I feel trapped!!!

[AureliusMaximus]

Im stuck in a job field I hate but its all I have experience in. I HATE going into work everyday because I am burned out. I cant stand having a boss. I never get along with bosses.

Start your own business if you have experience in a field of profession which actually enjoy doing.

 

[CAPSLOCK BANDIT]

If you didn't have aging parents to rely on, you would get a job like everyone else does. Your parents are not doing you any favours by financially supporting you as a 40+ year old man.

I thought he was 20s

 

[Maximus Optimus]

You are white?

I am half white and half spanish

 

[Alvafe]

I am half white and half spanish

if you ask me ignore corrector, he cerainly can't add and only think woman is the end game.

there is not much to say, can you start you bussiness even when working? with college to add I say such up for these 3 years just to have a income, college tend to love to throw random costs here and there, then after these year see hw it goes, also you could try to find a new job something less annoying or something with a less dumb boss

no one here can tell you for certain what you can do, also don't compare yourself to others is a futility endevor and only idiots do, sit down put everything you do on the table see the pros and cons, try to get some info on the bussiness you want to start, if is possible to start small check what you need any possible licenses and so on, see the whole scope then decide

 

[corrector]

I am half white and half spanish

Perhaps its job discrimination then. Have you thought of suing the former employees for unfair termination and job discrimination? You can take the money you win from the lawsuit and use it to set up your own business. Get legal advice from a lawyer, explain your story as to why you got dismissed and see if there are grounds.

 

[DonJuanjr]

nor see eye to eye with those cuckolds in leadership

You know, I've thought about this myself. Since becoming red pilled, it's hard to see myself having to take orders from a blue pill.

 

[corrector]

if you ask me ignore corrector, he cerainly can't add and only think woman is the end game.

Another anti-corrector poster talking about of his a$$. Well at least its original BS. What makes you think I can't add or think women is the end game?

 

[BMX]

You know, I've thought about this myself. Since becoming red pilled, it's hard to see myself having to take orders from a blue pill.

It's deep. These guys and ladies are typically out of touch with their juniors or the vast majority that work underneath them. They are out of touch with reality as a result and insist on acting like it's still 1980-fukking-two. They are only in it for themselves and to complete a pension. These are the people causing high turnover rates and in my previous careers...they cause those beneath them to get killed in field. Good stuff.

 

[metalwater]

Im stuck in a job field I hate but its all I have experience in. I HATE going into work everyday because I am burned out. I cant stand having a boss. I never get along with bosses. Im currently in college but wont graduate until 3 years from now. I was considering open up a small business but dont know if 40K will be enough money to start. I wanna open up a storage space business. Any ideas guys?

Start applying for jobs that are at least 80% to 125% of what you earn now. Apply for everything you can sniff out. Online, in person, everything that is even close. Competitors to your job, suppliers, customers, anyone you know. Make it a mission. Your in school, check if the school has any leads. Ask the teachers, guidance personnel, everyone.

Apply all electric companies all places if you are able to move, including outside US if your school can be remote.

 

[RBK]

I'm younger than you and I also can't speak from direct experience, but back in my restaurant days, I hired someone who was mid 40s that recently quit his full-time job. He became a part-time bartender at my place and also got a real estate agent license. That plus he did some consulting on the side. He seemed to be doing pretty well and didn't really have to answer to anyone. But all of the things he did required basic sales skills.

I also know some people who swear by day/swing trading. You only need about 10k from what I hear, but I have no clue as to how the market is these days.

If you really hate your job and having a boss, might as well do something about it. Sure, it's a risk, but not having to answer to anyone is one of the greatest rewards you can reap and completely worth it IMO. Storage space biz sounds kind of expensive to start. Try spending a few hours doing some research on some home businesses to start, or get on fiverr or something. You'll thank yourself in a year if you start now.

I work in Real Estate. Its a difficult profession. Completely saturated since everyone with a pulse thinks they would make a good real estate Agent. There is a massive amount of people doing it now. I have been doing it 14 years so luckily I have a good base. Good LUCK as a new Agent.

 

[corrector]

I work in Real Estate. Its a difficult profession. Completely saturated since everyone with a pulse thinks they would make a good real estate Agent. There is a massive amount of people doing it now. I have been doing it 14 years so luckily I have a good base. Good LUCK as a new Agent.

I also work in Real-Estate. It has not worked out for me and is more of a sophisticated form of under-employment / unemployment with an occasional break here and there. However, I have got some breaks when I needed it the most and it has helped me to qualify for government programs since I did meet the minimum threshold so I at least got allot of covid-cheques out of it, I also borrowed $ 160,000 in credit and only had to pay back $ 35,000, and that is part of the "breaks" from Real-Estate. (ie creditors believe you make allot of money so they extend credit, when you can't pay it back, since its commission only and they can't collect, they cut you some deals when you eventually file for a soft bankruptcy to deal with the debt)

I'm trying another self-employment with selling insurance over zoom. Self-employment is really tough, but you do get some breaks here and there.

 

[ubercat]

Ok op is suffering and actually sounds really ready to change so I'm going to invest half an hour of my life in this post

I work in IT projects as a contractor. Competitive, political and cut throat field often with corrupt relationships between exec and the big consultancies. So being a contractor I am often the fresh meat at a new job. Sh1tty biz but it pays well

AI is here. All the major i t vendors are building it's into their software platforms. The jobs that are going to be least affected are the ones with lots of interpersonal interaction. So I think it's worth investing time and energy in this area.

And as a new employee at a job you are at your most vulnerable. You don't know the politics have allies or a track record. Often they will be vicious competitors who will try to put you down because you could be a potential rival.

I would suggest focusing on 3 approaches that could make a short term difference (IE. Within 6 months)

1. Learn to pause your reaction. Use meditation and CBT techniques to lessen the fight or flight response. When a competitor attacks you should most often deflect instead of fighting back

2. Learn to get liked in your new herd
I would suggest the books connect first and the business of friendship.

3. Learn to manage up everyone needs to be liked by their boss. If you Google on manage up or better relationship with boss you will find a zillion blog posts and discussions. Find some tricks that resonate with you.

And longer term do what I do. Write down the exact words in meetings (which is easy now we can zoom record) that people used to handle subtle attacks and practice them out loud a lot.

The most common attack by females in the workplace is the you're not one of us slur. So they might try and bring the conversation around to all their kids so that you feel left out. Or make sure you're not invited to some key meeting.

You aren't going to make friends with the evil ones. So try and make friends with the friendly or neutral ones. And make sure you always say nice things about your enemies and competitors in public meetings. That makes them look mean and small minded when they are trying to backstab you to other people.

When it comes to office politics a lot of people point you to the 48 laws of power. I Ifeel like that book is good if you are already established but as a new employee I think you should be trying for warmth over power.

If somebody attacks you quite viciously in an open forum that is a different circumstance. At
that point it is absolutely vital that you call out the behaviour is unacceptable so you attack the behaviour not the person.

Hope this helps.

 

[corrector]

Another thing you can do is buy an Occulus Quest 2 headset. If you feel trapped, then you can trick your mind into thinking it can go anywhere. When I had a difficult trainer, I bought that quietly off amazon and just put it over my head behind the trainer's back. As you can guess they had me re-assigned to another trainer. My passive-aggressive tendencies can be a bit much for some people.

 

[ubercat]

Sorry I didn't really make the link in my post. To me in Ops posts what is standing out is he's not being popular in his new jobs. And since I'm a contractor I've lived that sitch many times. BTW I've never actually managed to land a gig in utilities - its a sort after industry because of the breadth and job security, so I'd look seriously at moving laterally in the company. But you'll need an internal network to make that happen so we're back to the people skills

Since Fembots and Woke/Cancel culture have taken over not being seen as part of the herd will get you killed quick. Its all a popularity content/social club now especially in any team that is 40% female or over.

For the man up and take responsibility crowd here -yes that is on top of being competent at your job. As the old saying goes 'you have to go along to get along'

Whether he stays employed and builds a side hustle or goes out on his own I can't see any downside to upgrading his people skills.

I'd add to book list 'Atomic Habbits' (spoiler - willpower only won't cut it) - there you go 3 books (2 weekends reading) that if you apply the knowledge will change your life.

And since what I suggested requires some hard core and hard applied learning here's a bit of advice I like on being an active learner:

Active Learning Tips

All about learning, but starting with the first step: HEAR. This anagram (which is helpfully “hear”) is something to quickly remember during lessons to help you focus attention and really listen. H is for HALT—stop everything else you’re doing and consciously decide to focus all your awareness on the important thing: the new material unfolding in front of you. Turn off your phone, quieten down your inner talk, and stop multitasking. Cutting out distractions in the moment is great, but this also extends to good preparation, i.e. making sure you have secured enough dedicated time to study and study alone, where you know you won’t be interrupted. E is for ENGAGE—now take all that brain power and put it on the speaker/lecturer/teacher. Depending on the kind of study you’re doing, you can take notes, ask questions, respond with feedback, make mind maps, or record your own reactions or objections. If you can, steer the lesson or bring your own knowledge into the mix. Summarize, paraphrase, and draw connections. Think of it as a dialogue, i.e. you and the new material are having a conversation together. A is for ANTICIPATE—you don’t have to just sit and wait patiently to see what information will be sent your way. Predict what will come next—this will greatly increase your comprehension and recall and give you a richer grasp on the material. Ask yourself questions and see if the unfolding information is answering them. Be your own inner teacher as you prompt yourself with cues and questions. This will help you draw a connecting thread through the content, as well as keep you interested and focused. R is for REPLAY—no, this is not for the day after or for months later when you start studying for a test! Replay is best done in the moment as you’re engaging with the material. Think about what you’re hearing and repeat it or write it down in your own words. Extract the key ideas of every sentence as you hear it. You might like to simply replay the overall theme or structure of the lesson to recap.​

 

[Maximus Optimus]

Sorry I didn't really make the link in my post. To me in Ops posts what is standing out is he's not being popular in his new jobs. And since I'm a contractor I've lived that sitch many times. BTW I've never actually managed to land a gig in utilities - its a sort after industry because of the breadth and job security, so I'd look seriously at moving laterally in the company. But you'll need an internal network to make that happen so we're back to the people skills

Since Fembots and Woke/Cancel culture have taken over not being seen as part of the herd will get you killed quick. Its all a popularity content/social club now especially in any team that is 40% female or over.

For the man up and take responsibility crowd here -yes that is on top of being competent at your job. As the old saying goes 'you have to go along to get along'

Whether he stays employed and builds a side hustle or goes out on his own I can't see any downside to upgrading his people skills.

And since what I suggested requires some hard core and hard applied learning here's a bit of advice I like on being an active learner:

Active Learning Tips

All about learning, but starting with the first step: HEAR. This anagram (which is helpfully “hear”) is something to quickly remember during lessons to help you focus attention and really listen. H is for HALT—stop everything else you’re doing and consciously decide to focus all your awareness on the important thing: the new material unfolding in front of you. Turn off your phone, quieten down your inner talk, and stop multitasking. Cutting out distractions in the moment is great, but this also extends to good preparation, i.e. making sure you have secured enough dedicated time to study and study alone, where you know you won’t be interrupted. E is for ENGAGE—now take all that brain power and put it on the speaker/lecturer/teacher. Depending on the kind of study you’re doing, you can take notes, ask questions, respond with feedback, make mind maps, or record your own reactions or objections. If you can, steer the lesson or bring your own knowledge into the mix. Summarize, paraphrase, and draw connections. Think of it as a dialogue, i.e. you and the new material are having a conversation together. A is for ANTICIPATE—you don’t have to just sit and wait patiently to see what information will be sent your way. Predict what will come next—this will greatly increase your comprehension and recall and give you a richer grasp on the material. Ask yourself questions and see if the unfolding information is answering them. Be your own inner teacher as you prompt yourself with cues and questions. This will help you draw a connecting thread through the content, as well as keep you interested and focused. R is for REPLAY—no, this is not for the day after or for months later when you start studying for a test! Replay is best done in the moment as you’re engaging with the material. Think about what you’re hearing and repeat it or write it down in your own words. Extract the key ideas of every sentence as you hear it. You might like to simply replay the overall theme or structure of the lesson to recap.​

You NAILED IT. I dont like to follow a herd at all. The herd then gets mad at me and sees me as a lone wolf. I dont wanna follow others. I cant stand taking orders from bosses. With all of that being said. What are some jobs or avenues that I can do that would pay my bills?

 

[ubercat]

Not surprised I've seen this happen many times. For example Management Consultancies use herd mobbing tactics to get freelancers fired and place more of their people.

TBH what I've said here takes a bit of reflection and processing. It feels like you've decided on a path. Are you still open to discussing options?

 

[Maximus Optimus]

Not surprised I've seen this happen many times. For example Management Consultancies use herd mobbing tactics to get freelancers fired and place more of their people.

TBH what I've said here takes a bit of reflection and processing. It feels like you've decided on a path. Are you still open to discussing options?

What path are you referring to?

 

[ubercat]

Ok I really have to get back to my own work. BTW I saw in one of your posts you still are working for the electric company. If so my advice is relevant. If you're between gigs its find a new job ASAP and then build the longer term plan. So let us all know.

Maybe an anolagy helps. I used to be a martial arts guys still self train and can pretty much play with most blackbelts. In martial arts you get idiots who obsess about which system is best. Does boxing beat wrestling. The answer is its always the best man. And what that comes down to is attributes. Does the guy always keep the best range for his system. Does he know how to angle and cover up etc. So what I'm saying is that whichever field you decide to learn HOW you learn it and HOW you talk to people WHO have the in depth knowledge and different perspectives you need is more important than WHAT you do. The map is not the territory - your plan will change but the attributes you build help you in any field for life.

So I would see it this way:

1. Identify a side hustle so you know you're working towards something. For example there's plenty of affiliate marketing and copy writing gigs on Fiverr, Upwork etc. The $ is rubbish but it starts you learning about digital marketing which you're going to need whatever business you start up. And you've got something new in your brain so you don't feel trapped and your starting to develop that learner mindset which you ARE going to need. Learner mindset is also the best anti-fragile mindset I know so far.

I faked my way through 3 interviews to get my current gig and have been going hard out every weekend to learn what's coming next. That is the modern world if you're a freelancer.

2. Start improving your people skills today. If you really can't afford the $20 - the book connect first is on torrent sites :-( which makes me sad as the author really is worth her $20. Skim the first 6 tips and make a plan for which 1 you are going to try in your current job THIS week. Its like a dating - a little bit of learning and a lot of doing is best.

 

[ubercat]

And todays lesson in getting along is I've just invested an hour of my life so rep my posts you cheep cheep guy I am joking I hang around here to help who I can. But the principle of win win and Whats in it for them is something you're going to need to imprint into your DNA. And believe me that ain't a trivial change to make.