I Give Up

[PVSSY-EATER]

Okay guys, let me break my entire situation down so that you guys can understand what I am saying. I have no problem getting girls numbers. Usually, when I get them, I make them laugh and its really straight to the point, where I will say, what s yo name, write yo number down so I can hit you up. And thats it! 7 out of 10 times, this always works. But, and gentlemen, I am not lying when I say, every fvcking girl flakes out on me on the telephone. Heres what I would say on the phone:

Me: What up...this Nykky? (In my ****y and funny voice)
Her: Yeah...who is this?
Me: Who is this? (its like I am asking her like how dare you ask me who this is....but in a joking tone) A look....is this that girl I was dancing wit in the club Saturday.
Her: Yeah.
Me: A look....I am about to roll out to(wherever...usually I will say to get something to drink, smoke, or most times I will say to the bowling alley)...roll wit me.
Her: (Makes some dumb azz excuse)
Me: (Usually I will laugh it off then offer tomorrow....and she will give me another excuse...then I would just hang up)

My question is....is my tone the problem? Should I be more serious instead of ****y and funny...or what is it? I know this is a numbers game, but guys listen, I would stack up on numbers. For example, I might go out to the club one night and come home wit 10 phone numbers, and they all flake out on me. Now listen to this, I have these girls calling me now, that I met online, but they have never seen me yet, but every girl says I sound really sexy on the phone. My best bet, is that if these two girls would see me or something, they would not call me often anymore...because I had situations like this in the past...where the girl liked me up until she seen me. I dont dress all high fashion. I am black, so I will wear a white t shirt, timberlands, some black jeans, and thats it. I always smell nice and my clothes looks fresh. If ANYBODY can tell me what the hell has been going on in my life for the last 21 years, I would highly thank you for it.

 

[PVSSY-EATER]

oh yeah...I would usually wait about one week sometimes to call, usually because I am busy, and another reason is that I dont want to get shot down yet......I dont sound nervous or anything....somebody....please say something

 

[Disconnect]

Usually it's a matter of interest level, but numbers don't lie. You said you go to clubs to get numbers. Now, I'm not sure, but seems like all the hb's meet plenty of people when they go clubbing. Just like you get 10 numbers, they may give out theirs 10 times, or more. And they will flake on most men, selecting the one that made the best impression.

You also mentioned that you are black. Don't lots of white chicks have this interracial hangup of some sort? Try more black women for a change.

And sure, try different tactics. See what works. Be a bit more serious for a change, or more C&F, or more mysterious. You gotta get em to want you. Then they don't flake, let alone remember your name.

PS: A week is a long time. Long enough for someone ELSE who they met at that club same night to get a hold of them. Feel me?

 

[tmpgstx]

Well .. judging from your post, it seems you're asking them to do something with you exclusively, though you barely know them at all.

In short, they don't feel comfortable, you have to work up to that. Guys in female circles have a much easier time with this, because said girl(s) already know them and have friends that vouch for the character (even if the character does suck, but depends on what type of click they're in).

 

[wind20mph]

Well i got several time on that situation when meeting and asking them out later. it s*** right? Really it did. So What I learned from DJ Bible, and observing guys taking out, talking, and couple conversations, I tried this one but I'm not certain its 100% working for you because we have diffirent places. But its up to you to try it. After asking the Names and digits, I always look for an opportunity to ask her out. observe what she likes, catch some details where you can use later. So when making phone call, make it short, specific. do not spend time chatting on the phone, (you wanted to take her out right?) so go ask her out, uless you wanted her to be your phone buddy. First objective, I made her laugh, even not hysterically its alright. then I dont ask, I say "let's go to (place) at (time) to continue this conversation, am busy right now. Meet you then..." if she is not interested, shell call back. Show your spine. I always hit it. But it might be different in your place, but you can try. Then you can find out whats work for you.

 

[PVSSY-EATER]

Thanks for the replies guys, but what you guys do not understand is this.....I am acting totally Don Juan in front of these girls. I AM THE LIFE OF THE WHOLE PARTY. I am ****y and funny as hell, and the girls show interest levels off the fvcking map! But somethings happens between the time I leave and the time I call. Sometimes I wait a week, other times I wait two days, but never the same day or next day. I always deal with black girls, because honestly, and I am not racist at all, but white girls do not even give me the time of day, and I am not trying to get caught up in some sexual harassment shyt that they pull. If you guys have any insight on this, please tell me.

 

[Fed X-Man]

He's right...you gotta be more serious man. There are those rare ditzy chicks that get off on comedians, but they are like blue moon deals.

What worked for me....give it a day or two....damn sure not a week....too many other afc's out there and then when you talk to them just BS with em' and do not GET SERIOUS about anything. Let em' know it was cool to meet em' and maybe you'll see em at the club again next weekend.

See em at the club BS with em'...nothin' serious...give em attention, but not too much. Get a drink, hang out with some of your boys...maybe dance wit another chick and then blow her off and comeback to the one you want. Lay on some more BS for awhile talk about her more than you.

Works like a charm....cause then everything else will just play itself out.

 

[PVSSY-EATER]

Okay I got you man. But explain more on the BS part. I thought the point was to fvck her some time, it seems like when I do the whole playin hard to get thing, it doesnt work for me. Man...I am really getting tired of bytches man. See...what you dont understand is this...if you would see the way I act around girls you would say....yeah....he is a don juan. But...the problem is...I have no girls...Some don juan.

 

[Fed X-Man]

That's my point....you gotta' slow your roll on the sex part. Chicks aren't stupid and they know what we want, but they like to make us work for it....those are the good ones anyways.

You have to adjust your game to the type of chick your after, but if you want some action that night you can follow the ho-bag around that's drunk and hangin' on every DJ in the place.

Once you get that first one from doing it that way it's like word of mouth advertising for you man. That will open the door for you to the ones who like to play those hard to get mind games.

BS'n is the easy part....talk to her and just show some interest and then throw things in about yourself here and there, but talk about them and act like you really care. You have to make them believe you are really interested in what they are telling you. Bottom line....try not to be too DJish, don't make it all about you and act like you don't care about what will happen later on in the night or eager to get their digits too.

 

[-HPNOTIQ-]

Bro...women do this..its a numbers game..women flake a lot..especially in the clubs for whatever reason she gives you the number - whether she's too nice to say no, whether she felt pressured, whether she REALLY wanted to go out with you but already has a bf - regardless the reason...dont sweat your game.

You're more DJ than you feel. Look positive first. I'll bet half the guys who dispense this advice couldn't even ATTEMPT a number close on a woman..and here you are with 10 digits out of a club. Did all them flake? Sure...but the point here is to look at the positive. Eventually, one of this women, if not more, will come around.

So how do you make em come around?

From what you are saying, I'd keep with the C/F approach, because obviously it is working for you.

The only thing I see wrong with your game right now is when you ask for the date.

#1 - When you are asking for the date, you are too vague - lets role out somewhere, catch a flick, eat dinner...are you down?

That's a horrible sales pitch. Where's the C/F guy she first met at the club. Gotta give the chick an offer she can't refuse. Example: Aye chick. This is Hpnotiq. I met you at Club Big Nuts. Yea...yada yada..fluff talk. Hey, my buddy is a promoter at this dope new lounge downtown. This Friday is going to be hot. How bout you wear something real nice..you know gucci, prada...I'll swing by your pad at 8..we'll grab some drinks/and dinner round 9 and hit the loung round 11...and tell your girls to meet us at the lounge round 1130...I'll intro them to my fellas. And dont worry, I'll get them on the VIP list.

How can a chick say no to that?

#2 - Don't ask for the date....assume it. Its like any good salesman. In his mind, he isn't wishing these people would by this car. He is already figuring how he will convince these people how to include the CD player and extended warrenty.

My point? Assume the sale and give her an offer she can't refuse.

 

[MacDiddy]

ok: you sounded like a punk!!! I didn't detect any C&F in your phone call to that chick at all!!! Maybe you're just keeping this hot material to yourself...

I think its difficult to diagnose your problem becoz firstly I haven't a clue what a C&F voice is... C&F occurs with what you say coupled with how you say it.... Generally its funny material which conveys a bit of arrogance that couldn't be true said in a serious way or with a mild smirk... Flirtiness is okay too, but calibrate...

Her: why don't you give me your no:
You: Can't do that, You won't stop calling me...

Now this is ****y because you assume she's gonna be all over you.. She'll find this funny cause its soooo not true... Now, if you said that in a serious manner and you did in fact fear that she was going to call you many times, she will find that hilarious You'll get her laughing and feeling wonderfully warm & fuzzy
Now if that was said in a jokey way, (aha aha) the ****iness is not as emphasized.. and the funny just won't roll...

her: ha ha ha you're so arrogant...
you: thats not a nice thing to say to a guy that about to have an operation
her: oh... (serious tone now) what are you having done?
you: I'm having my penis reduced...

 

[sfalexi]

I'd say two things. First, like they said above, the second meeting should be more casual and in a social place. Instead of "roll with me", I'd say something like, "And I expect you to be there" or "I'm probably gonna go to _____ this friday. I think you should meet me there so you can buy me a beer."

And while you're there, set up an actual date in person, not over the phone. People in general (a little psych study here), are less likely to turn down requests in person than if you asked them over the phone, or even worse, IM or email.

Alexi

 

[stalluproar]

Originally posted by PVSSY-EATER
oh yeah...I would usually wait about one week sometimes to call, usually because I am busy, and another reason is that I dont want to get shot down yet......I dont sound nervous or anything....somebody....please say something

You can still be busy and call her in a day or two. When you call her, tell her you just have a moment and you are busy for a couple days after, but you are going to x place, you should join me. If she resists or sounds like she isn't sure, ask her on a scale of 1-10, what are the chances of her calling last minute and cancelling or not showing up. Anything other than a 10 or I will definately be there, tell her you aren't interested an to call you when she is available.

 

[diablo]

Originally posted by PVSSY-EATER
If ANYBODY can tell me what the hell has been going on in my life for the last 21 years, I would highly thank you for it.

Well, if it still includes going to the bowling alley on a regular basis, you might want to find some different places to go. Your city might be different than mine, but around here the only people that go to places like that are ones too young to get into anywhere else (13-17 yrs old).

Originally posted by PVSSY-EATER
I am black, so I will wear a white t shirt,...

I slang in my white tee
I bang in my white tee
All in the club spitting game in my white tee
I bling in my white tee serve,
feigns in my white tee
**** a throwback I look clean in my white tee

Sorry.. couldn't help it.

 

[PVSSY-EATER]

A yo, good looking out yall on the replies. I understand now. But I got one more question, when my boy above says that the next time I call her should be for them to meet me somewhere with my boys or something, the problem is, I dont have many boys. And when they wanna go out, its usually rare. This has been another mystery in my life, I am a cool person but I dont understand why I dont have many cool friends. I mean, is it just God or life in general, because I dont see what the hell I m doing wrong. I like to sometimes act a little stupid and joke around, but I dont think its that bad. Example, one of my closest friends of 10 years, everytime he gets a girlfriend, he acts as if he doesnt know me or what to hang around me anymore. Just yesterday he even called the police when I showed up at his job to chill with him. And he wont get in any trouble if I chill up there either, so that is not an excuse. Can somebody please tell me, is it me or people in general as to why I dont have many friends. Its hard for me to meet girls and their friends places, when I m all alone. I even go to these clubs alone, but nobody can tell because I usually stay on the dance floor.

 

[BigWillyStyle]

one of my closest friends of 10 years, everytime he gets a girlfriend, he acts as if he doesnt know me or what to hang around me anymore. Just yesterday he even called the police when I showed up at his job to chill with him

Nice "friend" He doesn't sound like he's "close" to you if he did that...

I got it from a few "friends" too occasionally, when they get a chick, suddenly they can't hang with you on weekends anymore, go out drinking, the beach etc etc Until they break up with their girls, then they're all up for doing stuff again. Sorry tired not right now, someone else could shed some more light on this for ya.

But callin the cops up when you just wanna hang with him? Damn!

 

[Dust 2 Dust]

You need to change your approach.

If a girl doesn't remember your name then you're already dead in the water.

I don't advice asking girls for spur of the moment dates until you've had time to get to know them very well. Instead try setting something up 2-3 days in advance preferably on a weekday. This may help increase your odds.