Happiness isn't boring. It's your life that is boring, then you're using the drama to fill the gap left by the boredom. First thing you have to do is understand that the reason that the word "happiness" has eluded people for so long is because people didn't know what "it" is.
I'm one of the few people who knows what it is and it's so simple. I can explain why it's been so elusive to many people for thousands of years. It's not because I'm any smarter, just that I carefully observe. It's because I've observed my own experiences and other people's experiences.
Happiness isn't ONE STATE. This is where many of the philosophers over the past few thousand years screwed up. Happiness is a word that encompasses MANY DIFFERENT emotional states. When we laugh with friends or watch a good comedy, in that moment we would say we're "happy". When we go to an amusement park and enjoy a day there, we say we're "happy", in that moment.
When you share a moment of connection with a woman you love, you could call that "happiness" too. When you're relaxing out in nature, in the woods or at the beach, you can say you're "content" or "happy". When you play a game you think is fun and escape your worries, you call that feeling in that moment "happiness". When you feel a sense of fulfillment from your work or a job well done, you feel satisfied and maybe even what some would call "happy" in that moment.
You play video games with friends and joke around and talk trash. Again, you could say you're having a good time and having fun, usually when people are having fun we can say they look happy. You might also feel good when you're enjoying your favorite music. Also, when you feel like you have purpose and are moving in the right direction towards your purpose, many experience contentment, satisfaction, and happiness.
So to answer the question that many people and philosophers never understood the answer to........
What is happiness?
Happiness= pleasurable emotions
Unhappiness= painful emotions
When we see people who are laughing or excited or calm and relaxed, or when we are absorbed in something we enjoy, when we feel love and connection with someone, when we work towards a purpose and feel satisfaction, when we are playful, when we're having fun, or simply just thankful and appreciative, when we have a lighthearted conversation or an interesting conversation, any number of things we could label under happiness if we wanted to.
When a person is disappointed or frustrated or sad or afraid or depressed or any number of other painful emotions, we call this unhappiness.
Now, in less than a page we've unraveled that "mystery". Not so elusive or mysterious once we realize how simple happiness really is. We can simply laugh it off now, and get down to the business of enjoying life. Now, see if your experiences match up to what I've said so far. If it does, here comes the fun part.
***You list everything in your environment and in your past experiences that you enjoy. The small and the big things. List colors you enjoy, tv shows you enjoy, music you like that makes you feel good (avoid music with nice melodies or good beats that leaves you feeling depressed....stick with music that has a nice melody and/or beat that leaves you feeling good afterwards). Notice activities that make you feel good. People you enjoy being around, etc. Surround yourself with the things and people you enjoy. You can do this for free or little money. TV is free. Music on the radio is free. Opening a window or letting the shades back to let sunlight in is free. You get the picture. I'm not advocating blind consumerism, but a using of your present environment to your advantage and to use it as a way to push you in the direction of happiness.
The idea isn't to be in a high state of excitation all of the time. You can be in a state of excitation some of the time and in a state of relaxation other times. Pick a balance that works for you. Some of the things you enjoy may trigger milder or calmer pleasant emotions, while others will create stronger, more intense pleasurable feelings. Excitement 100% of the time might becoming exhausting. But a dash here and there is nice, along with some relaxation and being absorbed in activities or things.
Also, develop an attitude of thankfulness for everything good in life. Find a purpose that gives you fulfillment as well. Your purpose could be as simple as working towards specific goals and/or being true to your own personal philosophy and living it every day. It doesn't have to be anything profound. A barrage of pleasures without any purpose or goal in mind that is in the background, moving you, might begin to feel empty. Then again, maybe not.
Make sure to develop a code of ethics, which you probably already have. Never betray your sense of right and wrong for an endless flood of pleasures but find pleasure in living up to your code of conduct. The pleasures will be even sweeter if you have a clear conscience and choose to live a good life. You can live up to your code of ethics, be a good person, and experience TONS of pleasure too. They are not mutually exclusive.
I think if you do all of this, you'll find the drama and b.s. a lot less appealing. I could be wrong, but I believe that happiness isn't the problem but that boredom is. Then you use the crappy feelings to at least jolt you out of the boredom. It accomplishes its purpose but I think for you there's a better way, otherwise you'd be completely satisfied with your misery and you wouldn't have mentioned it on this board, as if you're looking for some kind of answer and a way out.
If you do exactly as I've instructed in this reply, you will get out of your pattern by doing the opposite of what you've been doing.
A final piece. Mentally review and relive pleasant experiences from your past every day, for fifteen minutes. From any time, recent or distant past. Your mind will throw some recent ones and some good experiences you haven't thought about in years. It could be major, very memorable experiences (vacations or some social event that was somehow different) or it could be small ( lunch at a place you went to 10 years ago or a spot you use to go to or the time you went hiking at such and such a place.....it could be times with friends or family or a woman you forgot about).
It could also be as mundane as a good conversation you had with someone a week ago or something you enjoyed for lunch two weeks ago.
So your mind becomes focused on good memories and you have good experiences in the present. With so many good things on your mind and in your environment, you can't help but feel good.
