I got rejected by a chick who was browsing eharmony, how sad is that??

[OfficeSpace]

Okay, I was in a computer lab with a lab monitor in the LIBRARY. Kind of hard to speak. I guess I should have just sat there and typed on sosuave like all you ballsy guys.

He's right... Jeez, give him a break, maybe even a little encouragement. Most of you might think that's not approaching, but you gotta admit, even what he did takes some balls.

Ever onward, don't mind those guys flaming you. I bet a lot of the guys posting on this site would have just sat there staring at her ass, return home, jerk themselves off, and then get on SS to flame the guys that actually try to make some approaches.

Well, now you learned from EXPERIENCE that writing notes on a piece of paper probably wasn't the best move you could have done with this type of girl. I have used this in a classroom setting though with success. (teacher gets pissed off cuz I talk too much) The thing I didn't do was ask for her number right away. I just wrote, "Hey" and passed the note to her and we just passed notes from there. Obviously it didn't work so well for you.

Don't get me wrong, while I've had success with women, I've been rejected too! A quote I like from the movie Batman was, "Why do we fall? So that we can learn to pick ourselves up."

Hey man, get this behind you and move on. I know it hurts, and makes you wonder if there's something ****ed about you. I'm sure we ALL have our stories of being rejected! (At least for the most of us who have actually approached) I hope to be hearing some encouraging success stories from you soon!

Take it easy bro!

- Neon

 

[Guz200sx]

Good attempt man. It might not have been the best attempt but at least you tried and was shot down like an American Jet Fighter over Japan.

Just an opinion, but maybe next time....I would try writing something like "Hi, Sssshhh, we are in the library. We MUST be quiet. My name is ____. Whats yours?" and then continue on with writing notes back and forth, if she accepts and eventually you will get that number.

Okay so I haven't had much time for bootcamp this summer with summer classes and all...but as I entered the library yesterday there was this HB 9 wearing a short mini skirt walking in ahead of me. I couldn't take my eyes off her...

I went to the restroom before I headed to the computer lab. I walk in and I see her sitting at a computer in the front row. I take a seat behind her; I figure I can check out the eye candy while I check my email. While checking her out, I notice that she's browsing the personals on eharmony. I couldn't believe that a chick this hot would be single AND had to resort to trying to meet someone online!

I didn't feel like approaching. But I knew I couldn't let this oppurtunity slip away. I started formulating a plan to "accidentally" cross paths with her if she left the computer lab. I couldn't think of a way to make it seem natural.

So what did I do? I went up to the lab monitor, grabbed some scratch paper and a pencil, and then wrote on the paper "hi, what's your number?"

I went over and sat down by her. She was genuinely suprised that I was there so I know she hadn't caught a glimpse of me checking her out. I put my note and the pencil right next to her and motioned for her to read it. She said, in a suprised voice: "for me?"

Me: "yep, read it"

She read the note

Her: "I don't think so"

Me: "Oh, okay"

Then I continue using the computer next to her for awhile to play it cool and the note was left in the space between our computers. When I got up to leave, I took the note and wrote on the back: "have a nice day! then I walked out.

I wrote that to make it seem as though her rejection hadn't gotten to me. It bothers me a little bit I must admit. I mean here was this perfectly hot young woman who was actively looking for a date and she just flat out rejected me. I have to admit it's pretty damn funny but on the other hand it kind of stings. I don't know whether to laugh or cry. :crackup:

Oh well, it wasn't a great approach anyway. But at least I had the balls to go for it. Here's to winning the the battle against approach anxiety! :rockon:

 

[OfficeSpace]

Good attempt man. It might not have been the best attempt but at least you tried and was shot down like an American Jet Fighter over Japan.

Just an opinion, but maybe next time....I would try writing something like "Hi, Sssshhh, we are in the library. We MUST be quiet. My name is ____. Whats yours?" and then continue on with writing notes back and forth, if she accepts and eventually you will get that number.

This is the type of attitude I'd like to see more around these forums. Less flaming and more friendly advice! We are DJ's learning from eachother, we should act accordingly! Hey, thanks for your input Guz200sx!

 

[Ever onward]

Actually, I think what I said was quite useful. By telling you that you're a 'tard for asking for a number by way of pen and paper, maybe you won't do it again.

if you dont establish value and comfort, its gonna be damn hard for ya.

You are right. I fully admitted that it was a lame, laughable approach and I thought that it had little to no chance of working, but I still took a shot. I remember when Sosuave was a community where guys could get support for making an effort with a woman, even a lame one, instead of having people jump down their throats for trying.

 

[Ever onward]

buddy ive already got a girlfriend, once again giving a girl a peice of paper doesnt mean you have the balls to approach a girl

Whether I have balls or not is not for you to decide. I felt approach anxiety and I still pushed myself to take action. That's all that is important to me.

 

[Ever onward]

winner!

Loser!

Way to chime in on what someone else (Wiesman44) posted just because you don't have the courage to take action in the "real world" and to make you feel better about yourself, you shoot down guys who take risks, even laughable ones.

You didn't even have the originality to make up your own criticism, NICE!

 

[Ever onward]

He's right. That's like a car salesman "accidentily" slipping into a customer's path and then leaving a note by a car that the customer "accidentily happens to pass" and the note says "Psst, wanna buy this car? ~Ever Onward". You'd kick a salesman in the nuts if he did that to you instead of just dealing with you directly. It's no different for approaches.

Hey Metal, Thanks for the feedback bro. I didn't actually expect the approach to work. For me it was just trying to overcome the fear of rejection, the approach anxiety, and to have a "learning experience". Still stung like hell though cuz she was checking out the personals.

 

[Ever onward]

This is the type of attitude I'd like to see more around these forums. Less flaming and more friendly advice! We are DJ's learning from eachother, we should act accordingly! Hey, thanks for your input Guz200sx!

My thoughts exactly.

Having said that, I'm actually considering leaving this board.

Awhile back I realized that asking for advice on this board was useless because of the flaming. I thought that maybe I could at least get some support here from other guys trying to overcome some of the same issues. I only posted this thread because I guess I was looking for some support or approval for taking action. I realize now that I don't need approval from a bunch of guys on a message board. What I do need is to get away from the computer and actually practice what I've learned in THE REAL WORLD.

I want to give a big thanks to the guys who gave support and feedback: MetalFortress, TillTheEndOfTime, librito, iwant, Chosen1, realsmoothie, piterx, Guz200sx, NeonBase, and Wiesmann44, even though you called me a tard.

So I guess this is goodbye Sosuave, probably not forever. But the real world is calling and it's time to practice what I've learned from my time here. And I'm going to do so by keeping my own counsel and not seeking approval for my actions. Good luck to everybody still out there looking for answers!

*pushes self back away from keyboard and stands up*

 

[Ever onward]

mods delete this post

 

[OfficeSpace]

My thoughts exactly.

Having said that, I'm actually considering leaving this board.

Awhile back I realized that asking for advice on this board was useless because of the flaming. I thought that maybe I could at least get some support here from other guys trying to overcome some of the same issues. I only posted this thread because I guess I was looking for some support or approval for taking action. I realize now that I don't need approval from a bunch of guys on a message board. What I do need is to get away from the computer and actually practice what I've learned in THE REAL WORLD.

I want to give a big thanks to the guys who gave support and feedback: MetalFortress, TillTheEndOfTime, librito, iwant, Chosen1, realsmoothie, piterx, Guz200sx, NeonBase, and Wiesmann44, even though you called me a tard.

So I guess this is goodbye Sosuave, probably not forever. But the real world is calling and it's time to practice what I've learned from my time here. And I'm going to do so by keeping my own counsel and not seeking approval for my actions. Good luck to everybody still out there looking for answers!

*pushes self back away from keyboard and stands up*

Hey bro... Great decision! It's such a shame this board has turned into flame haven. I truly wish you the best! With a mindset that you now have, I'm sure that you are on your road to success with women!

Take care!

- Neon

 

[MVPlaya]

Okay, I was in a computer lab with a lab monitor in the LIBRARY. Kind of hard to speak. I guess I should have just sat there and typed on sosuave like all you ballsy guys.

I've had crazier approaches then that work before.

Look do me a favor, if you don't have the balls to approach anyone then don't sit around criticizing someone who does.

Don't be so defensive. That was a bad approach.

I'm glad you worked up the nerve to talk to her, but you made several mistakes:

1. The first thing you did was ask for her number. Its always best to talk to the person beforehand, build up chemistry (this doesn't necessarily mean seduce).

2. You sat there checking her out for a bit. Women notice when men check them out, especially because women are more subtle at checking men out while men are really ****ing blatant.

3. You wrote it on a note and just handed it to her. This is a DLV (Demonstrator of Low Value). An experienced person would say it, and frame it in a comfortable manner, you came across rather awkwardly doing that.

This doesn't really matter, since you'll never see this chick again, and even if you did, so what? But if you are working on improving your approach, do a few things:

1. Start with an opener, you can use the classic Jealous Girlfriend opener from Style, or create your own, there's really nothing special to this.

2. Avoid checking her out. Don't make it obvious that you are coming in to the conversation with strong feelings of attraction (whether physical or emotional).

3. When you try to number close, don't ask for her number, and don't bring 'dating' pressure with it either. Simply put it like, "you seem like a cool person, but I have to leave, why don't you leave me your number."


-MV

 

[MVPlaya]

Good attempt man. It might not have been the best attempt but at least you tried and was shot down like an American Jet Fighter over Japan.

Just an opinion, but maybe next time....I would try writing something like "Hi, Sssshhh, we are in the library. We MUST be quiet. My name is ____. Whats yours?" and then continue on with writing notes back and forth, if she accepts and eventually you will get that number.

This is bad advice. Avoid note passing. Just because its the library doesn't mean you can't talk, just talk at a lower volume, or approach her outside the library. Note passing is a bad medium for pickups.

 

[S1NN3R]

^^^ Unless you can find a way to make it funny, perhaps forming it like the eHarmony page she was looking at with vital stats and a goofy little bio or something. Could work, I've never tried it, but I can see it being amusing enough to perhaps get attention.

The big fcuk up here was not really the note passing, but just going straight for the number with no lead-in at all. That has a low probability of success no matter what medium you use.

Congrats for trying, I suppose, but next time, try something that might work instead of something that you yourself admittedly had no faith in. If we were scoring, I'd only give you half points for trying somthing you knew wouldn't work. I mean, damn, you've been on here for coming up on two years and you have 600 something posts, approach anxiety should have been long gone by now. You should be working on mega-advanced tactics at this point, not blundering through noobie material.

 

[realsmoothie]

Hey, everybody in here, and his dog, knows the guy screwed up in terms of technique. Even me, who is an idiot (though learning) at this point.

But to bag on him just for trying is really sad. I know this site is all over the alpha-male, masculinity schtick, but if we (er, you) start nailing every newbie to the cross, what's the point of having a bloody site? If you're really all about yourself - which appears to be the alpha-male credo - than I guess the point IS to knock everyone else down so you have a better shot.

Maybe it's "tough love"?

Flame me if you will, and it's easy when you have 1500 posts (maybe you should be having sex instead of posting all the time), but I say support instead of badger.

This is an interesting thread.