Beware: AFC Moments that will make you CRINGE
Last night, on the way home from work, my car broke down. This was ten minutes after my cell phone died. I didn't feel like waiting around for someone to pull over at 1AM to help me out, so I just locked my **** up and made the 5 mile hike back home. I had a lot of time to reflect during my little stroll.
I've been the biggest AFC for my entire life. And At about mile 3, I made the decision that my life has to change.
Last year was my first year at college, and while I did alright in terms of academics, I really screwed myself socially.
I met an upperclassman girl, who I instantly tabbed "the girl of my dreams." I don't know how, but I ended up in a relationship with her. Naturally, I thought I was hot ****, as a freshman dating a hot senior.
Things went ok... But I should have known that the relationship was twisted when she would hide me from her friends ( I literally had to sit in a closet for twenty minutes when her room mate came home unexpectedly).
I made the mistake of telling her things about me. I told her that I was a virgin (that was counterproductive, because that actually killed my chances of having sex with her.) I told her about my lack of experience with women. I told her about a girl I was in love with all of high school, and who ended up walking out on me with some lacrosse player. I told her all about my insecurities. She, in return, told all of these things to her support network of equally *****y girls.
On the other hand, she began trying to "change" me. Before I started dating her I would hit the gym everyday, trying to put myself into better shape. She told me that I should be happy with the way I am, and that by going to the gym all the time I was "immature". So I stopped.
She would always talk about her past boyfriends, one who was a musician and the other who was a Marine, and how mature and manly they were in comparison to me.
I still stuck around. She was the girl of my dreams...
I left school for Thanksgiving Break, and instead of hanging out with friends, I spent the majority of the holiday on Skype waiting for her to sign on (We live on opposite sides of the country). When I got back to school, I took her out to a really nice restaurant for a date where she told me that she met another guy during the holidays. Turns out the other guy was a 36 year old congressional aide or some **** (keep in mind, she was 20!).
For the rest of the year I spiraled out of control. For the first half, I was dead set on getting this girl back. I lurked her facebook constantly, where she posted pictures from the Hawaii vacation her new boyfriend took her on for spring break. I schemed to win her back.
Then I realized that I'd never get her back, and forced myself to get over her.
I felt like the entire school knew about my personal life and insecurities. I felt like I didn't have a chance in hell to meet another girl.
I fell into a porn addiction, I began smoking, and drinking tons.
Yesterday, During my hike home, I woke up.
My life has gone to ****.
I used to be in good shape (six pack abs and everything!) Now I have a gut. I haven't been in contact with a woman since I came home from school in May. I'm still a virgin. I have no motivation to live. I eat like ****. I stay up late and surf the web until 4AM. I'm balding.
And suddenly this explosive burst of energy consumed me. I came home, and instead of going to sleep, I tossed out all of my cigarettes and handles of vodka. I deleted all of my porn files. I deactivated my facebook account.
I went to sleep, and slept a solid eight hours. This morning, I got up and ran 3 miles, then I hit the gym. I skipped Hardy's for breakfast and cooked an omelet at home. Later today, I'm getting a haircut, and getting some new clothes.
I'm going to get my life back in order.
