i got played

[dannyegg4575]

I think I finally figure it out. This whole time it was a phucking act in her part. And I got played like a little meat puppet.(where you have a hand stick up your ass and used as a pupper). I finally “get it”.

From the moment I broke up with her, I was feeling strange because it was just too quickly that she was able to say “I miss you” to the other guy. It was only two days after I broke up with her. At first, I’m like, “wtf… are you trying to make me jealous?”
No, she wasn’t! she really really missed the guy. It was all a game the last couple of months when she was treating me so well. She was already seeing the guy and I didn’t know it. The fact that she was treating me well was to use smoking mirrors to cloud my suspicions of any possibility of anything else going on behind the scene. While she wasn’t sure that she and the other guy would work out, she kept me hanging just in case it doesn’t. nice move…. Very very nice move…
I was stupid enough to go see her and want to reconcile our relationship! Though I thought it wasn’t begging, IT WAS BEGGING. And she probably laughing her ass off with her friend. I lost all self-respect driving to see her that night…

I haven’t spoken to her for a week… Good thing I used this time to try to figure this out. Guys… any tactic to help me out? Damn… I feel like **** right now. AFC

 

[GrandMaster]

breakups are always hard.
this mindset has helped me alot:

if you're not going to be with her anymore, you can enjoy all the beautiful women around and don't have to feel like you're cheating. just look around. there's so many. and when you start going out again, build your social circle, meet and makeout with chicks, you'll very quickly be very thankful to your ex to have broken up with her. two girls broke up with me and both times after a certain time I realized how much better off I was without them. trust me.

just don't talk to her anymore (for like 2 months at least) and you'll be over her.

after two weeks, all her pheromones are out of your system and chemically you're not bound to her anymore. so just wait another week. you'll be fine.

 

[dannyegg4575]

thx grandmaster... I have so much depression right now and it's not helping me with building up the anger to move on. I need to get angry but I'm suppressing it. getting angry actually helps me move on quicker... but I'm not doing it... I'm finding a million and one reasons to say good things about her. I DON"T GET IT...

 

[Cretin]

Make sure you exercise hard during this phase as well.....very good for the mind.....no joke.

 

[dannyegg4575]

I can't get out of this tailspin!!! I know i'm being played,... so why do i still keep peeking around on her msn and wanting to find out what she's up to and ****? why??? why???

I know that a lot of people have this experience before. tell me what i need to do so i can get back my self respect? I did a lot of damage... too much damage in seeking validation. sigh...

You can totally sense it when you are doing that...

 

[I.A.F.Y.B.]

You know... I was in a similar situation last week. This is a long fvcking story but, my girlfriend went over to some guys house and lied to me about it for like a week. She was giving me signs and I knew she went over to that guys house! One of the signs is pleasure... Like the OP was saying.

If your girl starts acting more pleasurable to you or wanting sex more than usuall. It's a sign that she is guilty of something. Always watch your back when your girl starts doing things out of the ordinary. Cause when my b!tch started acting up I knew what was going on from the gitty. It just took some time to get her to admitt it. But, she didn't have to, I already knew!

Anyways. You live and learn man. Sometimes you learn things the hard way. Just go out there and start mackn on all the new girls!

 

[slaog]

You have oneitis. You've built her up too much. Start looking at other women and you'll see shes nothing special.

 

[KontrollerX]

The brothers have given you some good advice Danny.

I'd like to re-iterate the exercise advice.

When someone says to exercise in times like these it can seem like its just a bullsh!t statement and made to help you get your mind off the girl but really the exercise advice is valid because in troubling times like this your body gets loaded with the stress chemical cortisol and exercise like some intense cardio work or even moderate cardio work really helps to alleviate the cortisol levels and thus reduces your depression, stress levels, anger and even makes you sleep better.

 

[penkitten]

often in life we make mistakes, and no one goes without making them.
mistakes teach us life's lessons.
instead of feeling like a failure when you feel you made a mistake and someone got something over on you, keep in mind that you are the greatest student, and that you will take knowledge from it.

try to turn it into something positive and move on as quickly as possible.

 

[dannyegg4575]

I've been working out for the last 3 weeks. But i'm still playing bs games with myself.
The truth is, fooled me once, shame on you, fooled me twice, shame on me. But this is the third time that this happened. I went and asked for a reconciliation. how stupid is that? That's why i'm beating myself up now... I feel like an ass...

Last week, I contacted her again and this is what I wrote to her.

In the past, I wouldn't normally care what happens to people that I broke up with. But seeing that you've always been there for me in the past, with your encouragements, your support, I am writing to you now as a friend in hope that you will be able to understand.

Follow your heart ***. Only you can determine what is best for you and what happiness is. If "***" is someone you really love, then go for it and pursue him for your happiness. At the end of the day, it is your happiness that matters.

Go out and enjoy life, and party it up. You only live once. i do not want to see a good friend going through life like this. You have an opportunity to be who you want to be.

During our time together, I have never asked you for anything. And so, this is the only thing I will ever ask of you. From now on, go out and enjoy yourself. Enjoy life and what it has to offer you. There is so much in this world for you to experience. Learn, grow and be the best that you can be. You have the potential in you *****. I know it. I believe in you. Please don't waste it.

she must be laughing so hard inside from this because I was still being so damn nice!!!

 

[NoMoreTapDancing]

You should feel like an ass. But only because you brought this upon yourself. What you ought to have done is, as soon as you realised something wasn't right here - pick up the phone or tell her to her face "Listen now, something just isn't right here. You're being overly nice to me and something just smells damn fishy to me. So I'm giving you 45 minutes (or a suitable period of time of your choice, as long as it sounds cool) to get your sh1t right and explain to me whats going on here, or you delete my number right here and now and don't contact me again, you understand?" then you put the phone down, or something like that.

 

[Mr. Me]

Danny, go the NO CONTACT route. Completely. Any contact with the ex will impede your healing time.

When thoughts of her pop into your head, this is normal. But you don't have to dwell on them and let them fester. This is a battle that is fought in your head. Think of other things.

Fill up your life now with things to do. Interests to pursue, both old ones and find some new ones. Hit the gym often. Play sports. Stay busy. When you're busy with other things, it keeps your thoughts from wandering back to the ex, and also, shrinks her part in your life.

Use your anger to fuel your resolve to move forward.

Don't beat yourself up. We all make mistakes. Just don't repeat the mistakes.

 

[dannyegg4575]

Thanks guys... I guess what I'm trying to work on right now is how this all happened. I was being such a challenge the whole time and I screwed it up big. I guess because I stopped being cool. I thought I was cool but I am just another idiot trying to get validation. Girls do that kind of stuff and I don't realize it but real guys don't do that kind of stuff.

I guess what I really have to ingrain in my head is to stop being so stupid. I keep tripping over and over and over again and I don't even realize it.

Sometimes, it's best to just vent out in this website and just remain calm and cool than to rely on friends you do know and hope that they can help you out. Fact is, they can't help you out but to make things worst by bringing up the topic and spreading words about the whole situation making matters worst. It's my fault... I screwed this one up big.

Live and learn... have to learn to shut the hell up next time but never do...

 

[mb121]

What specifically did you do to **** it up?

Stop being a challenge? Show insecurity? what?

I'm curious for future reference.

 

[dannyegg4575]

well, for one thing, stop listening to your friends' advice and don't contact her. that's all you can do. Let her go. Don't even give her a reason to think you're not worthy of coming back to. she made the choice... be happy for her and let her go. forget about it and next without a word.
that's all you have to do in a nutshell.

 

[dannyegg4575]

Why do i continue to have these negative thoughts creeping in, I do not know. What is going on with me lately? I'm becoming like a teenager again. Acting stupid and insecure like a little child that needs mom to make things better.

A lot of stuff is going through my head guys. I really need help to figure this out. Only about a month ago, she was able to tell me that she is scared and that she is loving me more and more everyday and don't know what to do, a week before that, she pushed me to get married... only to move on so quickly a week afterwards without a trace of remorse.

This is beating me up emotionally because i'm such a guy that rationalize things. And I'm not getting any answer. Girls do that don't they? they just keep you hanging and they don't tell you what's in their head.

I know, it's easy to say move on... but how do you move on when you have so many questions around you? I haven't contacted this girl for a few weeks now... Doesn't look like she's going to come around. Interest levels must have dropped to a point of no return.