I feel so pathetic right now. All im asking for is advice.

[SoulAssasins]

I really don't know what's wrong with me at all but I am always intimidated to talk to people or even look at them. I really don't want talk to anybody cause I don't want them to assume bad things about me like "what the hell did this guy come from?". I can't believe im 18 years old I really don't have any friends in college and I never had a girlfriend before.

It's funny cause everytime a attractive girl passes by me I don't look back at her or anything. Sometimes I don't even care about many things anymore like my grades, how attractive a girl is, or my family. I just feel like im alone and that's what im used to.

 

[flexion_]

Well you have self esteem problems - thats pretty clear. You may also be depressed - probably a good time to see a doctor.

 

[DonJuanMonk]

Fixing your life problems requires that you must do it yourself or make mistakes here and there to live in the experience so you can improve later on.

 

[speedo_meme]

I know how you feel. I think everybody struggles with self esteem every now and again. First of all, start smiling. Think of the good things in your life. Sit down and list what's important to you. Figure out what's motivating you. Before you can even begin to start trying to have relationships, you have to make yourself happy first. You seem like you don't have much going on, so you have a little time on your hands. Go do something that you've always wanted to. Get something done that makes you feel good about yourself. Go run 5 miles and be proud that you did. Get my drift?

 

[Jamo]

i feel you

I used to be like that from the ages of 14-18, when I used to live in the States. Were you picked on alot in school? I used to be "the fat kid" I really suffered. I just got over it one fine day after deciding to lose all my weight - since then it has been straight up (now just to get rid of my last vestiges of AFCness).

 

[Rollo Tomassi]

The first part of self esteem is 'self'. You are responsible for your own esteem and no amount of advice can magically give it to you. Myself and others here can tell you what they think you should do, but it will have zero impact until you make the decision to change youreslf. You have to decide that you need to change. Personality is malable and you are the one who decides what's 'you' and what isn't. Remember, you will only keep getting what you have gotten if you keep doing what you have done.

First take assessment of what you already have. What are you good at? How can you capitalize on these things? You're 18, are you in college? What are you pursuing? What's your physical condition like? Are you fat? What it sounds like to me is you lack confidence, what is the cause of this and what can you do to improve your confidence? One of the easiest ways to develop confidence is through physical activities - join a gym, start some kind of martial art, etc. You'll probably suck in the begining, but the goal isn't to be a professional body builder or even a competition black belt, it's to gain confidence and use it to your advantage.

I'd also suggest DJ Bootcamp and an involved reading of the DJ Bible as well.

 

[[o_0]]

visit psychiatrist its gonna help

 

[WestCoaster]

I would visit a counselor. Go counselor/psychologist before psychiatrist, which are spendy and just want to pump you full of drugs, and really don't work that well with the mental/emotional/psyche stuff. Their job is to support the pharmaceutical industry and get you hopped up on meds. That is priority one.

Go to a mental health counselor. Despite claims to the contrary, it's more often NOT medical/chemical issues, and usually your mental psyche. Sometimes it is chemical imbalances, but don't assume you immediately need meds. Also, here's what they don't want you to do: There are some great natural supplements which do a good job with depression and anxiety. They're cheaper than meds.

As noted: Also get a hobby, go to a gym, read books, get some fresh air and so forth. You're still young, the world is ahead of you. I know guys in their 40's and 50's who are miserable and feel it's too late to change. Might as well change now.

Counseling does help if you find the right one, if you get a bad one, bail ASAP, they can do a lot of damage. Takes a few sessions to get the ball rolling, however.

Work on the small things first ... that's why the DJ boot camp is there. Work on eye contact, then getting "hellos" from people on the street. Hang in there.

 

[Bible_Belt]

Eye contact is easy to practice. You can do it anywhere. If the other person does not drop their eyes after a second, just nod your head like you are saying hello and smile more broadly.

When you have a one-on-one conversation, try to roughly match the level of EC that the other person is giving you.

 

[Q-Pid]

Join Shezzler's bootcamp. It will help your self esteem no end, and is staggered so that you GRADUALLY become more self confident in yourself.

You're only 18, so it's nothing you can't fix. You have the rest of your life ahead of you

 

[SoulAssasins]

Well I attend college and there it seems that no one acts immature atleast yet anyways but I feel so bad about myself because people always look at me and when I try to make eye contact at them they look away quickly....this makes me feel really bad. There's also times when a girl would smile at me or something and I get pissed because I know they think I look stupid or ugly.

 

[lebRambo]

Originally posted by SoulAssasins
There's also times when a girl would smile at me or something and I get pissed because I know they think I look stupid or ugly.

holy sh*t dude, have you got it wrong! A girl would not just smile at you if she things you look stupid or ugly. You are reaching for a less likely negative explanation when a much more likely positive explanation exists: she thinks your hot/good looking/nice/someone she'd like to talk to. how can you be so defeatist about this?

 

[Warrior Princess]

Holy Effin Sh*t!

Whatever you do! DO NOT COMMIT SUICIDE!

I am serious too because those are some signs.

If you need someone to talk to email me.

If you need some make-over tips contact me also.


Meg

 

[Q-Pid]

Originally posted by SoulAssasins
Well I attend college and there it seems that no one acts immature atleast yet anyways but I feel so bad about myself because people always look at me and when I try to make eye contact at them they look away quickly....this makes me feel really bad. There's also times when a girl would smile at me or something and I get pissed because I know they think I look stupid or ugly.

Dude do what I said and stop worrying. It's not a big deal , and it's nothign that can't be fixed.

Stop worrying about it, and start doing something about it. This website is a great resource for sorting out the EXACT problems you have!

 

[DJ4Real]

My best advice to you is to first learn how to make regular friends first. And then, once you think you charisma, learn how to attract women you like. Work on your inner game.

Good Luck

 

[SuperEMan]

Everyone has their ups and downs, but I'd say to just focus on what's important to you right now and enjoy doing what you do. Now focus on how you feel when you're doing those things you enjoy, and practice feeling these positive feelings everyday. Trust me, a person can feel happy if they wanted to, he/she just has to train for it.

Happiness is contageous and you will not believe how many peoples' lives I brighten everyday. Everyone smiles at/with me and I in turn feel even better. It also helps to stop reading this forum and start feeling and experiencing what you desire.

You project what you're feeling inside (the level you handle your inner game) out wards through your state of mind, bodylanguage etc (outter/visible game) and people, esp attractive women, pick that up... it's a wonderful thing to do for yourself

 

[organizedconfusion]

if i were you i'd just make as many friends as you could
with different people,especially hot girls.
it'll only demystifies them and show you that they are
just regular people. only with a flashy attractive wrapper.

i have had a serious social anixety disorder also,
only because i was soo worried about how i was being percieved as.Once i got over the fact that nobody really cares about
whatever issues i got going on in my mind...it no longer mattered.

i still have problems with eye contact, but i learned that i had more power when i didn't make eye contact while entering a
room and to hold eye contact til the other person averted
theirs gave me more power of the frame. and if they don't they
we lock eyes and keep them locked.

there is a product called deep inner game and mastery
by david D it's an awesome program dealing with inner game issues.

 

[The Cooler King]

You dont need doctors.

You have to pull yourself out of things.
Medications just make things worse since as you take them you will depend on those drugs more and more.

I think if you just say hi to as many girls as you can...hell even girl or guy, it will help you a lot.

Originally posted by Warrior Princess
Holy Effin Sh*t!

Whatever you do! DO NOT COMMIT SUICIDE!

I am serious too because those are some signs.

If you need someone to talk to email me.

If you need some make-over tips contact me also.


Meg

You can give me some make-over tips.

I'm open to anything.

 

[Sapiens]

Dude, take a deep breath. All of us been there. Now let me tell you something, this world needs you. You were created for a reason, you may not know what for but you will find out. So stick around, ok.

Now, we need to get you out of that slump. Take Shezzler’s boot camp, it will help you.

-Sapiens

 

[Jariel]

You're 18 and that's young! Many guys go through a bad patch at this age and I personally was at rock bottom. I suffered social phobia and panic attacks, not to mention I was fat and ugly and being insulted by random strangers. But it was just a bad phase that I pulled myself out of.

Instead of thinking "I'm 18, I should have done x or y by now", think "I'm 18, I have time to get over this problem and go on to achieve amazing things". Then do it!

There is some excellent advice scattered around this forum for people with low self-esteem. Run a search and I'm sure you will find some very inspiring posts and have a few revelations hit you (like many of us have).

And as much as I hate sounding like a broken record, taking up body building and getting in shape is like a miracle solution to a lot of self-esteem problems (just educate yourself before you start). I've done it and many guys here have done it and it comes highly recommended!