I get farther with women when I'm nice

[Bokanovsky]

Which forum is that ?

Probably loveshack...

 

[GreatHornedOwl]

Then reply with substance and point it out, otherwise wtf are we doing?

'getting far' could mean anything, that's what I found vague. Also we know nothing about how cucked your friends are in these relationships, or what kind of guys they are or where they're getting women.

What does it matter how "cucked" these guys are? The point is, they are in relationships with these women. You can speculate all you want to make yourself feel better, it's not going to change anything. You're throwing out all these random scenarios that are completely off base, because you don't know these guys, or the women they're dating. I do. That's the difference.

 

[EyeOnThePrize]

What does it matter how "cucked" these guys are? The point is, they are in relationships with these women. You can speculate all you want to make yourself feel better, it's not going to change anything. You're throwing out all these random scenarios that are completely off base, because you don't know these guys, or the women they're dating. I do. That's the difference.

That's why I'm asking for details, what's the demographic? How many girls do you think they've met or slept with before committing? At 30, I'm not crazy about a relationship when there are more women in the world than seconds in my lifetime. One woman for life or multiple years seems like an insane option at this age.

Think pragmatically, what do your friends gain by being in a relationship with one woman? What do any of us gain? Unless she has valuable family influence what is the point? When you're ready for a family, compromise and settle, but until then it's in your best interest to meet as many women as possible. The world has many treasures, women and experiences beyond your wildest dreams.

That's my opinion, and I respect people that commit younger than myself and already have kids, it's your personal choice; but there's definitely a lot of pressure on men to commit out of insecurity into a codependent union, rather than an interdependent one. A toxic relationship can kill you slowly, this forum is riddled with threads as a testament to that. It pays to be picky. If it turns out well for them that's great, it's simply not worth it for me until I'm in my 40s.

Anyway, my point is you might not seem 'nice' when you're really just being pragmatic.

 

[Glassguy]

The proper word is kind. Women like kind men. Kind and nice are not synonymous

This. You can be kind. You can be mannerly. Chivalrous.
You can't be a doormat or a pushover.

Do what benefits YOU.

 

[GreatHornedOwl]

That's why I'm asking for details, what's the demographic? How many girls do you think they've met or slept with before committing? At 30, I'm not crazy about a relationship when there are more women in the world than seconds in my lifetime. One woman for life or multiple years seems like an insane option at this age.

Think pragmatically, what do your friends gain by being in a relationship with one woman? What do any of us gain? Unless she has valuable family influence what is the point? When you're ready for a family, compromise and settle, but until then it's in your best interest to meet as many women as possible. The world has many treasures, women and experiences beyond your wildest dreams.

That's my opinion, and I respect people that commit younger than myself and already have kids, it's your personal choice; but there's definitely a lot of pressure on men to commit out of insecurity into a codependent union, rather than an interdependent one. A toxic relationship can kill you slowly, this forum is riddled with threads as a testament to that. It pays to be picky. If it turns out well for them that's great, it's simply not worth it for me until I'm in my 40s.

Anyway, my point is you might not seem 'nice' when you're really just being pragmatic.

What do they gain? I don't know, I've never asked them. I'm just telling you I have personally seen them interact with women as they are close friends of mine, and their mentality is not from this forum.

 

[handle]

You just aren’t supposed to be a doormat. That’s the important thing. It’s not hard to see why: people who are fun to be around typically have a point of view, have interests, have preferences, and they aren’t afraid to express them.

It you have that part figured out and you are meeting girls, then you have graduated from online girl advice.

 

[DisposableBenchmark]

Reminds me of a friend of mine who considers himself a "nice guy". He is, it's just that he's oblivious to the selfish behaviours he does with people. He's just totally not conscious of it. So from his point of view he's a perfect gentleman. And always acts reasonably and with beautiful equity and care, but really he's very dominant and self-centred.

Not saying OP is like that, but it could be a possibility.