I find it very hard to meet women in real life or online that don’t want kids

[DanGreen]

So my entire life I have never wanted kids and doubt I will ever change my mind seeing as I’m 36 now.
I’m even considering getting a vasectomy soon.

I did a lot of casual dating/sleeping around in my 20s and whilst I’m not looking to rush into anything serious, I do feel I’m at the stage of my life where I’m open to meeting a great girl I connect with and date her more seriously than just a one night stand.

Problem is, so many girls I speak to online or in real life all basically want kids at some point in the future. All the single mums I instantly left swipe on.

My mates are saying “Just pretend you want kids just to bang them for now until you meet a girl that doesn’t want kids”
Honestly I just feel that lying to a girl to get her into bed is a little pathetic.

Just wondered how many guys on SoSuave are like me and never want to have kids?
Also do you find it hard meeting women who also never want kids?

 

[Velasco]

I’m even considering getting a vasectomy soon.

problem solved

 

[Billtx49]

Since the dark ages of time women have wanted kids. They’re biologically wired for it. It’s in their dna. Women that don’t want kids are the few and far between minority, and outside the norm. If you don’t want kids, tell them and let the chips fall where they will.…

 

[christie]

Ditto to Op's post, but I no longer use online dating or social media, just here and I'm a girl who never wanted kids.

I had two exes that did the bait and switch or whatever its called where they pretended to not want kids and talked about vasectomies(edit: no it wasn't those two exes pretending to want vasectomies, it was just the exfiance.....it was weird I remembered that wrong....the two exboyfriends merely led me to believe they didn't want children in what they said in person and wrote in letters or texts)but then did a 180 and 'changed their mind'

Please don't lie.

 

[sangheilios]

Unless you are dating women that are quite a bit younger than you, most women in their late 20s to early 30s start to feel their biological clock ticking and want to have children with a man sometime in the near future. You are going to have a hard time meeting women who do not want children at all, they do exist obviously but from my personal observations there is usually a reason as to why they are like this and they often aren't good. What immediately comes to mind is career focused women, especially doctors and hyper competitive business women. It's pretty well observed that women like this aren't really good relationship material in that they aren't as emotionally available and are almost more masculine in their existence. There is nothing wrong with any of this, just some things to consider.

I'm proud of you for having standards in regards to your own personal behavior in not leading on women purely for the sake of attaining sex whilst promising them something you are not willing to provide. I see this type of behavior far too often in my area and I like you feel it is pretty pathetic, especially if the man is anything beyond 25, let alone 30 or close to 40 haha.

 

[Barrister]

Unless you are dating women that are quite a bit younger than you, most women in their late 20s to early 30s start to feel their biological clock ticking and want to have children with a man sometime in the near future. You are going to have a hard time meeting women who do not want children at all, they do exist obviously but from my personal observations there is usually a reason as to why they are like this and they often aren't good. What immediately comes to mind is career focused women, especially doctors and hyper competitive business women. It's pretty well observed that women like this aren't really good relationship material in that they aren't as emotionally available and are almost more masculine in their existence. There is nothing wrong with any of this, just some things to consider.

I'm proud of you for having standards in regards to your own personal behavior in not leading on women purely for the sake of attaining sex whilst promising them something you are not willing to provide. I see this type of behavior far too often in my area and I like you feel it is pretty pathetic, especially if the man is anything beyond 25, let alone 30 or close to 40 haha.

Very good post. If a woman does not want any children or is bad with children my experience has been they have some major red flags somewhere else completely unrelated to children.

 

[EyeBRollin]

I want kids.

If you want to date women that do NOT want kids you should be dating single mothers. Every woman that is biologically able to (<40 years old) and has not yet birthed wants children.

 

[bat soup]

So my entire life I have never wanted kids and doubt I will ever change my mind seeing as I’m 36 now.
I’m even considering getting a vasectomy soon.

I did a lot of casual dating/sleeping around in my 20s and whilst I’m not looking to rush into anything serious, I do feel I’m at the stage of my life where I’m open to meeting a great girl I connect with and date her more seriously than just a one night stand.

Problem is, so many girls I speak to online or in real life all basically want kids at some point in the future. All the single mums I instantly left swipe on.

My mates are saying “Just pretend you want kids just to bang them for now until you meet a girl that doesn’t want kids”
Honestly I just feel that lying to a girl to get her into bed is a little pathetic.

Just wondered how many guys on SoSuave are like me and never want to have kids?
Also do you find it hard meeting women who also never want kids?

Women want children. It's part of their nature. I think the exceptions are rare. However, that doesn't necessarily mean they want to have kids with you.

 

[Kotaix]

I know quite a few women who don't want kids.

What others have said is true. Even if a woman doesn't want kids now it's no guarantee she won't want them tomorrow. If the baby rabies strikes, all rational thought goes out the window and she will dump you for someone who will give her kids.

I'd recommend dating women in their early to mid 30s. Baby rabies tends to develop in a woman's late 20s or very early 30s. If she hasn't developed them by 33-34 them there's a better chance she won't develop it at all.

I think lying about wanting kids is a particularly selfish and even evil tactic for finding a woman for a relationship. Don't waste her limited fertility on games.

I would make it abundantly clear that you don't want kids.

 

[SW15]

I'm 37. I would prefer not to have children. I haven't had a vasectomy and don't plan to do that. I considered a vasectomy at times in my 20s but haven't since 30. Because of this, I can tell women that I am open to having kids because it is technically true.

This is how I handle things.

I don't really talk about it. I'll talk more about it at times when the woman doesn't want kids and she makes that clear. The majority of women I've gone out with on dates probably wanted it, but since there were a lot of the one date, no sex, no 2nd date type dates, I'd never know.

My longer term relationships have been with women that didn't want kids or were many years away from wanting kids. I didn't impact their fertility plans.

Getting a vasectomy will often hurt one's long term relationship potential with a lot of women, especially childless women 35 and under. This will even hurt chances with women unenthusiastic about having kids in the short term. Omitting or postponing is ideal because most relationships will fall apart long before having kids comes into the equation. If you get a vasectomy, your chances will increase with single moms who don't want more kids. Unless you're specifically targeting the single mom audience, I would recommend not having a vasectomy.

I'd recommend dating women in their early to mid 30s. Baby rabies tends to develop in a woman's late 20s or very early 30s. If she hasn't developed them by 33-34 them there's a better chance she won't develop it at all.

At 36, he might be better off dating 18-25 year olds who might want babies eventually but not in the short term. He could get a 2-3 year relationship out of these women and not impact their fertility. As he gets closer to 40, he could date childless women who are 38+ who would be unlikely to conceive.

You are going to have a hard time meeting women who do not want children at all, they do exist obviously but from my personal observations there is usually a reason as to why they are like this and they often aren't good. What immediately comes to mind is career focused women, especially doctors and hyper competitive business women. It's pretty well observed that women like this aren't really good relationship material in that they aren't as emotionally available and are almost more masculine in their existence.

This has been my experience. It's not easy to meet women who don't want children in any venue.

Doctors, lawyers, and hyper competitive business women are the most likely to not want children. What you said about them is accurate. These type of women are most prevalent on swipe apps. It's unlikely you'll meet these women through in person approaching because they're either at home working now or at their workplace (pre-pandemic). I never met a female MD through in-person approaching. I don't think I've ever met a female PhD with in-person approaching. I've met 2 female lawyers. One was in the gym when she was wearing the t-shirt of a pro sports team. I didn't expect that. Another was at an event hosted at a bar. I've seen way more than 2 female lawyers on swipe apps. Careerist women in business roles are more common. It's difficult to avoid them though they are more prevalent online than offline.

 

[BackInTheGame78]

That's because it's normal for women to want kids. It's unusual for them not to. So you are severely limiting your options right off the bat with that, which is why I am surprised you are surprised by this.

 

[Redwolf]

Get the vasectomy. I have two kids with a chick and she wanted more. I was good with two and got the vasectomy. There's no more talk about having more since we can't.

Get the V. Meet girls and have fun. The I had a vasectomy talk can happen later.

 

[Georgepithyou]

It would be weird for women your age to not want kids

 

[BackInTheGame78]

It would be weird for women your age to not want kids

I mean exactly my point. OP, you would be considered the weird one, not these women.

 

[christie]

he's not weird, its a personal choice that's completely legal and acceptable.

 

[BackInTheGame78]

he's not weird, its a personal choice that's completely legal and acceptable.

I am not saying he is, I am saying in the grand scheme he would be rather than the women. Species exist to procreate, its a biological instinct.

 

[bat soup]

So my entire life I have never wanted kids and doubt I will ever change my mind seeing as I’m 36 now.
I’m even considering getting a vasectomy soon.

I did a lot of casual dating/sleeping around in my 20s and whilst I’m not looking to rush into anything serious, I do feel I’m at the stage of my life where I’m open to meeting a great girl I connect with and date her more seriously than just a one night stand.

Problem is, so many girls I speak to online or in real life all basically want kids at some point in the future. All the single mums I instantly left swipe on.

My mates are saying “Just pretend you want kids just to bang them for now until you meet a girl that doesn’t want kids”
Honestly I just feel that lying to a girl to get her into bed is a little pathetic.

Just wondered how many guys on SoSuave are like me and never want to have kids?
Also do you find it hard meeting women who also never want kids?

How does the subject of kids keep coming up with women you only just met?

 

[bat soup]

It would be weird for women your age to not want kids

Give them a kid if they want one. Just don't tell them your real name or address.

 

[BackInTheGame78]

Give them a kid if they want one. Just don't tell them your real name or address.

Pretty stupid post. They can easily subpoena the dating app for your IP address and find you if it's fron OLD. And most people give enough info to be easily found within the first hour of a convo if need be.

So hook yourself financially for 18+ years? For what?

 

[bat soup]

Pretty stupid post. They can easily subpoena the dating app for your IP address and find you if it's fron OLD. And most people give enough info to be easily found within the first hour of a convo if need be.

So hook yourself financially for 18+ years? For what?

Use a VPN and say your name is Bob.