I guess this is growing up

[teagan]

I always had fun meeting new girls and I always had fun experiencing what they had to offer to me, but now I just feel a lot of emptiness when I meet a new girl. I guess the fun of hooking up has grown off me. I am really at a point in my life where I just want to meet someone who is not a waste of my time.

I know Im young, only 20, but Im just sick of these empty girls. Girls who fvck up their lives just to have a good time and who have no real goals other than to drink and get laid.

I cannot believe I feel this way but Im sick of it. I just want someone who I can experience new things with, not just some good looking girl who puts out. I want someone who will always be by my side. Someone who supports me to the end.

Sure, I have best friends but I want that female partner who never leaves my side. My best friend and my lover.

Im just wondering if any of you guys have ever felt this way before? I would love some advice on this because it is definitely a new step for me.

 

[piranha45]

Try hitting on fat chicks, and ugly chicks; they often develop character and personality to substitute for their lack of aesthetics. Plus, they'll know you're way out of their league and they're lucky as all heck to have you, so they'll bond to you better.

Oh, and hit on old women too.

 

[teagan]

It's funny you say older women cause the last woman I was with was 25. I was her boy toy but it wasn't so bad, there were perks and benefits cause I lied about my age a little.

But that's not what matters. Am I going soft for thinking the way I am right now?

 

[Darth]

I'm 18 and I already think this way.

Good lucks are important, but it's what's inside that counts.

Maybe I should move down to the south...I hear southern girls are friendlier and have better personalities...

 

[Interceptor]

Number one, lose the resentment and bitterness towards ANYONE for your experience. They are not at fault. I dont believe in taking a blame game attitude.
I think its important to let go of any overly judgemental and critical perspective on other people.
The ideal thing is to honor and at least give them their space to do the things they want to do. Honor their place in life, and most importantly, their maturity and level of growth.

We are no one to look down on others ultimately.

And it's hard to do.
But sometimes the hard thing is the IDEAL thing. Its the thing that leads us to more growth, experience, skills, maturity, and self empowement.



Secondly, its perfectly fine for you to honor your desire to want something more, something deeper with a partner.
You dont have to prove anything to anybody.

Understand, however, that a succesful LTR (I believe thats what youre looking for) necessitates a very mature man, with a well rounded skill set of relationship management skills.
This means you better know what you want, and how to deal with your partner in the good and the bad, and be able to let go when its not working out. Recognize what is wrong and take the steps to fix it, tolerate no disrespect but honor , respect, and never take your partner for granted .Work on not being complacent, and be very very self aware, and fully present to your partner as much as you can possibly muster. And many more..
A tall order...

This means that it would certainly benefit you to use this time where you appear to not be meeting suitable women, to improve yourself and your understanding, and build you skills with women and relatonships.
We can all certainly use plenty of work in all areas.
As there is always room for improvement , and it benefits us ALL to remain teachable and eager to learn and improve ourselves.
Learn from mistakes, and be responsible for your own.

You WILL eventually meet someone suitable.
I would think you would prefer to be prepared as best as possible.
Great people will be expecting great things for themselves. Great people will be desiring great things for themselves.
So in order to have the smoothest possible experiences with women, it will benefit us to be as well rounded in interacting with them as much as possible.


Keep working on your Mission in life, and find balance in living accomplishing your goals in the social areas, and your personal areas.
And try to learn how to appreciate the company of women who may not be sutiable for partnering but still provide some female companionship qualities.
Also, be very very aware, that the less needy you are for this one special type of woman, the less chance of any Oneitis or manipulation, or lax boundaries, etc. In other words, try not to unintentionally pedastlize this special type of woman. Be prepared.

Good luck.

 

[teagan]

Interceptor- Your post makes a lot of sense and I see things in it that I really did not think about before. Thank you for the insight, I think it is exactly what I needed.

 

[Maeisgood]

I would say those girls will grow up eventually and maybe you are mentally more mature than they are, but then again, no one truly grows up completely anymore, look at all of those hopeful "You're still young at heart" ads geared towards aging baby boomers. They never grew up really.


I'm about to feel as you do about wanting one really awesome girl, but they'll eventually grow up and become clingy, and you may miss the careless days of teens and early twenties. You have the rest of your life to sit on a couch with an aging, expanding woman and watch her boring tv shows and snuggle.

That's what most couples end up doing.