I got shot down and I hate it ;<

[HalfAddict]

All I am trying to say is he is making too much of an emotional investment in a girl who has shown little interest, to top it off he is trying to bone a girl at work... I am pretty sure we all know how this ends.

 

[Somedude_UK_31]

wao when I run into her she completely ignores me and doesn't even say hi and it's as if we never spoke. All this because I asked her once for lunch? I thought they liked it when someone showed interest?

I wanna burn this b*tch so bad if she ever tries to speak with me later. Stupid girl I feel so bad because I even considered her, I knew I should've sticked to the top girls, at least they are worth it if they reject you.

 

[Somedude_UK_31]

I swear she's at most an HB5...I'm so mad I fvcking made her feel worth anything.

 

[omega05]

she wasn't an hb5 when you were trying to get at her. Go work on yourself first

 

[Somedude_UK_31]

she wasn't an hb5 when you were trying to get at her. Go work on yourself first

First, read my original posts, I did mention she was at that level no more.

Second, you sound like one of those guys that will sell out anyone and everyone and side with the girl "hoping" to get laid.

 

[foreverAFC]

I swear she's at most an HB5...I'm so mad I fvcking made her feel worth anything.

whatever man get used it. its not the end the of world.

 

[Jay Dee]

whatever man get used it. its not the end the of world.

Quite literally, get used to rejection. If anything, chat a few more birds up so that you can get used to the turn downs as I guarantee you these will happen even if you are fully loaded and stacked with chick-pulling superpowers. Then you are never fazed and you can move on immediately without it bruising the ego. Deliberately go for a few high-rated HB's so this occurs as often as possible, but you never know, one might surprise you and go along with it...

 

[yuppaz]

I'm not crying to you guys, I'm just....honestly confused.
For fvck's sake, why does it have to be so damn complex like this to get them? It defies logic: There are so many of them, obviously fvckable otherwise humans wouldn't be multiplying by the millions each year.

I know I'm doing something wrong, I'm not here crying, I'm here to find out what the hell I'm doing wrong.
Dude, I never think I'm better than anyone but I'm 5'11, 200lbs solid, the guys come to me at the gym asking me how to get my body...so I know I should get a decent looking woman. I wanna be myself and not turn it into mission impossible to seduce someone...I'm here to find out what I'm doing wrong.
As I said earlier, when I make the mistake and give a green light to an average girl I have to literally insult her and tell her off multiple times so she can give up on me and leave me alone.
I'm so frustrated

I'll try to be honest without being too blunt. I am basing this on what you wrote above. If I'm wrong tell me to f*ck off..no harm no foul.

I am willing to bet that you don't have a great self image at this point. You likely lack self esteem and confidence in your view of yourself and your view of how other people see you. That is the #1, no question about it (in my mind) reason why you are having trouble and feeling unfulfilled. It's because you want to find fulfillment from outside of yourself instead of finding fulfillment inside of yourself.

This is a death trap for your happiness and well being, as well as in your dating life.

You need to completely remove the focus from getting other peoples approval, or finding your happiness from others (friends, women, family etc.) to giving yourself approval for being exactly who you are (accepting all of your faults and being your own #1 fan).

It can be a very difficult road if you habitually look down on yourself for a long period of time. Sometimes you need therapy to fix this, sometimes practicing a little inner game type stuff will do the trick, sometimes you just need to do things you are a little bit afraid of (irrational fears) to gain confidence and self belief - but when you are finally THERE and you give yourself approval there will be things that you do automatically that will make dating go so much better for you. For example, in this situation you would have done the following:

1. Realized that it isn't a good idea to date at work
2. Not tried to date a girl that to you is only a "6". You would only go for girls that you find beautiful to you
3. You would have known that her reaction was childish and cold, and you would have then known that you don't want to be with people like that, so if she acts like that, forget her there are plenty of fish in the sea that are much better then her
4. Even if she was your beautiful, angel of a girl you would have not had a bad reaction from her because you wouldn't have felt any wanting or needing that she could pick up on and find creepy and a turn off. When you are centered and have a positive self identity, are comfortable in your skin you chase rarely, it's more that you are screening all of the girls that come to you.

So my advice to you is..... stop trying to date girls for a while and find your own inner happiness and positive self identity, focus ONLY on that. Ignore girls for a while and after you are proud of the man you are then just be light and friendly with girls and they will be the ones chasing.


Good luck and I hope that you take my advice.

Cheers!

 

[Somedude_UK_31]

I'll try to be honest without being too blunt. I am basing this on what you wrote above. If I'm wrong tell me to f*ck off..no harm no foul.

I am willing to bet that you don't have a great self image at this point. You likely lack self esteem and confidence in your view of yourself and your view of how other people see you. That is the #1, no question about it (in my mind) reason why you are having trouble and feeling unfulfilled. It's because you want to find fulfillment from outside of yourself instead of finding fulfillment inside of yourself.

This is a death trap for your happiness and well being, as well as in your dating life.

You need to completely remove the focus from getting other peoples approval, or finding your happiness from others (friends, women, family etc.) to giving yourself approval for being exactly who you are (accepting all of your faults and being your own #1 fan).

It can be a very difficult road if you habitually look down on yourself for a long period of time. Sometimes you need therapy to fix this, sometimes practicing a little inner game type stuff will do the trick, sometimes you just need to do things you are a little bit afraid of (irrational fears) to gain confidence and self belief - but when you are finally THERE and you give yourself approval there will be things that you do automatically that will make dating go so much better for you. For example, in this situation you would have done the following:

1. Realized that it isn't a good idea to date at work
2. Not tried to date a girl that to you is only a "6". You would only go for girls that you find beautiful to you
3. You would have known that her reaction was childish and cold, and you would have then known that you don't want to be with people like that, so if she acts like that, forget her there are plenty of fish in the sea that are much better then her
4. Even if she was your beautiful, angel of a girl you would have not had a bad reaction from her because you wouldn't have felt any wanting or needing that she could pick up on and find creepy and a turn off. When you are centered and have a positive self identity, are comfortable in your skin you chase rarely, it's more that you are screening all of the girls that come to you.

So my advice to you is..... stop trying to date girls for a while and find your own inner happiness and positive self identity, focus ONLY on that. Ignore girls for a while and after you are proud of the man you are then just be light and friendly with girls and they will be the ones chasing.


Good luck and I hope that you take my advice.

Cheers!

Hey yuppaz,

Actually I didn't find that offensive at all, if anything it's such constructive replies that keep me coming back to this site so THANKS for your feedback man.

I think that I "think" I'm happy with myself but I really am not and my actions show it
I think my approval of myself got to a point where I think that I need to have a girl I find good looking to date me in order for me to approve of myself.

I honestly sometime sit down in the locker room after a day of working out at the gym and wonder how a guy like me cannot be dating a girl he wants and I start going downhill from there, getting mad, upset, sad, frustrated...etc. I start drawing random conclusions like girls are haters to I must be dillusional about my abilities to my head is too big to my arms aren't as propotional...etc. It's a terrible feeling that eats me up alive on the inside. Fvck it I'm gonna admit I even tear up sometimes

When an ugly girl shows me attention I get so upset because I assume right away that I must be so hedious for her to show me attention.

I'm coming to realize that as much as I try to hide it, my actions and behaviour show the truth about me and convey all of what I said above to people.

I was in a long term relationship before where the ex always told me:
"you would never find anyone better than me"
"my friends ask me what the hell am I doing with someone like you, they say I could do much better"
"you are running out of time and getting too old"

It's been 2 years now but I think her psychological abuse really affected me and I really need to come out of it.

I think I'm constantly seeking approval from people...I WISH I knew how to stop it. If you have any tips, rude or blunt, please give me some...after all that's why I'm here.

 

[yuppaz]

Sounds like your ex was a mega-****.... Plain and simple mate at that point with things being that bad, go see a shrink. At the same time try to catch yourself EVERYTIME you see yourself doing anything to win other people's approval. Watch "deep inner game" with dr paul on you tube. Pay attention and stay on that path. You have poor boundary issues and self esteem issues. That is what you need to work on.

You'll get there, bro don't even sweat it. But the first thing to do is to catch and stop where your behavior is looking for approval from others.

 

[yuppaz]

ps I bet the reason she said sh*t like that to you was because she knew she didn't measure up and that was her manipulative way of trying to keep you.....mega mega c*nt

 

[wataf]

What is backburner time? Please explain.

n
"on the back burner put aside for the time being, as a subject that is not of immediate concern but that may be activated later; postponed"
That's dictionary definition for ya and very true for girls who cares she's just 1 of many girls out there. keep doing your thing with some strange and don't over do it with this broad.

 

[Somedude_UK_31]

Sounds like your ex was a mega-****.... Plain and simple mate at that point with things being that bad, go see a shrink. At the same time try to catch yourself EVERYTIME you see yourself doing anything to win other people's approval. Watch "deep inner game" with dr paul on you tube. Pay attention and stay on that path. You have poor boundary issues and self esteem issues. That is what you need to work on.

You'll get there, bro don't even sweat it. But the first thing to do is to catch and stop where your behavior is looking for approval from others.

OK I booked a dr appointment in 2 weeks so he can refer me to a shrink

I also struggle when it comes to making friends I don't know how to make a friend to be honest. My social circle is zero. When I manage to go to a gathering I feel left out and feel like no one wants to talk to me so I leave very upset and I remain upset for the next few days. I'm afraid of looking stupid and getting ignored if I try to socialize.

Can someone just go to a bar alone? Where can I go alone without looking lonely and make friends? I'm willing to try anything reasonable, I feel so trapped. I hope the shrink will help me but I'm also looking for some advice from people on this site.