the first time. When we went out again, towards the end of the night I called her on it. This opened up a long conversation about something happening to her a couple years ago and she's not really comfortable with showing affection to a guy. So, I listened and sympathized with her emotions.
A week goes past and we agree to meet again for dinner. On the day of our date, she texted me and asked if I wanna stop by her place for a beer before we go out. So, I stop by her place and chill for a half hour drinking a beer. We go out, had a good dinner, stopped to a dive bar and played some board games. The night started to wind down and we walk back to her place. I asked if I could chill for an hour because I didn't want to drive home right away. She invites me in.
We listened to some music, talked, however she still wasn't very open. She sat at her computer while I sat on her futon. I know a girl doesn't invite a guy to her place after midnight just to talk. So I told her to come sit by me. She did and we sat close to each other. I started making out with her and feeling her up. She then pushed me away and started to cry. She said that having sex brings up the past and it makes her feel disgusted. She may also have sex with me and then don't want to ever see me again. I calmed her down by saying that she wouldn't invited me up if she didn't feel something for me, and that she can't let her past affect her now.
She calmed down and we had sex. During our lovemaking, she seemed into it (meaning she wasn't just lying still like a rock). After we had sex, she goes out onto her balcony for about twenty minutes. She comes back to bed and falls asleep. I stayed over since I had to leave at 7:00. Before I left in the morning, she was still asleep but I woke her up with a kiss and said I had to go which she replied "have a good day". I said we should talk later.
Fast forward to that evening, I called her and she didn't answer. Text her about 30 minutes later and no response. I called her again but she turned off her phone. So, I decided to go over her place and see if she would face me. Fortunately, I caught her leaving out. I said that we needed to talk. Let's not just have sex and that be the end of it. So, we talk for about 45 minutes on the steps.
The conversation basically turned into a LJBF convo. She said that she's confused and not physically attracted to me. She loves my personality, but we can't progress past that. She also admits she doesn't have a type and personality matters more to her. So, I tell her to bluntly tell me what she finds unattractive about me. Since the whole time we've been seeing each other, you said the problem was being affectionate and intimate with a guy and now you're saying you don't find me physically attractive. She thought about the question and said there are two reasons. 1. I could be bigger (I have a slim body build) 2. I'm black and her Irish catholic family would be against the relationship and she couldn't see this being long term. She said that she doesn't have a problem dating black guys but why get serious if her family would be against it?
SO! The whole point of this thread is can a guy be placed in the friend zone after being intimate with a girl twice and making out more than once? Do you really believe she doesn't find me attractive? Is this the kind of girl that will take a lot of time before she falls in love with someone, and needs constant reassurance or does she really mean LJBF?
This can become a case of ONEITIS. She is the first girl I've dated and had sex with. I've had sex with women before but it was a one time thing. No relationship, no dating. I'm 25 years old (pretty pathetic, huh?). Since I haven't dated many types of women, every situation is new to me. This may be a classic example of a "crazy b*tch" or whatever and I wouldn't know since I'm just starting to break out of my shell.
What should I do with her?
I met this girl (let's call her Amy) three weeks ago at a club. I went to this club for a friend's birthday party and she was invited along. We instantly hit it off and spend the whole night together. We got quite drunk and ended up having sex in the club's pool and hot tub. Before we parted ways that morning, she gave me her business card.
I call her the next day and have a light, funny conversation. We decided to meet up for dinner that coming week. Since the club situation, we have went out on three dates. I noticed from the first date that Amy had closed off body language and didn't seem very open to touching. I let it slide the first time. When we went out again, towards the end of the night I called her on it. This opened up a long conversation about something happening to her a couple years ago and she's not really comfortable with showing affection to a guy. So, I listened and sympathized with her emotions.
A week goes past and we agree to meet again for dinner. On the day of our date, she texted me and asked if I wanna stop by her place for a beer before we go out. So, I stop by her place and chill for a half hour drinking a beer. We go out, had a good dinner, stopped to a dive bar and played some board games. The night started to wind down and we walk back to her place. I asked if I could chill for an hour because I didn't want to drive home right away. She invites me in.
We listened to some music, talked, however she still wasn't very open. She sat at her computer while I sat on her futon. I know a girl doesn't invite a guy to her place after midnight just to talk. So I told her to come sit by me. She did and we sat close to each other. I started making out with her and feeling her up. She then pushed me away and started to cry. She said that having sex brings up the past and it makes her feel disgusted. She may also have sex with me and then don't want to ever see me again. I calmed her down by saying that she wouldn't invited me up if she didn't feel something for me, and that she can't let her past affect her now.
She calmed down and we had sex. During our lovemaking, she seemed into it (meaning she wasn't just lying still like a rock). After we had sex, she goes out onto her balcony for about twenty minutes. She comes back to bed and falls asleep. I stayed over since I had to leave at 7:00. Before I left in the morning, she was still asleep but I woke her up with a kiss and said I had to go which she replied "have a good day". I said we should talk later.
Fast forward to that evening, I called her and she didn't answer. Text her about 30 minutes later and no response. I called her again but she turned off her phone. So, I decided to go over her place and see if she would face me. Fortunately, I caught her leaving out. I said that we needed to talk. Let's not just have sex and that be the end of it. So, we talk for about 45 minutes on the steps.
The conversation basically turned into a LJBF convo. She said that she's confused and not physically attracted to me. She loves my personality, but we can't progress past that. She also admits she doesn't have a type and personality matters more to her. So, I tell her to bluntly tell me what she finds unattractive about me. Since the whole time we've been seeing each other, you said the problem was being affectionate and intimate with a guy and now you're saying you don't find me physically attractive. She thought about the question and said there are two reasons. 1. I could be bigger (I have a slim body build) 2. I'm black and her Irish catholic family would be against the relationship and she couldn't see this being long term. She said that she doesn't have a problem dating black guys but why get serious if her family would be against it?
SO! The whole point of this thread is can a guy be placed in the friend zone after being intimate with a girl twice and making out more than once? Do you really believe she doesn't find me attractive? Is this the kind of girl that will take a lot of time before she falls in love with someone, and needs constant reassurance or does she really mean LJBF?
This can become a case of ONEITIS. She is the first girl I've dated and had sex with. I've had sex with women before but it was a one time thing. No relationship, no dating. I'm 25 years old (pretty pathetic, huh?). Since I haven't dated many types of women, every situation is new to me. This may be a classic example of a "crazy b*tch" or whatever and I wouldn't know since I'm just starting to break out of my shell.
What should I do with her?
Date many more different kinds of chicks and grab the ones that you want in the end 
