I get the feeling my girlfriend isnt really into me/likes someone else

[Yes man]

Dating 3~ months, her attraction for me seems good.

She initiates contact/kissing, is all over me, no problems with sex, etc.

Basically i get the feeling that i have her interest and attraction in me high due to good game and DJing, but i dont know if its a 'true' attraction. Is there such thing? It feels a bit cold and i dont know wether she truly is into me.

I think she is attracted to preppy guys normally, which i am not. No big deal, its a small issue with style/clothing etc. i could easily overlook this. But one friend of mine in particular i think she was interested in aswell as me before we started dating, i feel weird about. I get the gut instinct that she likes him. He is more of the 'preppy' style, and at times sometimes comments and small things raise questions in my mind. She mentions him at times in conversation, not often, but the times it does happen it stick in my head.

Should i confront or raise anything about this. I realize this is slightly insecure but the coldness and weirdness and being paranoid that she isnt really into me or is into my friend is pissing me off. I know i could be in a relationship where it felt more right.

Am i being paranoid and insecure or is it right to be concerned? Anyone experienced this feeling?

 

[Cashew]

Yes, you are being paranoid and insecure. When you get this feeling, just let it go. It is not a big deal at all. Be glad she doesn't hate your friends, because then you'd have to get rid of her.

 

[HoneyHitter]

Yes, you are being paranoid and insecure. When you get this feeling, just let it go. It is not a big deal at all. Be glad she doesn't hate your friends, because then you'd have to get rid of her.

Agreed. You should definitely not let it shake you.
But I need to add something REALLY important to that:

Never doubt, when your gut tells you she's interested in him.
You can bet she IS. However, this situation can be diffused and probably could have been prevented if she KNEW you had other options.

I have been in this situation and tried to play the "indifferent" card. It didn't work.

It didn't work because I was too available. I learned that being "unavailable" doesn't mean meeting her once a week.
Being unavailable means you should say NO to her invites every now and then. Meet with other (new) women occasionally. Let the booty-call pass sometimes. Be at the same party without being all over her all the time. Let her see how you flow with other females and have fun with the fellows. Make her work for your affection sometimes. Don't be try-hard, but keep your social life active while seeing her. Balance social and personal time.

I lost the girl to the other guy. And to be honest, he deserved her more than me. When we first met I was a challenge for her, but I unfortunately gave her too much security and became less of a challenge. For a girl, a new attractive guy is always a challenge. A chance to get that external validation she yearns for.

I hope this helps you out a bit.

 

[cola]

Basically i get the feeling that i have her interest and attraction in me high due to good game and DJing, but i dont know if its a 'true' attraction. Is there such thing? It feels a bit cold and i dont know wether she truly is into me.

Attraction is nothing more than chemicals in her brain telling her that hes either a owner of good genes, or a good provider, thus it makes her cooch get wet. That's the end all be all of attraction.

Weather she is truly into you? Simple, did you fvck her?

In closing, stop investing you feelings so deeply into females.. You really shouldn't give a damn weather she fvcks your friend today or tomorrow, as long as you got to bust a nut its of no matter..

 

[Yes man]

Yes helpful thank you!

i agree that it is insecure, i can feel it myself, reeks of AFC. But you were spot on with the 'gut instinct', thats what it is and sadly i know its correct. She has/had a crush on the guy.

And the problem is that im definitly not up for having any less than 100% her attention and im not being second choice to another guy. Id have no problem if this was a fck buddy relationship, but i cant be very close or couply with this girl even tho i quite want to because of doubts of her actual interest.

In closing, stop investing you feelings so deeply into females.. You really shouldn't give a damn weather she fvcks your friend today or tomorrow, as long as you got to bust a nut its of no matter..

thing is id prefer a closed relationship and 1 leading female companion. Spinning plates would solve the silly problems in my head but i know i can have good relationship that would satisfy with another girl if not this one, so i dont want to stay in a situation where i have doubts or fulfillment.

Sometimes writing this stuff puts into perspective what i want myself lol.

 

[cola]

thing is id prefer a closed relationship and 1 leading female companion. Spinning plates would solve the silly problems in my head but i know i can have good relationship that would satisfy with another girl if not this one, so i dont want to stay in a situation where i have doubts or fulfillment.

Sometimes writing this stuff puts into perspective what i want myself lol.

Indeed, but If you keep seeking these singular relationships you are in store for a very rude awakening into the true nature of females. There very unstable creatures, emotional, irrational by default and genuinely annoying.

Your going to run into problems such as these quite frequently in your conquest to find the ever elusive "one"..
I'm not going to sit here and try to ravish your reality, you'll find out what I say is true, and you'll be back writing another sad thread about your heart being broke..
And then spinning "plates" <-- Cliche/Gay Term -- which really means talking to more than one woman at a time ..will seem like a revelation, when you were told before to do so.

 

[Recon]

And then spinning "plates" <-- Cliche/Gay Term

I didn't know plates had a sexual orientation. Thanks for enlightening me. :yes:

 

[thecurtainfalls]

Indeed, but If you keep seeking these singular relationships you are in store for a very rude awakening into the true nature of females. There very unstable creatures, emotional, irrational by default and genuinely annoying.

Your going to run into problems such as these quite frequently in your conquest to find the ever elusive "one"..
I'm not going to sit here and try to ravish your reality, you'll find out what I say is true, and you'll be back writing another sad thread about your heart being broke..
And then spinning "plates" <-- Cliche/Gay Term -- which really means talking to more than one woman at a time ..will seem like a revelation, when you were told before to do so.

cola, there's a lot that rings true in what you're saying, but there's a lot that comes off as reactionary and partially naieve as well. No offense intended, but at 20 years old do you really think you are the great determiner of whether this one individual can ever find someone who he would be happy with long-term?

I'm not denying the fact that anyone who's been around the block realizes that the ideal image they have in their mind of the perfect mate/life doesn't really exist, and that even someone who you had a passionate, reciprocal love for could end up being the target of your absolute disdain.

Sure, in fact I'm willing to admit that maybe even the majority of girls will turn out to be annoying, impulsive, etc; but you're trying to re-package your opinions and worldview (which work just fine for you) on someone that doesn't agree. There is a middle ground, I believe.

 

[Yes man]

cola speaks wise.

You cant be happy in a relationship with anyone if you arent happy with yourself. If your inner game is good then its easy to be happy. The ONE wont make you happy if you have weak inner game. After my ex, i stopped believing in the ONE anyway, iv already had somewhat of a revelation. I think it needs to be beat into me some more tho, i have more to learn.

I think this might be an inner game problem on my behalf. The problem of my girlfriend having a crush on my friend is annoying but im gona let myself be completely indifferent and not give a ****. Il try and lay down the law when i get a chance or she makes another comment about it though, i feel like telling her she can very easily **** off if she ever would like to!

Its insecurity, but honestly i dont feel like being made to feel inadequate when im not.