OK dude i will take for what ur saying has true. From looks of it u r just a like emotional punch bag like some other guy said.
If u do decide to change ur mind again and b with her i am pretty sure she will leave ur ass after another 5 months and **** another man in the first week. Get dumped and come back to good old second best jean, Punch all her emotions out on u again feel better and then **** the next DJ that comes round the corner. The cycle continues. Just think of it like this for everytime ur gf leaves u, one of us guys in this forum bangs her and just tosses her back to u with a "thanks", because thats the sheer reality of it.
So far u lost 5 months of ur life with this chick so don't repeat it. So yes well done on deciding to change, but just make sure not to look back. I know sometimes it can b hard, but don't let this girl blind u. U can not force someone to love u who does not want to so don't waste ur time and spend it on women who have got there **** together and actually want to b with u and putting u has first choice rather than sloppy seconds.
Dj bible link is here
Read the nice guy vs jerk stuff, because yes u r a nice guy, which is a good thing, but u need to become a good guy who has the qualities of a nice guy, but if **** likes this happens he is not going to talk a chicks relationship problems over with her so she can just **** some other dude and come back on ur shoulder crying again.
Also read pooks 10 lessons i think that will cover most things, i will also give this a read tonight seeing i need to brush up on a few things.
All the best man.