I gave her my number.....

[Bobby]

I was working at shop recently (my company has the maintenance contract) when I met this girl who works at the main desk. I was there for over a week, and during that time she was very helpful in allowing me to do my job (opening locked doors etc.). I found her really attractive, she has a great personality and when her boss (and mine) wasn't there we talked and talked untill customers needed serving. She really opens up to me when were alone (eg. she drops the politeness she has for the public). We share the same world views and interests like we support the same football team etc.

But when the job came to an end, we said our goodbuys (her work mate was next to her) and I left. It hurt me so much knowing that I might not see her again and I wanted to ask her out.

I then went back a week later with a report on the work (excellent excuse I thought!) to hand to her boss. Again we talked, mostly she was *****ing about her strict boss and then all of a sudden I said "why don't we meet up sometime?" - all the colour drained from her face, then I quickly said "I'll leave you my number" she then started kinda laughing and then insisted that she would fetch a pen and paper.

So I wrote the number down, and she said "I'll be in touch". But that was two weeks ago!! And its driving me crazy her not phoning!! Even if out of nerves if I missed out a digit, she could easily get it from the caretaker of the building.

Sorry for the long thread, but I haven't a clue what to do now, I don't wan't to go back there, if I did, what would I say??

Please help.

 

[mrExtreme]

all the colour drained from her face

That doesn't sound like a good sign to me. Unfortunately, it sounds like she isn't interested in you or else she would have called you by now. Next time you're interested in a woman make sure that you get her # instead of you giving your # to her. Since you gave her your number you put the ball in her court. The woman is the one who should be awaiting your call. You should not be the one waiting for her to call. NEXT her and move on to another woman after you've read the DJ Bible.

 

[JJMcLure]

Chicks don't call in the early stages (generally).

As the MAN, you have to be the one to initiate. That means the approach, number close, phone call, first date location etc and beyond.

From what you said it seemed she wasn't keen (color drained from her face!?)

In future get the chick's number or exchange numbers. Then YOU make the call. You can then avoid the feeling of anticipation you described. Avoiding that feeling is also a great reason not to use e-mail to ask a chick out - you can be left waiting for a non-existant reply.

If she doesn't want to give it you or makes an excuse then at least you know where you stand there and then. Don't fear rejection.

 

[PuertoRican_Lover]

I know what u r thinking - don't go back there!!!

 

[DJ_Dork]

lame dude, here's a golf clap for your effort

 

[SDBmania]

Ack!!!!!

Too bad man. Although I do believe that, in the future the dating game will change and more and more women will become the hunter, I would still rather prefer to be the one to get the number. I would love it if more and more women became assertive. I would like it if women asked out guys about equally as guys ask our girls. Unfortunetly, this doesn't seem to be the case, as our roles have not changed drastically. That being said, I do prefer to get the number myself, because I don't have to wait around for her to call me(as in your case). This seems to be an advantage for guys, we get to call her, so it is easier for us to find out if there is interest on her part. I hate waiting around in this kind of situation not sure of what to expect.

Next time, you go for the number. I know it's hard, but once you get comfortable it is easy. If it doesn't seem like she wants to give it to you or you start to panic, then pull away. Just act like she has a short window of opportunity and see if she bites. I'd say that you need to touch up on your confidence. It's ok for you to get her number, but like someone else said, you should only do that in a swap. It's ok. Just make sure that the next time you are talking to a girl and you want to act, get her number.

 

[ali_g]

I then went back a week later with a report on the work (excellent excuse I thought!) to hand to her boss. Again we talked, mostly she was *****ing about her strict boss and then all of a sudden I said "why don't we meet up sometime?" - all the colour drained from her face, then I quickly said "I'll leave you my number" she then started kinda laughing and then insisted that she would fetch a pen and paper.

Always ask for her #. Don't mention anything about maybe meeting up sometime, simply say what's your number? Just fire those words like a rocket when you meet someone you're interested in.

 

[Bobby]

Thanks guys for your views,

I know I should have fired the "whats your number?" words out like a rocket, but they kind of got chopped up in my degree of shyness.

I'm on stage though, so I should have the confidence, I do on stage anyway.

So what do or can I do now? Wait a few weeks? Is that best? I can't stop thinking about her, If only I knew for definate, I could live with that and move on!

What approach do I make? It sucks that she hasn't even called me as a friend.

If I had to go back to the shop, do I just forget that I gave her my number or try again........? What should I say if she's there?

 

[mrExtreme]

So what do or can I do now? Wait a few weeks? Is that best? I can't stop thinking about her, If only I knew for definate, I could live with that and move on!

Right now you should be under the assumption that she has no interest in you and move on. If she does call you, which I believe is unlikely to happen, then you can take her out.

What approach do I make? It sucks that she hasn't even called me as a friend.

Don't approach her intentionally anymore. Don't go back to the store with the purpose to confront her about not calling you. Do you honestly want to be friends with this girl? I know the reason you gave her your number wasn't so that you two could be friends.

If I had to go back to the shop, do I just forget that I gave her my number or try again........? What should I say if she's there?

If you have to go back to the shop don't try again. If she's there just acknowledge her and act pleasant. Don't ask for her number and don't ask her why she didn't call you.

 

[ChesterB]

Originally posted by ali_g
Always ask for her #. Don't mention anything about maybe meeting up sometime, simply say what's your number? Just fire those words like a rocket when you meet someone you're interested in.

Are you sure it's better? I always say something like "Hey, let's have a cup of coffee sometime." and if she agrees I ask for the number. Seems a bit strange for me to just ask for the number.
Just my thougts. I think both works equally well.

 

[SDBmania]

Originally posted by Bobby
Thanks guys for your views,

I know I should have fired the "whats your number?" words out like a rocket, but they kind of got chopped up in my degree of shyness.

I'm on stage though, so I should have the confidence, I do on stage anyway.

You have the confidence, it is within you. I know there are some good articles about how to build confidence. It will differ depending on you, but check out the DJ Bible if you haven't yet.

 

[MrNiceGuy]

one tip I'd give that no one has mentioned yet is to make moves sooner rather than later, this has two (maybe three) advantages,

firstly, prevents her mentally putting you in the friendzone.. and instead lands you in the possible bf zone.. plus it displays confidence

secondly, if she rejects you, you won't be too bothered because you've not had time to develop any strong feelings for her..

third (some may not see this as an advantage necessarily) she won't think you asking her out is a particularly big deal, so if she was at least interested in being friends you wouldn't have put her off..

the second advantage is best though, last couple of numbers I got they flaked on me, but as I didn't really know them I didn't care too much, this has increased my confidence to get numbers and make moves cos I realise it doesn't matter or hurt me if they say no..

 

[MrNiceGuy]

ahh sorry, double post.. my internet sucks..

 

[Bobby]

thanks again guys for your thoughts,

If I was to make a moove sooner rather than later, I would need to think of some brilliant excuse to visit the shop again,.......or would I? Would that be seen as confidence, ie. using my own initiative?

I must admit, the sooner I fix this the sooner I can get on with other things!

 

[Mr.Fortesque]

Originally posted by Bobby
thanks again guys for your thoughts,

If I was to make a moove sooner rather than later, I would need to think of some brilliant excuse to visit the shop again,.......or would I? Would that be seen as confidence, ie. using my own initiative?

I must admit, the sooner I fix this the sooner I can get on with other things!

congrat., U did it! U asked for her #, she refused (now U know she wasn't/isn't interested),NEXT. Don't bother with brilliant excuses and forget that shop and her. Find another girls to date.

 

[ali_g]

Are you sure it's better? I always say something like "Hey, let's have a cup of coffee sometime." and if she agrees I ask for the number. Seems a bit strange for me to just ask for the number.

I'm not necessarily disagreeing. Indeed I have closed some women with that type of close. There are two reasons why I suggest just getting the #:

- you keep her in suspense. She doesn't need to know all of your intentions,
- if you're nervous about closing, it allows you to be direct and confident because if you haven't thought of an activity, then you really just want her # for the time being. You can think of some ideas while you're out of her sight and she's waiting for your call.

 

[bp1974]

Originally posted by Bobby
thanks again guys for your thoughts,

If I was to make a moove sooner rather than later, I would need to think of some brilliant excuse to visit the shop again,.......or would I? Would that be seen as confidence, ie. using my own initiative?

I must admit, the sooner I fix this the sooner I can get on with other things!

Dude, there's nothing to fix. You gave her your number -if she wants to get together with you, she'll call. If she doesn't, she won't. Women are not that mysterious or complex - the fact you gave her your number instead of asking for hers will not change whether or not she likes you.

I'm sorry to say it, but it seems like you have your answer already - she hasn't called. And any misguided attempt by you to try and 'fix' things is only going to appear desperate to her.

Raise a glass to her and move on.

 

[MrNiceGuy]

ah looks like you misunderstood my post,

when I say make moves sooner rather than later, I mean with other chicks you meet in the future, if you can, make sure you do it on the first or second meeting...

like everyone has said, its best to forget about this chick.from what you've written it seems obvious she's not interested, don't waste any more time or emotions on her, you'll only end up getting hurt, put her in the past and concentrate on doing things right next time you meet someone.

 

[Bobby]

Good news!!

I met her shopping one day and now we are dating!!

It turns out that underneath her confidence in work, she is actually really a shy gal outside work and was too scared to call me.........

So it just goes to show, there is some fate in the world!!!

 

[PuertoRican_Lover]

YIPPPEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!

This is one of the reasons why you don't give girls your number - their nature is not designed to pursue men!!!!!